Mealtime Monday: Kim's Chicken Surprise

Kim's Chicken Surprise

This morning brings the first installment of our Meal Ideas. I'm starting off with an extremely versatile family favorite that provides an easy prep and clean up. You can adjust this recipe to meet the needs and desires of your family.

Ingredients:

3-4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

1/4 cup onion

1 can vegetable of choice (We really like corn or green beans. You can also use frozen- those are the best peas to use).

1 can condensed cream of or condensed tomato based soup. (This depends on what you have and what you have a taste for)

salt and pepper to taste

1/4 tsp lemon juice

Instructions:

Start with a saucepan. Sauté onions with a small amount of butter. Add your vegetable of choice and warm through. Add condensed soup with 3/4 can of water or milk (based on your preference) and bring to boil. Lay chicken breasts over top and salt and pepper to taste. Add lemon juice over chicken and simmer covered for 20 minutes.

While that is cooking, prepare mashed potatoes, rice or pasta. Serve chicken and vegetable mixture over the starch of choice and Enjoy. :-)

What the new year brings

I am working on my blog for the upcoming year and have decided to use this next year to move to a daily posting schedule. I am still working to finalize that schedule, but am focusing on the insanity that is  my life with things from recipes (maybe my awesome SIL should help me with those ones, hee hee) to family fun things and just fun kids moments. I am also going to do weekend devotionals for sure.
Just keep an eye out for what is coming. :-)

Someone has to tell them

I got so mad yesterday that I cried. I try for the most part to control my emotions and not let ignorance get the best of me, but sometimes I feel attacks are personal. Someone who doesn't know me from anyone made a statement on someone else's FB post and that started it all. I have also apologized to my friend who made the original post and has all of this ridiculousness on her wall now. I don't want her to think I was being negative towards her but rather the comments made.
The posting was an incredible insight into our society's need to remove religion from Christmas, especially within the school system who makes sure that Muslim students aren't left out (but leaving out Christians is fine... don't get me started there). I had posted my agreement sometime last week. A stranger got to me by posting the following (THERE IS A CURSE WORD IN IT FYI).. And yes, this is her direct quote.
"I'm more pissed no one can bring snacks for all the allergy fears" 
That is not misquoted or even taken out of context, I promise you that. I was a little frustrated by that and made sure to comment to express the severity of food allergies. As you all know, it is my passion and my purpose to educate as many as possible in this cause and to keep those children, like Owen, safe in the schools and in the real world.
I felt I handled that well, until another stranger posted something that made my blood boil...
"I have been an aid in many classrooms through the years and yes kids do have special needs and it has to be taken care of but the whole class should not have to do with out because one or two kids have allergies/religious beliefs. I have a blessed friend whose daughter is both diabetic and allergic to glutins ( I forget the name). She takes things in to class that she can eat for snacks. Also if someone really fears what might be brought in then have the child home schooled or they can leave the classroom. WHY does everyone think that all do with out because of one?"
So in my frustration I asked if she was implying that my child did not have a right to a public education because of his severe peanut allergy. She never did answer, but the original offender replied saying she was just joking. Seriously?? Joking? Whatever, I ultimately chose to tell her it did not seem to be a joke with her strong use of language. Her last comment though, insured there would be a blog posting. hee hee. The original commenter who is mad that she cannot take snacks said the following,
"The ironic thing in this thread is that it's about the majority "rolling over" and yet you have highjacked it for yourself without any foreknowledge of others approach when posting. It's rude. Let's agree to let you have the last word here since you turned it into an allergy agenda. Is that strong use of language enough?"
Taking everything I have not to post back something and be the bigger person here. I would love to say so many things to her and about her, but I honestly do not know her. I don't know what makes her so close minded, but this is something that we deal with all the time! It's no real surprise in the long run, but when someone asks me why I get so angry and defensive about Owen's food allergies, I cannot help but point out specific examples like this. These are people who NEED to understand. These are the people who NEED to be educated. And someone has to tell them, even if that means creating my own agenda (which was never mine in the first place) and hijacking someone else's thread.

Tonight he cried

I write this blog with such sadness in my heart. As a Mom, we never like to see our children hurt or upset. It's so hard to be through that and to see them going through tough times, but tonight he cried and it tore me apart. How I have anticipated this moment since he was an infant! But the words just didn't come as I expected.

My son is officially aware that death could happen for him at anytime and tonight he cried. It hit me as if someone had just taken my heart and ripped it from my chest without any concern of the results. He had just been to dance and was a little upset that parents hadn't bothered to read their emails to know not to bring cookies- peanut butter ones at that. He tried not to respond during dance, but I saw the emotion working through him as we headed towards the car. He was such a big boy and held it together very well for a 7 year old.
Inside the car, the emotions started to fill up until he cried. As we drove down the road, he asked me why there were people out there who didn't care about others. I asked him what he was talking about and his response is what took my breath away. Barely audible as he choked back the tears my little Owen said, "I am going to die the next time." He broke into tears and I couldn't even respond for the longest time as I silently sat there trying to drive behind the tears that took over. It was silent in that car for what seemed like forever before he finally spoke again. He said, "Mom, I know what the doctor said. The next time I have a reaction, I am going to die. I don't want to die." My baby is 7 and already has to consider how other people's choices affect his life. I had to pull it together and have to say it was only by the grace of God that I was able to do that. I really had no clue how to respond to him. I told him that it is always a possibility that we could lose him should he have another reaction but that is why we carry an epipen and make everyone around him aware of the consequences of their actions. We talked the entire ride about how it is Wade and my job to teach him to live in a peanut world.
Throughout the 30 minute drive, he asked great questions and spoke in great detail about how hard it is at school for him and how there are days that he feels lonely sitting by himself at lunch. And as we neared home he said that he wanted to be sure to talk to his teacher about a concern of his regarding indoor recess and the use of hand sanitizer (always the big boy). I always see him as such a strong little fella who is living well under difficult circumstances. It is definitely sad to realize that he understands his mortality and how others can be careless and cause something that is my nightmare everyday. He's always so happy and does so well to keep it together, but tonight he cried.

And tonight, his Momma's heart broke as I realized that the day may come that I'm not there to fix it. I have no choice but to put my child's life into the hands of others and pray they do the right thing. So if you are one of those others, please know that I trust you with every ounce of my being that I have available. I may question events, and I may question responses. I may question things before they can even happen. It's nothing against you, but, you see, I have to do this to protect him now more than ever because tonight he cried!

Anti-Cookie

I wasn't always against cookies. Quite frankly I love the things myself. What I'm against is the use of food for the holidays... all holidays. Why is it that a Valentine's party at school includes cookies? How about that end of the year party? Or the Christmas party?
Why do we reward our children with food?? Why do we celebrate with food? Is there a reasonable explanation as to why we can't have a few games, do a craft and send the kids home with a smile on their faces without cookies or juice for that matter (that's a whole other blog post in itself)?
As we get close to the end of the calendar year, we enter the Christmas season. I absolutely LOVE Christmas, but I don't love the food. From nut rolls, to peanut butter fudge to cookies, cookies and more cookies. They are evil, I tell you!!!
Some of you may think I've fallen off my rocker, but I want to take you into the day in our lives when cookies became the devil. Some of you lived it with us. Some of you will still think I'm crazy. That's okay guys. We live our lives differently because of that day. 2 years ago this week, we came a little closer than we ever dreamed of coming to losing our sweet Owen-- all because of an innocent moment. We excitedly prepared for Owen's final preschool Christmas program where he would stand in front of the room with his classmates, his friends, and sing in that adorable little off key voice we so adore. The room was packed, as it always is, and the moment came for the kids to sing their songs. It was a wonderful performance (short as always, but just the perfect length for preschoolers and their families). With a one year old (at the time), the performance ended at just the perfect time. Time to change the diaper. So, I took diaper duty and went to the bathroom to change her diaper while my hubby took the boys to get some cookies in the fellowship hall.
It seems time stood still after that. I walked into the fellowship hall to see my boys all sitting at a back table eating their cookies and laughing together. What happened next will forever be engrained in my brain. My brain registered it and reacted before I ever realized what was going on. I saw my Owen eating a cookie that traditionally has peanut butter in it. Even though the warnings were posted and the parents were reminded, I knew what I was seeing!! Wade said I became a mix between a crazy woman and a super Mom all of a sudden. I don't even remember putting the baby down or where she was during all of this. All I remember is slapping that cookie out of my child's mouth and hand and whipping out a Benedryl to shove in his mouth at the same time. I looked at Wade and said, dial 911 and immediately went to find Ms. Julia. I needed to know if I was overreacting or if this cookie had indeed contained peanut butter.
She stopped the festivities and asked who made those cookies. We verified within a matter of seconds that they did, indeed, contain peanut butter. I don't remember who stayed with Alec and Sofia, but we took Owen into the hallway to monitor him and wait for the paramedics. I know that his airway can close quickly, so I started to have him repeat his alphabet to me to keep him talking. He seemed okay, but each reaction can be different. We weren't aware of how serious it really could be, even in that moment. I remember feeling overwhelmed and held at the same time. The staff (who were probably the ones watching the other kids, truth be known) were wonderful and so very helpful. The paramedics arrived to tell us that while his heart rate was elevated, all of his other vitals were fine. They recommended we watch him and said the best thing would be for him to vomit to get it out of his system. If only we knew...... If only they knew........
Within 5 minutes of them leaving, Owen vomited, which was the worst thing that could have happened (we found that out later). It was yet another sign of anaphylactic shock that we were not aware of. He suddenly seemed worse. Rather than call the paramedics again, we opted to stop at the neighborhood fire station prior to going home. The other station's paramedics said he would be fine, but we couldn't shake that feeling that something was just wrong about the whole thing.
We stopped and were told the exact same thing. His heart rate was elevated but the rest of his vitals were fine. Take him home so he can rest and monitor him closely. We knew we were in for a long night. I know Wade called someone when Owen and I were in the station house to prepare them should we have to go to the hospital (I can't remember who it was to be honest). We went home and Owen complained of being hot (another sign we weren't aware of). I stripped him and sat with him on the sofa. Wade kept looking at us, and I could tell he was really worried. I looked at Owen at one point and realized he was so covered in hives that I didn't have a clue where one began and another ended. It was time to go to the hospital. We found out once it was all said and done that Owen's body reacted from the inside out. His organs were attacked first. We hadn't given him his epipen because we were under the assumption that if we could avoid that it would be better for Owen. We were wrong.. so very wrong. We now know the process is to shoot him first, give him Benedryl and call 911. We know that we insist he goes to the hospital every single time because we can't tell what is happening on the inside. He could have died that night. He doesn't remember a lot from being at the hospital, but he does remember that darn cookie!

So this story brings me to my original thoughts. Cookies, they are evil for our house. They scare all of us. Owen is scared to the point of panic attacks lately. I try to be easy going, but I tend to be quite high strung as a general rule. The next few weeks, we have our first experience back at the same preschool with the cookies. Nothing against the staff or the school, but we are opting out this year. We aren't ready to face those memories or take that chance again. But the cookie exchange for dance and the Christmas party at school still loom on the horizon. The cookies for the school party aren't going to be acceptable, so I am working with our awesome friend and PTA President Cherie to come up with a solution. I also have an open dialog with his dance instructor and the owner of the studio regarding that one.  I end this with my questions. The ones I know Mom's all over the country have to ask every single day... the ones that I've been battling with for the past 6 years of his 7 year life.. the ones that weigh heavily on my heart each day as I pray I see him again at the end of the day healthy and safe.
I want to know why I have to do this? Why is it that my "special needs" child is an after thought? Why is it that our society accepts celebrating EVERYTHING with food? Why can't we just accept the comment, there is no food being brought in for this celebration and be done with it? Why can't we just understand it's someone's life on the line when we don't change our habits? Why does it have to be my son?

Creative Lies

"Mom, how many times did you lie to me to protect my heart?" Wow, a question I didn't plan or expect to hear tonight.
But let's step back a moment to help you understand. Daddy is visiting with friends this evening, so it was just me and the kids for dinner. Rather than cook, I decided to eat dinner out, but we couldn't decide. After driving a short distance down the road to have the boys arguing back and forth between Taco Bell and Fazzoli's, I had had enough yelling. I stopped the van on the side of the road and after a few seconds, I asked Sofia. She kept telling us she wanted to go to Emily's. I could not for the life of me figure out what in the world she was talking about. After a few minutes, she said that Emily would make her a sandwich, a pink sandwich because that is, she said her favorite color.
So now we knew she wanted a pink sandwich made by Emily. I was lost. Finally I heard her say, she makes one for Little Bear, Momma. I know she would make one just for me. There we had it. Emily, from Little Bear was who we had to find. So I asked if Emily would make him a burger, but she said that's not what she does. She makes turkey Momma.
So, that is where my creative lie came from. I found that first of all, my boys are not equal liars (which is good to remember for when they are teenagers). I also found them eager to not hurt their sister's heart by telling her that it was impossible for Emily to make her a sandwich. And that is the tale we began to weave as I turned our direction and headed for Arby's. Suddenly, Arby's was Emily's restaurant, and she makes special sandwiches for people all over Grove City. She would be more than willing to make a turkey sandwich for our dear Sofia. The boys kept feeding the lie as we went through the drive thru, from the fact that a girl took our order and that HAD to be Emily to the fella in the drive thru window was helping her out because she had to attend to business in the kitchen. It continued as we got into the house and she began to eat her sandwich. Now, you can ask anyone in the family and they will tell you that no matter what Sofia wants to eat, she won't eat it once she has it. So this elaborate lie could have been all for naught. But not to night. That child ate every last bite of that turkey and cheese sandwich (didn't touch the fries and only drank half the juice, but she ate all of the sandwich).
Alec is the one that asked me the big question. He said, it to me and winked but later he returned to the question. He wanted to know. This Momma isn't ready to fess up about the elaborate hoax we have created for Jumbo, our elf on the shelf or Santa or even the Tooth Fairy who comes to life and takes the tooth to leave a shiny gold coin. I'm just not ready to let my biggest baby grow up. I did though fess up to the lengths I would go to protect his heart. For instance, we talked about Charley. What a special family member she was. She morphed throughout the years, starting as a bug and eventually moving into a little girl who not only went to preschool with him, but came over for lengthy playdates. Charley lived at the post office, you see. My darling son has got his Momma's creativity and he insisted every time we were out that we needed to drop off Charley off at the post office. We went as far as to open the door of the van for Charley to get out. That is just one of the creative lies I have told over the years. He's catching on though. I know eventually I will have to tell him the truth about all of them, but I love that he knew it was just stories to protect their hearts. :-)

Thankfulness and Friendship

We are 8 days in the one month when everyone publicly declares they are thankful. Unfortunately, I just can't do it right now. I'm so beyond overwhelmed with the Glory of God, that I just cannot possibly select one thing to be thankful for.
So today, I want to write about friendship. You see, I have this special friend that my heart is crying for right now. I have held onto this pain for her for several months now and haven't even responded to a couple of her cries for prayers just because I wanted the right words. Remember, I am a writer. Finding those words are difficult for me. Yeah, I plug out a good 2000 words a day if need be, but I can't seem to find the right words to help heal my friend's heart. I've done what I know how to do by calling out to Jesus for those words, but as you can see, they just aren't quite there yet. But He's speaking to me right at this very moment. I feel His presence and feel His charge. He's asked me to write this blog post for her. He's asked me to share love with her that I have held back in fear.
So, while the rest of this blog will be for my beautiful, sweet friend it will help you too. God is calling me to write this. It's not me. It's Him!
Sometimes it just isn't going to make sense.
"For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." Romans 9:15

 There are a lot of things about God that are difficult to understand. This verse shows one of those things. God selects certain people for certain things. He picks and chooses among people!
Sometimes we are at the feet of Jesus begging for something we feel we need, but it seems He is not listening. Sometimes we are seeking God's Will, asking him to remove everything that hinders us from being His servant, our life is upside down. It just does not make sense! Why isn't He protecting us from bad things? Why doesn't He rain down blessings on us? I mean, haven't we been obedient? Haven't we sought after Him even in those times of biggest stress?  I think about Noah. God blessed him, right? Sometimes, like him, it makes sense. Noah was chosen because God saw that he was righteous (Genesis 7:1). Makes sense, right?
But think about it. I remember more examples in the Bible that just don't make sense when it comes to people getting what I believe they deserve.

Why would God choose Jacob over Esau?? Jacob tricked his father into blessing him by lying!! (Genesis 27:19). That makes no sense at all.

And what about Job. Wow. He certainly suffered for God to prove a point to Satan. Satan's a jerk. Why would God waste His time proving something to him?? That doesn't make sense.

The Israelites. They were tired. Tired of wandering in the wilderness. Tired of manna bread, manna burgers, manna cereal, manna, manna, manna. They complained and grumbled. God sent fiery snakes to bite them and they died (Numbers 21:4-6). WHAT? Holy cow, I've been frustrated before and am thankful that I survived that! They were just frustrated. That doesn't make sense.

Romans 9:18-21 says:
"Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.  Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will?  Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?  Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?" 

When I stop and think about it, I see where God may just have known what He was doing, at least some of the time. For instance, the grumpy, frustrated Israelites, what if the grumbling isn't all they ended up doing. What if they all decided to go back to Egypt?

I can sit around and compare my life to other people and see where I have had some really awful things happen to me, things that seem to to be truly unfair, mean or just bizarre. The more I try to be in God's Will, the more things happen, it seems.
So, I should just give up and walk away from God because sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. Right? But wait a minute, WHY haven't I gone crazy? Why  haven't I buckled under the load? I've not been squished like a bug, but why?

Despite the frustration, despite the sadness and utter uncontrol I have, God has sustained me. He is the Potter and I am the clay. Even if I can't see any good coming out of my trials, I must have faith that he knows what He is doing. Some of the trials have made me stronger, some have helped other people, and some have no results that I can see.

I doubt Job knew why God allowed all the sorrows to be heaped on him. The Bible doesn't say he knows that, so we have no reason to believe he did.

A scripture of encouragement:

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ."
2Cor 1:3-5


God WILL comfort us and help us through our trials and tribulations, my friends! At the very least, we will be able to have the strength to comfort others. Have you ever been able to minister to someone by saying, "Been there myself"? Sometimes that is the only way to reach out to someone.

Jesus suffered. Why do we think we are so better than He that we shouldn't??

So when the trials get heavier than you think you can hold, remember that God will keep you from being crushed completely flat. When you look back you will see His hand was there all along, holding you up.

My love goes out to my Sister in Christ. I hope this brings some encouragement to you to know that you are not alone in this and while it is easy for some to say it shall pass, I can say, I've been there Sister! You will not be crushed, so hold tight to the One who is always there for you, holding you up and loving you strong!

He made me cry

Let's start off in the beginning. 10 years ago Saturday, I fell in love all over again. With my sweet husband you ask? No, with the incredible sunshine in my life... my beautiful baby boy. After two years of battling with infertility and trying to ignore doctors who kept saying I would never have a baby, The Lord blessed me with the most incredible gift any woman could ask for. He made me a Mommy.
Each year, my son grows up more and more and shows me the continued blessing of being his Mom. I remember holding him in my arms as he slept (I know you aren't supposed to do that, but he isn't any worse for the wear!) and just praying over him for his safety and his life in general. I remember his first little smile and those first sweet little words (both in sign language and spoken). I remember those first little staggered steps and dancing to Brittney Spears on tv as he leaned on the ottoman. (I think I even have video of that one ;-) I remember crying on his first day of preschool and his first day of Kindergarten. I remember thinking just this year as school started that next year he will be in a different school.
All of these moments are always precious, but the moment I had with him last night will bring tears to my eyes forever. It was bedtime, and he went to his room to get ready. I went down to tuck him in (it's normally Wade who does that, so this was just different). When I reached the bottom of the steps, I realized that not only did he leave all the lights on, but he wasn't in his bed. When he heard me, he flew for the bed and tried to pretend he hadn't been crying. I walked in and asked him what was going on and his response will be with me forever. (fighting the tears to type this as it is one to keep and treasure) "I was talking to God, Mom. I was praying because I realized that I only have 8 more years." Those are the words that will forever stick with me- I only have 8 more years. I encouraged him to explain what he was talking about. He said he only has 8 more years before leaving for college and that meant only 8 more years with us as a family as it is today, only 8 more years of being my little boy. That was what was worrying my little fella. My sweet 10 year old could only think of the fact that in 8 years, he wouldn't be my baby anymore. I held him in my arms and told him he's becoming the best young man that God intended him to be and how very proud I am that when he was worried about it, the one thing he did was turn to God! I told him that I don't care how old he is, because he will always be my Sunshine and will always be my baby. I held him in my arms as if he were suddenly a newborn again, only this time I fought the tears. I was a strong Mom because that is just what my precious baby needed at that time. It seemed like an eternity that he let me hold him, and I just can't help but be emotional about it today as I think about how sad it must be to realize that one day you will no longer be a child. I don't remember it hitting me like that, but I do remember the day I realized I was the adult making the decisions.
Today, I pray for my baby, because he will always be my baby. And I pray that in his growth, he never forget the lessons of childhood that are clearly sinking in and that in times that are tough, he always turn to God, our Lord and Savior who has shown me blessings much more than I truly deserve! (And yes, I broke into tears after leaving that child's room- I'm human you know ;-)

Lessons from John the Baptist

I have spent this entire week engrossed in studying the book of John for our junior high youth group. I am not teaching it, but I am assisting and hoping to bring more to the table for these awesome young men and women. As I sat here reading and thinking about John the Baptist, one thing stuck into my head. This is the man who baptized Our Lord and Savior! Seriously. How did that moment feel? I would truly love to have been a fly on the water's edge listening to that interchange.
Think about this. You are submerged and baptized in the Holy Spirit, but Jesus IS the Holy Spirit. So, how did that go? Did John stumble on his words? Your pastor always says, 'I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."
What were John's words? Did he say, I baptize you in ... um.. in.. you? hee hee. Not only is that a something that sticks out in my crazy brain, but imagine the overwhelming feeling of the Holy Spirit in that very moment. I get chill bumps thinking about it! The Bible says that as Jesus came up out of the water, heaven opened, and the Spirit of God, like a dove, descended upon him. Witnesses to the baptism heard a voice from heaven saying, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." The presence of God was right there. The Holy Spirit came down upon Jesus. That feeling had to be so powerful, so incredibly overwhelming and beautiful.
And John had devoted his entire life to preparing for the arrival of Jesus. He was a sight to look upon, I'm sure. He was like that fella in Peoria, IL where we used to live that they called Crazy Willie. He would come through and rant and rave and consistently point to Christ. Like a signpost pointing to The Father. He had focused all of his energy toward this very moment. While he was obedient, the very first thing that Jesus asked him to do made him pause. He resisted and felt unqualified.
My reflection then comes to myself. I love to work with the youth in my church. The little preschoolers on Sunday mornings where we get to have a ton of fun and learn the Bible basics! The older kids now in the evenings where I hope to see Jesus working miracles through their very lives. How qualified am I? Do you ever feel like that? Do you feel unqualified to fulfill your mission from God? John felt that he was even unworthy to unfasten the shoes of Jesus. Yet in Luke 7:28, Jesus called John the greatest of all prophets. My passion to work with children is important, and I pray Sunday that the kids hear the lesson and understand that despite how inadequate they may feel, how inadequate we all may feel, those feelings should never hold us back from our God appointed mission.
You never know who you are going to meet or what they are going to see when they look at you. You may be the only Bible people see. You may be the only Jesus people see. What are they seeing in you?

Keep your chin up

I learned a very valuable lesson this month. How do you keep positive despite obstacles trying to knock you down? How do you just keep moving? As many of you know, I absolutely love the Mercy Me song "Move." It has been a great motivator for me since it came out and is keeps me moving in all walks of life.
But motivation hasn't come easy when I got my first cold of the season. What's a little cold you ask? It's a 2 weeks of can't do anything is what it is! This cold has been going around, and it most certainly takes away your get up and go! I don't know that I've had a simple cold hang on so terribly long. Started with the sinuses draining and eventually moved into the chest. I still have the nagging cough, but I was able to walk the boys from the parking lot today to the school building without getting out of breath. I call that serious progress. :-)
So, when I realized it's the last day of the month, so I  have to take my measurements, I cringed at the idea of stepping on the scale that I was trying to avoid all month. And almost came to tears at the idea of putting a measuring tape anywhere near me. My Beachbody coach, Mary, has been awesomely telling me to remember this isn't a 90 day change, it's a lifestyle change. And she encourages me that despite two weeks of not being able to workout, I can still keep plugging away.
How easy would it be to quit right now? How easy would it be to step back into my old routines and forget that I have an ultimate goal that I am working towards that could take a year or more to reach? VERY. Which is why I decided to step on that scale and why I decided, through my tears, to measure anyway. I didn't lose any weight this month. I anticipated that as eating out became a better option the past few weeks when we weren't feeling well and none of us had the energy to lift a finger, let alone a pan. But I decided I had to measure anyhow. It's my commitment to Beachbody to measure and check in. So I took that measuring tape and put it in the places to measure. First my right arm, then my left. Around my chest, my waist and  hips. Then the thighs. I wrote down each and every number not having a clue if they were an improvement or backslide. I had a hard time writing the numbers down because I was seriously crying. I'm an emotional soul anyhow, but the fact that I hadn't lost any weight really weighed heavily on me (excuse the pun).
I brought my numbers into the office space and sat down to my computer feeling as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. After bringing up my numbers in Beachbody, I just stared at the computer. And stared for quite sometime. Owen even asked me if I was okay. I couldn't believe my eyes.
It said I lost an inch around my waist and TWO on my hips!! Seriously, I went back into the bedroom and measured again. I just didn't believe it. I know what I ate; I know what bad habits I had started back up on. I knew I had taken the easy way out! So, the results for day 60 is that I have now lost a total of 2 1/2 inches from my waist, 3 1/2 inches from my hips. I've lost approximately 3% body fat and my arms have been reduced by 2 inches. I lost 3 inches from my chest. The shock of it all for me is the fact that despite not losing any weight, I still lost everywhere else (besides those stupid thighs which I think I might be measuring wrong).
So this morning on my way back from taking the boys to school, I had a heart to heart with the Lord. I promised him that I wasn't going to beat myself up about September. This isn't a 90 day commitment, as beautiful Mary Smith would say. This is my life and the life of my family. This is a lifestyle change, and there is no cheesecake out there good enough to make up for the incredible feeling I get after a great workout!
My lesson today, my friends, is that if you feel like taking the easy way instead of the right way, talk yourself out of it. The rewards on the other side are so much brighter and so much better. If you see me out and eating something I shouldn't, please ask me about it. It might be a special treat, but it might be me slipping. If you see me out, ask me about my workout for the day. October 1st starts a new day, so Kenpo will be calling my name despite the busy day ahead of us. And if all works out the way it is supposed to, I might be able to squeeze in a yoga just to get these muscles moving again today!
Keep your chin up friends as I can see a brighter and better view on the horizon and it is really beautiful!
Want to share my motivation with you... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EuV5goIkb0&feature=related

Weepy

Today, I find myself weepy and incurably sad. I, like so many, oftentimes find myself stressing over things that are absolutely beyond any control that I might have. And while I know how to stop it, I fall short and do not. I know that God is in control and whatever He has planned to happen will, but in my egotistical mind, I believe I can take care of it and control it and prevent negative things from happening. WOW! I'm glad I don't really have that much control or it would really drive me insane!

This weekend is a huge mark in the independence of our sweet Owen. Our little peanut allergy kid that I have sheltered for so many years will be going off on his first camp out as a cub scout (now he has gone with Alec, but not as a scout- just a brother- and I was there). I'm not going. I don't think my heart could handle it. His Daddy, who is also his Den Leader, will be going with him. And we are already praying for God's control... they are serving snacks that include nuts. Cookies that have nuts and actual nuts as snacks on both Friday and Saturday night. I won't sleep a wink, I am sure. I will be awaiting that horrid call as I do every day when I drop him off at school. And while I know God is taking care of him, I just can't let go. I can't let that be it, and it's all because I'm the Mommy.

But the part that I think has me so darn weepy today is that I realized this morning that I've done my job. I've taught him how to live in a peanut world. I know that I have been working to that end since he was 12 months and diagnosed with a life-threatening food allergy. I know that I have been diligent in stressing to him how important it is to avoid those situations that could be dangerous to him without vocally calling himself or his classmates out. I know that I've taught others to be tolerant around him and him to be tolerant of those who just don't get it. And my job certainly doesn't stop here at the wise old age of almost 7 ;-) But today he showed me that my lessons are in there, and he understands the danger involved in other people's daily living. He told me this morning that he asked the teacher in charge in the lunchroom yesterday if he could go to the front of the lunch line for going out. She did ask for an explanation. His words to me... "Mommy, I just told her that I have been thinking and it isn't safe for me to be in line with other kids that might have had peanuts or peanut butter in their lunches. We don't clean our hands until after we are out of the gym. What if they touch me? It's dangerous, and I don't want to be in that situation." Yes, he used those big words and suddenly I realized that while I have a little first grader, I also have a big boy who has learned how to protect himself and how to think independently. And, that quite possibly, might be the death of me ;-) I've lived his entire life protecting him from those things he couldn't protect himself from. But as he grows up and matures, I see that Wade and I have instilled in him a lesson of survival. He is gonna be just fine this weekend. I know that! But I'm still the Mommy, so I will still worry and I will still fret after him cause that's my job!
Everyday we say, I can't believe they are growing up. Each and every one of them. Letting go is so very difficult, but for a food allergy Mom, letting go means so much more. I ask for prayers as I come to realize it's all in God's hands, and I'm doing my job. He is a big boy, Kim! He can handle it himself. Hard words for this Mom to accept.

Lessons in the PortAPotty

"I learned something new today," said "Jeff," the man at the football practice. "Ethan taught me that that thing in the Port A Potty is a urinal."
Laughter erupted from his girlfriend (and almost from the poor lady eavesdropping next to them).
"I know. At 33 and I just now learn that," he said. "Ethan started to pee in it, and I asked him what he was doing!" That is when this sweet little 6 year-old boy (and I mean that, he is a cute fella) looked at that great big man and taught him that there is a urinal in the port a potty.
"What did you think it was?" his girlfriend asked.
 Through all the laughing, the poor lady didn't have a chance at hearing the answer. And when I say all the laughing, it was from that poor lady, ME. I just lost it and the three of us had an interesting conversation and laughter that followed. I joked about him ending up on my blog and really didn't plan to write anything about it, but I got to thinking. Many of you know how I am when I am thinking. hee hee.
How many of us go through our day and don't learn something? Do you really have a day where you are truly a know it all and didn't learn a lesson? As I sat here thinking this morning about writing, I wondered what it was that I learned yesterday..a valuable lesson indeed. My daughter is absolutely heartbroken over the fact that she is "too little" to do certain things, such as dance. Yes, that is my lesson. I learned that those real tears are showing her heartbreak. And when you say, duh, Kim, I say to you, how was I not to know that it wasn't just her throwing a normal 2 year old fit? Seriously, how many times have I not payed attention to the sadness she is showing because I've written it off as a normal temper tantrum. How did I miss that she is the "baby" of the family and gets treated as such more often than not? My big girl is growing up, and mighty fast, but how many times in a day is she hearing the phrase "you're too little to do this or that?" So my lesson is that while she is little, she is a big girl at heart and her needs to be addressed just the same. So excited to see what new I learn today!
The lesson from the Port A Potty that I am sending today is to pay attention to what we are being taught each day. You never know when you might actually learn something new, like the port a potty actually has a urinal.

Alcohol

Someone is going to take this blog post wrong. Someone is going to be offended by my words. Someone is going to feel like I am attacking them by even writing this. Someone is going to like what I write. Someone is going to be encouraged by my words. Every person takes everything different. I cannot control how others interpret what I'm writing, nor can I control how others interpret my actions. I cannot control the fact that I will be judged by others. What I can control is how I react. This blog is about that.
Let's talk about drinking. Some of you will stop reading this right now. I am sorry if you choose to do that, because I do have some valid points that I believe will shed light on my family and our thoughts regarding the subject. The Bible says so many things about so many different subjects. Drinking alcoholic beverages is one of them. There is a debate about the question.
Is it wrong to drink wine? Beer? What does the Bible say? Let's take a look......
The scripture in Proverbs 20 says warns that wine and strong drink can be bad to a man (woman to). It can cause raging and brawling and doing things in a drunken stupor that are unwise and regrettable. So what should our position as Christians be since we know that drunkenness can cause sorrows and troubles? We know that alcoholism is responsible for many broken homes for various reasons. Many deaths on our highways are caused by drinking and driving. Alcoholism has become a very costly drug addiction problem. So I say the answer is yes and no. Drunkenness is a very evil sin that hurts everyone, including our entire nation. The Bible does say that all drunkards who do not repent will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I believe the answer to this question is that the wine (or beer) itself is not sinful, because sin is in the heart of man and does not exist in any object of itself. It is the drunkenness and intoxication that comes about when a man drinks too much that causes him sin. The Bible teaches discipline and moderation; even eating too much food is a sin and is called the sin of gluttony in the Bible.


So, let's get to the point of my post. I absolutely adore my husband, and I absolutely adore all of my friends. That's why you are my friends. The one thing that frustrates me is those who have chosen to judge when it is not their place. (that is another blog post in itself). I write this post tonight because unkind words were said that were pointed straight at my family and our beliefs. It does not bother me that those words were said. We all have a right to our opinion. My husband and I took the opportunity to speak to our children about sin and what the Bible teaches us about moderation. Is it okay to drink alcoholic beverages? Jesus did, and I believe it is okay. It's in the scripture. Did he get drunk and stupid? Not that I have seen. Moderation. Drinking is not a sin. It is an action that in excess can cause sin because it is already in the heart of the one drinking.
Am I in any way encouraging someone to drink?? NO! My actions, the actions of my family and my words are not in any way an encouragement to my brothers in Christ to do something they know is wrong for them. What I am saying is that the action itself of drinking is not the sin. If I choose to have a glass of wine with my dinner or after dinner, that is my choice... one that Christ gave me the liberty to decide. Please do not judge me. It is not your place.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the liberty we have in Christ. Help us not to judge one another in regard to the issue of drinking a little wine, but rather to be honest before You as to the issue in our own hearts in this regard. May we be a good witness before those in the world. When we make our choices in this life, may they be pleasing to You and show love to those around us.  You told us the highest law is the law of love.  We are first to love You, and then, to love one another.  May we do this in word and deed.  Keep us from temptation and sin and let our actions prove to the world that we are true Christians. Deliver those who are addicted to alcohol and who are in this snare of the devil. I ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Amen.   

30 days

I have made it 30 days into the p90x program injury free. ;-) For those of you that know me, you know that is a giant feat in itself. I've done more push ups than I ever did in my entire life. I've increased my protein and decreased my sweets. Could I have eaten better throughout the 30 days? Yup. Could I have worked out harder throughout the 30 days? Yup. Could I have just done a better job overall? I am absolutely sure. But the could be's aren't what I'm focused on today. Today, I focus on the awesomeness of achievement. The achievement of goals and achievement that will move me on for the next 30 days and beyond.
Today, I sit here typing, 10.2 pounds lighter. I sit here typing after taking 1 1/2 inches off both my waist and hips. I sit here typing after cutting out 1 inch from one and another inch and a half of arm fat from those arms (we all know what I think about that). My goals are achieved and they will be surpassed. I share this with you to ask for further encouragement. I will keep you accountable, and ask that you do the same. Let's move forward on this journey thinking of it as an adventure. I look forward to the next 30 days! I hope you do too.

B-Day

Okay, so you all saw my I WILL list from the other day. If not, feel free to click on it to go take a look.
Well, I'm excited to say that Number 13 is improving. I've been doing laundry quite a bit and hope it's taking a bit off of my husband's duties. But that's not what this post is all about. :( I have to say that I've been quite nauseous lately, and I know it's not about getting sick or anything like that. It's about the dreaded Number 15. Conquer my fear of heights. My sweet friend Gill immediately called me out on it knowing it would be one of the biggest challenges for me from my list. She challenged me to go up in a hot air balloon (tethered because if you think I'm going to step into a basket and go up up up and away, you are out of your minds!). What would going 20 feet into the air do for my fear? Well, it will either set me over the edge or it will be beautiful. Since I've had more intestinal issues this week than ever in the past, I'm thinking it might set me over the edge. I've allowed myself to get completely and utterly worked up from crying spells to migraines to just about anything you can think of. I keep looking at my list and thinking maybe I should focus on this one instead. I have been trying to figure out how to get out of it. I could easily use different things about this coming up and this coming up as an excuse, but I told myself I would not fail. I have been trying "baby steps" since she proposed this "flight." I even put a ladder up at my Dad's house and climbed up 3 steps to get something off the building for him. I didn't cry. I shook like heck, but I didn't cry.
Today is B-day!! Grove City is holding their annual Balloons and Tunes event this weekend, and tonight fits into our schedule better. So my friend Gill and I are going into a tethered hot air balloon. I'm typing this and feeling my stomach start to churn at just the thought. I asked for prayers from my friends at Bible study to find that I'm not alone, but that it would appear I am being irrational. WHAT? ME? NEVER. ;-) So, I thought, if I'm being so irrational, I'm sure there is something in the Bible. That is where I turned Wednesday and yesterday and yet again today... to find something in the Bible to encourage me, to scold me, to lift me up (excuse the pun- or not that's up to you). This is a little of what I came up with...
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. 
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 
So last night I had a dream. I believe God came to me in the night to bring me these last two verses that I found this morning. I dreamed of my balloon ride. I saw God hold my hand to help me into the basket and then as I went into the air, I saw a giant hand underneath the basket. There were others with me, but no faces at all (which I found odd). I think that was to have me focus on what message I was actually getting. I had immersed myself into the one thing I knew would bring me comfort, the Word and found that to bring me comfort. I'm am feeling quite positive right now about what lies ahead, but I'm still nervous. Tonight, I'm going to experience the opportunity to see God's Glory, to see more of what God has given us through his beauty. I will continue to pray, but I am getting a little excited and know that God will be with me every step of my way.
PS If you hear news of a balloon crashing in Grove City, please pray for me. ;-) hee hee.

Too Fast

They grow up so fast.. too fast. How many times in our lives did we hear that phrase referring to us and yet we didn't think much of it. Now that I have children, it is all too familiar  how fast they are truly growing up. It feels like my oldest was just a baby, but now he is starting 4th grade. And my little talker is going to be in first grade. And the baby, well she's no longer a baby, nor a toddler. She's a preschooler. A real preschooler. We are out of the crib and done with the passy. We are almost through with diapers and sippy cups and oh my!!
It can all be so overwhelming to know that our time with our children is fading fast. It makes me think about what they will take from their childhood. Will they remember how much they are loved? Will they remember the important lessons in life we are trying to pass on? Will they remember the day they got yelled at when they made a mess in their bedroom? Or the death of their most cherished and precious pet? Or how fun it was to walk across the street to visit Grammy and Pappy? Or the fun family dates? So many memories we try to cram into every day for our children that we hope they remember and love.....
From my childhood, I don't have a lot of specific memories from the ages that my children currently are. I remember trips to my Great Grandparent's home for Sunday dinners before they passed. The whole family would be there. I remember the Christmas that Uncle John read the name wrong on the tag and I got my cousin Kevin's gift instead of mine - a pair of shoes that were totally boys. ;-) I remember going to church with Grandma Hawkins and Aunt Esta when I stayed up there. I remember making ice cream the truly old fashioned way with Grandpa and having to crank it if I wanted it. I remember going "hunting" with Daddy (I wasn't allowed to really hunt that young, but he was always willing to take me into the woods and never lost me). I remember playing ball with the boys and then the girls. I remember going to church with Grandma Perkins and sitting in the third row from the back on the inside part of the aisle. I remember staying up late talking with Sandy and getting hollered at to be quiet up there ;-) I remember the death of my great grandmother, then great grandfather, then precious cousin. I remember the Funkhousers coming over to play cards with Mom and Dad and the kids all playing in the other room. I remember spending New Year's Eve every year with my Aunt Sonia and Uncle Dave and Kimmie and Michael and wishing I could be just like Kimmie when I was a big girl ;-)
Do I remember every trip? Every moment, no. But I do have cherished memories. I do remember more than I might have thought I would, and I do remember being in trouble from time to time. But I don't remember specific times. So when my children are being rowdy and getting in trouble, I am okay about that because I know they won't necessarily remember the details, just the lesson learned.
So today, I hug my precious preschooler a little tighter because she doesn't start school for a few more weeks. And I hold my great big 1st grader and talk about his "homework" he has assigned before the start of the year. And when my great great big 4th grader comes home, I can't wait to hear about his first day of Safety Patrol and school, his class and recess and lunch and gym and everything he thinks is important. Because despite the fact that the details will go away one day, today they make all the difference. Today, they make memories that come with feelings; it's those feelings that will last a lifetime. I want my children to remember that Mom took time. Despite the hectic schedules starting. Despite the pounding headaches (fighting one right now). Despite the fact that there is a stack of work piling up. My children are number one and that will last a lifetime!

Arm Fat

Yup. I'm going there. I'm going to the friendliest, meanest, ugliest fat on a person's body... the arm fat. For those of you who have been blessed to never have had it, congratulations and bite me. ;-) I still love you, but I think everyone should have to deal with arm fat at least once in their life to just KNOW what it's like. Just like the pregnant suits some men decide are cool to wear to help them know what it's like to be pregnant for their wives, they should make arm fat suits.
The plight of a woman with arm fat is one that is very disturbing. Sleeveless shirts are not flattering no matter what your girlfriends are saying! Sundresses? Seriously! You know better, Ladies. This friendly fat tends to do things that are appalling and mean just to spite you. This is the fat that decides they would like to be friendly and wave before you even have the chance to get your arm all the way up. And if you listened to that mean friend that told you that sleeveless shirt or sundress looked good on you, it's CLEARLY waving before you!!!
This is the fat that makes buying shirts to go over that part of your arm difficult. There are times it really needs a zip code of its own! If you are being brave or just not caring one day (I'm on one of those days with a tank top on- doesn't look good, but I DON"T CARE. It's comfortable), you know someone is going to stare at your arm fat at least once that day. I'm prepared for it. I was thinking this morning as I got dressed about where all I am going and how many people do I think will stare at the fat that is on my arm just before the armpit. Please don't make me post a picture, people, you know what I'm talking about. It's like an accident. You don't want to look, but you are drawn to it. It's like the uni-brow. You REALLY don't want to look, but you HAVE to!!!!!
People, I know I'm using a lot of exclamation points here, but this is serious business!!!! Arm fat is the devil himself trying to ruin this society! And if you ask a trainer, you can't spot reduce, so you are stuck with this fat no matter how darn hard you work out. There is no way you are going to get rid of it. OR IS THERE?
I am here to say, I'm doing it. This is probably why I talked myself into the tank top today. I noticed last night that my arm fat has reduced. I didn't measure my arms or anything like that. I just noticed when I flung my arm up, it didn't jiggle as much. The jello attached to my arm does not look as prominent. What? Is it really possible? I believe so. I cannot explain the science about it (might want to ask my friend Zach about that), but I can explain the happy lady emotion that comes out when I see it is getting smaller.
I don't like the arm fat. Never have; never will. I feel bad for other ladies (and men, cause there are men out there with this as well) who are overweight, but I truly feel for those of you, who like me, have suffered from the devil's attack on our arms. I say we unite. Stick our fat arms in the air and charge ahead jiggling all the way!!!!
Keep moving friends. It's starting to show ;-)

I WILL

So over the past few weeks, you have probably be following my journey into better health. Where there once was an uncertain person, now, proudly stands a confident, determined woman. Two weeks ago, I started writing a list. I called it my want list for the next year, but realized that want was not strong enough to keep me moving. So I changed it to my I will list. The empowering feeling that came with this list is incredible and one that I would encourage each of you to do.
What better way to move forward than to share with those who love me and do not judge here, publicly. What a way to keep me accountable (you might notice I like that word). So, today I post the "I WILL List of 2011-2012." There will be updates as I am able to mark off this list.

I WILL.....
1. Make it routine to wake up early to start my day in a positive way.
2. Workout everyday.
3. Strive to eat healthier each day.
4. Be a better example to my children in all aspects of my life.
5. Be a great Christian wife.
6. Be a better Christian.
7. Read one new book a month.
8. Cook dinner more days a week than we eat out.
9. Be my husband and children's biggest (not physically) cheerleader.
10. Stay on budget.
11. Race my children to the swing set without gasping for breath.
12. Participate in a half marathon.
13. Help my husband with the laundry more frequently than I currently do.
14. Organize my life.
15. Conquer my fear of heights.
16. Write something creative EVERY day.
17. Turn off the tv more often.
18. Make myself a priority.
19. Control my temper despite the situation.
20. Slow dance with my husband - stipulation that he has to comfortably put his hands around my waist again.

The woman in the mirror

3 months ago, I looked in the mirror and was shocked. It wasn't that I hadn't looked in the mirror before, but I had never really seen who was looking back at me. The reality of the moment hit me this morning as I REALLY looked in the mirror. You see, these past few months have been quite a learning experience for me for my ability to not only change my circumstances but my entire life for that matter. And I have to say, I've started on a pretty tough but awesome road!
Now don't get me wrong. I'm so not vain, but sometimes you have to just notice. I hadn't noticed. Seriously. I saw a friend of mine out at the store yesterday, and she commented on how great I looked. I just did my awkward giggle and thanked her but didn't feel it. Sorry to say that Ms. Heidi, but I didn't. I thought, Man, she needs her glasses checked. hee hee. But this morning I decided I wanted to see myself through her eyes, cause that's enough motivation to keep getting up at 5 am and plugging away. But rather than pretending she's actually saying something true or just being nice, I thought I would really look. And guess what I found? She's right. There is a change!
Three months ago, I looked in the mirror and thought, eww. What have I done? but today, that is not the case. I looked in the mirror today and saw a sweaty fat chick and thought, you go girl! Then I really looked. I mean really looked. I suddenly realized I saw leaner shoulders and neck. I saw that my belly was just slightly smaller. And then looked and saw, I got some rockin calves starting there. ;-) I noticed a shine in my eyes that I haven't seen in awhile. Then I noticed something huge!! I noticed..... Wait for it.  I noticed a smile! I real genuine smile.
 The change is not drastic, but that's fine. It will be. When it's all said and done, this isn't about losing weight at a rapid pace. This isn't about getting smaller, only to gain it back. This is my life, and this is a permanent change. So this morning, the woman in the mirror smiled back. I can't wait to see what she looks like next week ;-)

Beat me Down

Dear Devil,
I am so truly sorry that you thought you were going to win. You messed up my computer. You attacked the coolants in our house (fridge and air). I feel you trying to work on me and my body. I feel you trying to come back into my eating habits and causing me pain in my ankle that I haven't felt in months.
You may bring me to tears!! You may make my blood boil. But do you not realize that I have more power on my side than you could ever bring?! Do you not realize that THE Holy Spirit lives INSIDE me!! THE Holy Spirit!! Seriously, I'm talking to you. You will NOT hold me down. You will NOT discourage me. You will NOT defeat me!!!
Because I am the child of the Living Savior. I am protected and you have no rights here.
So I leave you with this Satan, I trust my Lord. I know He's holding me up right now. I know He has defeated you and will continue to defeat you time after time after time after time. This is one battle you better give up cause this lady, I'm a Princess of the Lord, Jesus Christ and I'm no quitter!!!

Positivity

To coin a phrase, this is one a friend of mine used so much we couldn't help but pick up on it. I choose to be positive this morning. I want to share a moment of fitness with you.
First of all, for those friends of mine who are happy as couch potatoes, I love you, but you need to get up and move with me. Trust me when I say you will feel so much better!! Secondly, if you are tired of hearing me say that, then what have you got to lose other than me saying it all the time? ;-)
So last night was a lifting night in the Lunsford house. I opted to wait on my workout and do it with Wade. Shoulders & Arms, Ab Ripper X. Not like I can move my arms as it is much after MONDAY'S workout. hee hee. So it was hard which makes it awesome. Get done with the lifting part, and it's time for the Abs. In the past, I have observed these much more than participated but was determined to make Tony Horton proud. Started off strong doing 20 out of 25 of the first one. Then came the bicycles. Did great until they were reversed. That action messes with my head. Kept going pretty darn strong and could have stopped there a happy lady. Did I do the over 300 abdominal exercises on the DVD. Heck no! If I could do that, I wouldn't have so much weight to lose! hee hee.
but the next few moments are the special ones. Sofia and Alec came in. Alec was like, you can do it Mom. Sofia stood over me repeating, "Just one more, Momma. One more." with her little finger in the air. And guess what! That one more went from one to two and three. I did do more, and it was that princess monkeypants of mine standing over me like a sweet drill sergeant (oxymoron, I know). Then, when it was all over, Alec looked at me and said, "Great job, Mom. I'm proud of you."
Heck with Tony Horton! Sorry, I adore you, but my Sunshine said he was proud of me. That, is priceless!!!

89

That is a magic number for me right now. What, pray tell, am I talking about? Push ups. No joke, Ladies and Gents. I did 89 push ups this morning!!!!!!! That's not counting my additional pull ups (I use bands) or abdominal work. I'm mush right now to be honest, but I feel so good.
Those of you who know me from grade school or high school know I don't do push ups. I was the one in high school that would watch for Ms. Spangler to turn her back so I could stop. Seriously, that was me. And I really wasn't all that fat back then. Well, not compared to now. I did modify what I did, but they were real floor push ups (just with my knees down) and as I write this run-on sentence, I am so darn proud. I cried on the last set. Because it hurt? Well, that could be answered yes, but that's not it. I cried because this fat chick did it!!!!
Six months ago I couldn't have imagined this. Six months ago, I was content to just keep the way I was going. What changed? It's always hard to say. For the first time, I'm not making excuses. And I'm not GOING to make excuses. 89 Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's see how much I can improve over the next 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. FOREVER!!!!

Not supposed to Laugh

"You're not going to be the best man at my wedding!"

Seriously? That is what a 9 year old yells to his 6 year old brother when he's mad! I know I'm not supposed to laugh at that, but typing this is the only thing that is keeping me from one of those LOL gut-wrenching laughs. They are cleaning up the corner of my office where they keep toys in order to go out front to play on their wheels. They don't clean well together. We've tried it before and always have to separate them. They just have different opinions of what clean means. But this moment cracked me up. An area that should take them 5 minutes to clean up has now taken 20 and ended in tears from both and that outburst from my oldest.
It has me wondering what kind of hateful things my sister and I once said to each other. I seriously don't remember. I'm sure my Mom can tell me, but I prefer to remember things as just random fights without any details. I hope my boys don't remember this either. But I will. And when Alec asks Owen to be his best man (or at least I hope he does) I will remember this and smile.

Delayed, but not Failed

I refuse to use the word failed at this point because, in truth, I haven't failed anything. You, my friends are about to go on a journey with me though.
As many of you know, I had a complex sprain to my wrist at the beginning of a life changing workout program. I saw such promise and hope for the good things to come. I got a taste of the Glory of God in reward for my hard work. Then my setback. In the 4 short weeks of doing p90x, I lost 18 pounds and gained more confidence than I've had in years. I was no longer suffering from insomnia, I no longer felt ankle pain and I had more energy than I've had in years. I suddenly had a desire to do things with my children and the drive to actually get out and do it.
Did I have a setback with my injury? Sort of. But I let myself get worked up and off track. I did gain a few of the pounds back, but am only currently standing at five pounds up from that. So, I can proudly say that in my 4 weeks and subsequent about 7 weeks I have lost 13 pounds and have a renewed strength to keep going.
So, my new journey that you will be going with me starts officially August 1st with a new weigh in and measurements as well as pictures (debating when those will be posted ;-). I will be blogging my journey and my commitment to life change that I welcome you to  join me in. Is this particular workout for everyone? Nope, but I hope I am able to challenge those of you who wish to walk this walk with me to do bigger and better things and at least start moving. You are worth it and so am I. Believe it!

Truth!!!

This evening, I got angry and I have to say, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Especially when it is something that attacks God!! Listen here folks! I am here to say that your lies are not ones that I nor my children will follow. I am here for the truth. Jesus was born. He died and He rose again for US. To save us from our sins from your lies and your hate. You cannot affect me and I will fight to the death for my children's souls.
Whew. Okay. So sorry my friends, but I am really angry. We were watching what grandpa would call the squawk box tonight and thought we would catch the new game show, "It's Worth What?" Good show until the producers angered me. One of the items was from like 1500 B.C.E. Wade and I looked at each and were like huh? Alec said it was Before Christ Existed, which I thought was totally sweet. I looked it up, and my blood started boiling.
The official definition is as follows
Definition: Abbreviation for 'Before Common Era', a non-religious alternative to the use of B.C. in designating the first period of the Gregorian Calendar, the era of prehistory and much of antiquity.

You try to take religion out of our schools. You try to take it out of our government. You try to take it out of our homes and even our churches sometimes. Listen here and listen close. You will NOT take it from my family and you cannot rewrite history!! It is HIS STORY. Not yours.
I have felt this super strong desire to write about this since Bible study last night, but this has sent me over the edge.
Our country was built on religious freedom. Those of you who aren't aware of the Mayflower Compact and what it REALLY said as opposed to what history books teach our children it is put at the bottom of this post.
Why is it our society is so worried about offending everyone BUT us. As a Christian,  I am offended tonight. I am angry. Stop trying to take God out of everything and open your eyes because you are believing lies, people. God is EVERYTHING and He loves you despite your lies. Our founding fathers knew it. Just take a look at the text and you will see it. As Christians, we need to be strong in our faith and strong in our pursuit of the truth. Those who do not believe do not deserve to be persecuted, but they do have the right to be enlightened. It is not our place to shove it in their faces as they shove it in ours. We should encourage them to believe and pray for them because that is our strongest weapon against the lies. So tonight, I pray for the writers and everyone involved in that game show. I pray that the Lord opens their eyes and their hearts and helps them to see past the lies and go with the proven facts. Jesus lived on this Earth. He died for our sins and was raised from the dead so that we may live. Praise be to Him!!  Please see note below***

Mayflower Compact

"In the name of God, Amen. We whose names are under-written, the loyal subjects of our dread sovereign Lord, King James, by the grace of God, of Great Britain, France, and Ireland King, Defender of the Faith, etc. Having undertaken, for the glory of God, and advancement of the Christian faith, and honor of our King and Country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia, do by these presents solemnly and mutually, in the presence of God, and one of another, covenant and combine our selves together into a civil body politic, for our better ordering and preservation and furtherance of the ends aforesaid; and by virtue hereof to enact, constitute, and frame such just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience. In witness whereof we have hereunder subscribed our names at Cape Cod, the eleventh of November [New Style, November 21], in the year of the reign of our sovereign lord, King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth. Anno Dom. 1620." **** Please note I did not insert any references to God in this compact. They were written by those who came over on the Mayflower. They came here for the glory of God. How about we honor their sacrifice and give praises to God for the gift of this incredible land they paved the way through for us because we all owe them a debt we can never pay. You are history. You live it each moment. How are you going to live this day? Tomorrow? Are you going to sit quietly while others are feeding lies? Or are you going to bravely move forward and challenge those lies? I say, anyone who disagrees with me, GREAT! Let's talk. I'd love to show you where my facts come from.

Special Moments

Sometimes a moment happens in this world that we can never prepare ourselves for. That moment came for me yesterday. Papaw was laid to rest yesterday. No, he's not related to me by blood, but that never mattered. He always accepted me and was always the kindest man. It also helps to see the love and genuine respect he gets from absolutely everyone he meets. He is a sepcial man who will truly be missed, but there is more to this than that.
Sometime in the afternoon, Jan asked me to go back to Granny's room to see if she was sleeping or not. 
Granny was awake when I checked in on her. She saw me there and speechlessly, I stepped further into the room. I was suddenly like the little kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar. After 17 years around this family, I know my place with her. As all spouses of the grandkids, we are accepted but always an outsider. I moved on tentatively.
"I was just checking to see if you need anything," I stammered as I walked in the room.
As she reached for me she said, "I love you, Kim" and pulled me into a tight embrace. I have never heard her say that before, and I didn't know how to respond. I cannot even start to express the love I felt in that very moment. Rare to see me at a lack of words, but there I was without them.
"Those babies so love their Papaw," she said.
"We all do Granny."
"What am I going to do without him?"
As the tears came, I held on tight and reassured her that Papaw is watching out for her and that one day, a long time from now she will be reunited with him. My heart broke as I thought of the 60 years together and how very lost this strong woman must be feeling.
I spent the next ten minutes holding the one woman who I had always thought hated me in my arms as she clung tight to me needing a reassurance that I hadn't expected to be the one to make.
We talked about how Papaw was no longer no longer in pain and was always a very patient man. We talked about the sweet rest he would have in Heaven and how he is in better hands now. We talked about how he is forever in her heart and would wait for her to catch up. We held each other so tight and so long that I could feel her ache.
I know her pain. I know her loss. But no one can ever understand losing your one true love until they go through it. I knew I couldn't even start to touch that pain, so at that moment I said the one thing that laid on my heart. I looked in her eyes and told her that we all are nothing without God. Moving forward can only be done in His strength and in His time. We hugged really tight once again before I told her to try to rest before leaving the room.
I will never forget that moment with her and today, I pray for her loss and her forward motion as she tries to face each day without the love of her life.
We don't know how she will move forward at this point, but God gives us strength of heart just when we need it most. I know He is with her, and that gives me comfort. Friends, hug someone today. Give them a smile. Tell them that even if they are completely lost in this world, God loves them. And be that example of God's love..be the Christian He wants you to be.

Almost there

I had a friend make a simple post on Facebook that brought instant tears to my face. It was a link to a blog article that simply stated 18 Summers.
I have been dreading the end of the year because it never fails, my children spend about 90 percent of the summer fighting. But those words just changed it all.
We have 18 Summers with our children. 
Take that in for a second. 18 precious years that seem so very long, but in the scheme of things are so short. When you think about the short time we actually have, it's hard to digest. It seems like just yesterday, I was sitting in my recliner in Peoria, Illinois rubbing my belly wondering what my precious Alec was going to look like and what kind of personality he would have. Today, I realized we are on his 9th Summer. Suddenly I wonder has it been enough. We are halfway there, but did I make each summer count for him!
We always think we have plenty of time, but do we really! We often fill our summers with the continuance of insane schedules. All kinds of things.. that are just that.. things.
This year, I have all intentions of getting up early and getting my work done for the most part when my children are still in bed. I don't want the computer to be all they remember about their summer. I want them to remember playing in the sprinkler, eating popsicles and going to the park. I want them to remember homemade ice cream and special time with their grandparents. I want them to remember sweet summer rain and playing in it.  I want them to remember like I do because memories never fade, so we really need to make them count.

Unexpected Sources of Peanuts

As I contemplated what to share today, I thought of things that surprised me when we first found out about Owen's allergies. What all foods peanuts were in. It's crazy, quite honestly, the number of things. We were so very blessed to be newly diagnosed when the FDA passed regulations regarding food labels. They clearly had to list those top allergens, like peanuts. And now have to say that they were manufactured on shared equipment. That in itself is a whole other can of worms.
But what kinds of foods have peanuts in them besides the logical, peanuts and peanut butter? Let's take a look at this individually.

• Sauces such as chili sauce, hot sauce, pesto, gravy, mole  sauce, and salad dressing - most often these are better and healthier homemade, so that is something to consider when purchasing sauces.
• Sweets such as pudding, cookies, and hot chocolate - This particular group isn't as surprising when you think of cookies and then pudding, but the hot chocolate threw us for a loop.
• Egg rolls - A lot of Asian cooking contains nuts. We avoid all Asian restaurants when Owen is with us to be proactive.
• Potato pancakes - This one surprised me at one point. My recommendation is to save your own mashed potatoes and make them yourselves. ;-) Again, homemade is always better when dealing with food allergies. Only you can control the ingredients in your foods.
• Pet food - Dog food and bird seed are two big culprits for having peanuts as an ingredient. Many dog's enjoy the taste of peanut butter. It's added protein to foods can be invaluable, but you have to be careful not to purchase those foods that include it. I say that because, imagine your dog ate his food and then "kissed" a peanut allergy kid. That can cause a severe reaction!!
• Specialty pizzas- Again, homemade is so much better. It's always a good rule of thumb to ask about ingredients. If they can't tell you, it's not worth it.
• Asian and Mexican dishes - As I said before, many Asian dishes have peanuts in them, as do Mexican dishes. Best rule of thumb is to avoid.
• Some vegetarian food products, especially those advertised as meat substitutes
• Foods that contain extruded, cold-pressed, or expelled peanut oil, which may contain peanut protein - Many allergists will actually tell you that you can have peanut oil, but they aren't specific that some peanut oils like the one listed here actually have those peanut proteins that individuals are allergic to.
• Glazes and marinades - These are very similar to sauces. They just aren't worth it for the most part.

Who doesn't grow up excited to go to the ice cream parlor to get a scoop with Pap or Ms. Nancy (she was our neighbor who would come get me and my sis and take us to Dairy Queen after we already had our jammies on- the shock ;-). Such fond memories)? Well, Owen, that's who. And kids like him. Dairy Queen is a dangerous place for him, actually. Ever watch them make blizzards, throwing chocolate candies (the ones with the peanut butter in them) around like they are nothing. There is cross contamination everywhere in that place, and they mark it as such everywhere. Graeter's? Who in Ohio doesn't just love that place? Owen, again. How sad that I remember going up there to get ice cream the entire time I was pregnant with him. We lived just across the tracks from there and it was such an incredible temptation, but the scoops are shared. We have been there a few times, and they are always incredible about getting a clean scoop from the back for us. But it's a nervous place for us.

And speaking of chocolate. You all know those orange wrappers. Owen knows them too. Sitting at baseball practice a few weeks ago, I saw someone open one of those and started to tell Owen to be careful when he calmly looked at me and said, "Mom, orange wrapper, be careful." hee hee. My little boy is growing up and knows what to avoid. I'd be in trouble if Reese's ever changed the color of their wrapper. But it's not just the orange ones. Hershey's? Typically a no-no. The big packages that have 6 full sized bars in them, those are the safe ones, manufactured in clean facilities. And chocolate chips are another item to be careful of.
The list actually could go on and on and on, but I hope I've given you thought about the ingredients you put in your food. I already shared what has and could happen again if Owen were exposed to peanuts. It could be worse next time. Remember, nothing changes without education. Make sure that you be proactive and educate yourself. I focus on peanuts because those are the worst in our house, but the seven common allergens that are severe are peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, milk, fish and shellfish. These are all life-threatening as well as others, so try to be mindful when you have dinner guests or are participating in a bake sale even.

Food Allergy Awareness Week

Food allergies are dangerous. If I don't get any other point across this week about them, please take that one piece of information and always keep it in the back of your head.
I'd like to take you to a dark day in our lives to show you the danger. Going back to December 4, 2009. It was a day like any others; running around ragged and trying to get everything done we needed to. That evening was Owen's special Christmas program at preschool, and we were all excited. We got all the kids together and went to enjoy the show. The preschool is awesome, first of all, and have a great organization to each event they have. Cookies are shared at the end of the performances so everyone has a chance at fellowship. I remember watching that program and being in awe of my big boy in his performance.
Once it was all done, the boys went with Wade to get some juice and cookies (please remember the preschool is a peanut-free environment) while I changed the baby's diaper. When the girls joined the boys, I saw they were already seated eating their cookies and didn't think anything of it at first as I was looking but not really seeing. Then I saw the one thing a food allergy kid Mom never wants to see and my heart stopped.
I saw my baby boy putting a cookie in his mouth that I knew was one that typically had peanut butter in it. Wade said that I became some strange super woman who smacked the cookie from his hand and shoved a Benadryl down his throat all in one second. Then I went in search of Ms. Julia, our preschool director. I needed to know what was in those cookies. I needed to know if he was truly in danger or if I was over-reacting. *Please note that Wade allowed the boys to get their own cookies and as a man, isn't aware of the typical ingredients in most cookies. He thought the cookie was sugar cookie. Remember, peanut-free environment.
After a few agonizing minutes and an announcement, my worst fears were confirmed. It had peanut butter in it. We called 911 and waited for the paramedics in the hall, praying we wouldn't have to use the epipen. I sat there holding Owen and making him repeat his alphabet. We started that to determine if we could hear a change in this voice or his breathing. We thought it would help us to know if it had gotten bad. The paramedics came and were great with him. They said while his heart rate was up, he seemed fine. Just watch him and the best thing would be for him to throw up. We went back in and felt better but not 5 minutes later, Owen threw up everywhere and started breaking out in hives. The reaction was continuing, and it was getting worse. Our preschool family was so very concerned as were we. We decided to stop at Station House 1 (the main fire station in our area) on the way home to have them check him out. When I brought him in, the 6 guys standing around understood my concern, but again, only his heart rate was elevated. They recommended more Benadryl and watching him. We took him home and did what they told us.
My heart said it was wrong. As I held Owen and prayed harder than I have ever prayed before, I felt my baby boy weaken and watched him transform before my eyes. He went from his beautiful pasty white winter skin to this horrendous red rash that covered him from head to toe. He was burning up suddenly and I was at a loss for what to do. We called friends for Alec and Sofia and rushed Owen to the emergency room.
That night is so much of a blur. The nurses tried to give him oral medication, but he couldn't keep it down. The doctor finally put the "straw" (iv) as they told Owen into his arm and pumped him full of steriods and epinephrine. They were fighting to save my baby's life, and I was helpless to do anything. They said his organs were the first to react to the peanuts. He was having an internal reaction rather than one we would normally see. He was in anaphylactic shock the minute the first paramedics were on the scene, but none of us could see it. Every reaction is different, but Owen's wasn't typical or was it easy to spot.
We spent a good portion of the night praying over our little boy before I finally sent Wade home because we knew he had to go to work the next morning. I remember him waking up the next morning and squeezing my hand. My heart burst with love as he told me he was hungry and tired and wanted to know when we were going to be able to go home. As any of my Mom friends can attest to, seeing your child in pain is one thing, but if you ever see your child fight for his life, you have seen one day too many.
This wasn't just over with the discharge from the hospital. You have to remember that his father gave him the cookie. Wade felt guilty; a guilt that no Daddy should ever have to feel.  He didn't mean to do it; it was an accident. Owen doesn't remember that night, thank goodness, but he does remember the cookie. And he remembers the days and months after of being sick and eventually (6 months later) being diagnosed with asthma because his lungs never fully recovered from the reaction. He actually shys away from cookies now because he does know what can happen.
Our baby is still alive, but the lesson from this story is that ignorance can cause death. The mother that ignored the signs and reminders that were posted everywhere that there to be no peanut products included in the cookies.. the mother that put my child's life in danger.. She chose to bring those cookies. She chose to ignore the warnings. She could have killed my child. Food allergies are dangerous, but equally as dangerous is not being careful. We learned many lessons that night, but the most important is that we need to be diligent to teach Owen how to live in a peanut world. It's everywhere, and no matter how determined I am to keep him safe, I cannot possibly get rid of the peanut industry (although I would love to). So, I prayed and determined that the lesson I could take from God in all this was that it is my job to make sure anyone I have contact with is educated and knows how severe food allergies can be.
Food allergies are dangerous. Food allergies can kill. Be alert. Be safe. and Be AWARE.

You want me to put what where and do what?

I believe my title says it all. So, I have worked super hard to get control of my eating, as many of you know, but I felt like it was time to start working on the whole exercise thing. Yes, that was the only 8 letter word that I considered worse than cursing. But I have been walking and added working out last Thursday. Doing really good and decided to plunge right into the P90X workout that Wade decided it was time to get.
Tony is his name. He's actually quite motivating. Another friend of mine thinks he's annoying. I can see that, but I marvel at his form and yeah, well, he does have a body that reminds me of a Greek god. I'm not looking to get ripped, although, that would be really cool one day. I'm looking to get fit, and P90X does that for people. Am I ready to do all the workouts, heck no!! I don't know a skinny person ready to do all the workouts. After doing some of the "easier" (Whatever) workouts the past few days, I decided to suck it up and start the actual process today. I did chest and back as well as the ab ripper. HOLY CRAP. While my calves are hurting from yesterday's jump roping exercises, thanks to You Tube (Great place to get workouts btw), I have to say my arms are already sore and my abs will never be the same.  I had no clue I even had muscles in some of those places!!
But I'm one step closer to the right direction. I am sure it would please Bob (yeah, I'm a Biggest Loser fan) to know that I'm starting the process and working hard.
So tomorrow is another day, and I can't wait to see what plyometrics are. I think I am in for some insanity tomorrow ;-) I will have to update you when I survive and if I can still walk when this is all over.

Thank you!

Today is a day to thank our service men and women who have found victory on the battle field. That being said, I do not wish to offend by saying the rest of this, but this is NOT a day to celebrate!!!
As an American, I can say that it is most satisfying to know that there are great individuals out there protecting our country and doing their job. For that, I am very thankful. As a Christian, I cannot help but think that God is a little sad today.

The Bible says that God never rejoices at the death of the wicked. "Say to them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, people of Israel?’" Ezekiel 33:11
If we are to be Christlike, then we must not rejoice in the death of Bin Laden, the death of the unsaved. It is a sad thing when someone dies and goes into Hell. No Christian who has God's love in their heart should be glad to see anyone go to Hell. Many people rejoice that sinners are burning, but God is not pleased about it. God does not want ANY soul to perish in Hell.
"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

I know this isn't popular thought today, but I can't help but be sad with God today. I see His tears in our rain. I say a prayer to thank God for the individuals who protect our country and even those who have "brought down the enemy," but I will not choose to celebrate the death of a sinner and the condemnation to Hell.

We sit numb....

You know the feeling. We didn't just watch a man die here. We watched our Jesus die. We saw Him hang from the cross. We watched him suffer. We fear the Jewish leaders. We hide from them hoping to save ourselves. It's the day after, and we sit here numb.......

There isn't much information in the Bible about the Saturday after. It is a day meant for rest and reflection because on this day Jesus "rested" in the tomb. This Silent Saturday is a long day. A long long day. It represents life as it is for all of us in so many ways. Though we like to say that we live on the other side of Easter and that of course is true in the ultimate sense, it is also true that we live somewhere between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

The crucifixion is behind us, but death is still with us. The final victory lies somewhere in the future. Every funeral reminds us that the final enemy that will be destroyed is death. Death was defeated by Jesus, but it has not yet been destroyed. That happy day is still in front of us.

Get ready!!! Something is about to happen that hasn't happened yet!! Thank God!!!! Praise the Lord that we are not moving back toward the crucifixion. It may be Saturday, but we're moving toward Easter. Sunday's coming. All we have to do is hold on a little while longer and Sunday will be here.

I say Keep the Faith! Yesterday our Lord was crucified. Today his body lies in the tomb. Tomorrow he rises from the dead. Saturday can seem like a long day. It is! But be positive. The crucifixion is behind us, and Saturday will not last forever. Sooner than we think, Sunday will be here.


We are on the march from Good Friday through Holy Saturday to Easter Sunday. We aren't quite there, but we're moving in the right direction. It's Saturday, but Sunday's coming. Let that thought give strength to your heart today.