Drum Roll Please

I am quite pleased to say that I sit here typing this blog 6.6 pounds lighter!!! Official weigh in is 260.8 pounds.
YEAH!! Great victory, but I can't just be excited and not admit my faults as I go through this cycle or it will never end.
"At the same time the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don't know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes along with our groans that cannot be expressed in words." --Romans 8:26 (God's Word Translation)
We all have moments of weakness in any sin that we encounter, but God is with us. The Spirit is there to guide us by giving us strength to bear those weakness and exciting us to make efforts to sustain them and allowing us to endure those trials by ministering to us consolations and truths.
There aren't always words appropriate for situations. Sometimes we know what we need, but we just cannot express those needs. Even writers get writer's block. The Holy Spirit is the spring of all desires toward God, which are often more than words can utter. The Spirit who searches the hearts, can perceive the mind and will of the spirit, the renewed mind, and advocates his cause. The Spirit makes intercession to God, and the enemy does not prevail.
How is that associated with weight loss? Remember my first blog.. this is a sin. At least it is for me. I have sinned and fell short. Saying it isn't easy. Knowing what to ask God for is something I'm finding this week to be challenging to say the least. Is it selfish to pray for God's help? Am I asking the right things?  I also find it challenging to not only know what to ask for, but to feel strength in those moments when chocolate used to fix the situation.
I cannot say that I feel alone in this battle. I am almost overwhelmed by the strength that I can only attribute to my precious friends who are with me, no matter what their size. I, quite honestly, didn't realize how many people were reading my blog. I thank you guys. It is truly awesome to feel all of your hands on my shoulder as I go through the day making good decisions about health and nutrition.
I did have meals this week that weren't necessarily the best choices, but a meal here or there did not hurt the end results. I found that I couldn't think about that meal and stress out over it when I had another one to plan for the next day. So, I take on this second week with renewed strength and lighter feet with a thank you to all those who had encouraging words and an extension of fellowship to all those who need this journey as much as I do. Walk with me friends. Literally and figuratively. We walk at our church while we have cold weather, if you are local and wish to join us, let me know!! We welcome the fellowship. If you can't be here, awesome, do what you can. Park further out when you go to the store. Walk around every aisle at Walmart. (DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT STORE IS!! hee hee). Take some extra steps with me and please, any healthy and easy recipes are more than welcome. Through God, all things are possible!!

Shake What Your Momma Gave you

I decided yesterday I want to dance. Then the little Veggie Tales song from Jimmy Gourd went through my mind, and I almost laughed out loud in church.
The lyrics are actually pretty perfect for me. I am a girl though and pretend me singing this in my biggest, most dramatic voice ;-)
Ever since I was a little boy
In widely tailored pants
My only aspiration was to
Be a gourd... who danced.

But for what it's worth
My portly girth
Only served to make folks giggle
'Cuz the more I moved
The more I proved
All I could do was... jiggle.

I want to dance!
I want to groove!
I need to feel
The rush!
Of the wind!
Under my shoes!

I want to dance...

You get the point. ;-) So, I wanted to jiggle (and I WAS listening to the sermon, Bill, so please don't think me a heathen). I decided we should get a dancing Wii game and asked Wade after church if we could go to Best Buy. As I looked and contemplated getting Dance on Broadway but I couldn't see myself dancing to Luck be a Lady. Kept looking through and wasn't sure the best bet. I watched an actual Zumba class and almost peed my pants laughing at the possibility that I would even ever try that. So, I settled on one that would be great for the entire family.... Just Dance Kids. With 40 songs ranging from Pop goes the Weasel to Who let the Dogs Out, it is perfect for the entire family.

So after our family walk, Owen and I decided it was time to start dancing. HOLY CRAP!! I have been walking at a great brisk pace and doing a good job keeping up with my skinny walking partner, but this made that look like a cake walk (excuse the sweet food reference hee hee). I was determined to get 20 minutes in and that was exactly the extent of what I was able to do. Apparently the dance that went along with Happy Birthday was too much for me as it had me sweating and done for the day!!!
But I DID IT!!! I danced for 20 minutes with only breaks in between songs as we selected the next one. I am so excited to do it again. This morning we have various errands to run and will be dancing at some point as I need to get in some movement on this very dreary day.
The encouragement I would like to pass on today to you, my dear friends, is to shake it. You can choose, as I do at this time, to shake it in the privacy of your own home. Or go out and find a great dance class (I know a wonderful dance studio in Lewis Center that does Zumba and hear the Y's class here in Grove City is super). No matter what though, let's get moving as sitting idle is not achieving our goals!! Weight check in tomorrow. A little nervous as I had a few off meals this weekend, but tomorrow is another day. God Bless and Keep moving!

And So It Begins

I am obese. I know, I know, not a huge shock there. It's quiet clear to everyone who has vision.
I looked in the mirror the other day and realized I really am fat. To those of you skinny snots out there, that isn't something that you know a thing about. It really does sneak up on you. On your thighs. On your arms. Around your waist and even in your eyes. Sounds strange to say that, but look into the eyes of a fat chick and you will see it all. We wear our heart on our sleeve and in our eyes. All of those fat cells seem to suck the life out of our eyes. As I stood staring at myself and what I've become I was ashamed.
I realized that God had given me a body and I pissed away his gift. (forgive me for the strong use of word, but that is truly what I feel right now).
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body," 1 Cor. 6:19-20
He bought and paid for me and what have I done in return!! It's like when you are 16 and your parents buy you your first car. You don't change the oil. You only find out E doesn't mean Enough when your Dad tells you as he's come to fill it with the can meant for the lawnmower. You let the tires get worn down and the interior looks like the inside of a trash can. Your a teenager who doesn't take care of her new toy. In no time, one bad choice right after another turns into the car of your dreams being something you really don't even want to get into because it looks bad. It rides bad. It feels bad. Guess what, I'm that car. And lately I most certainly feel like a worn out car.
Waking up fat is not something pretty. It takes time. It takes patience and it takes a fortitude that many don't have. That's why our beloved country has gotten to this extreme. So, I woke up fat and realized that my children deserve better. It's not for me. I would have done it years ago had it been for me, but there was clearly something keeping me back. I don't think my faith was strong enough. This week turned a corner for me. I had a great long-distance friend who gave me a wonderful starting point for nutrition and a great local friend who decided we should walk together. We've walked together twice this week and I hurt like heck. But I'll be there in the morning doing it again, because I cannot fail this time. I have too much riding on this one.
I keep reading that verse above and I have some major apologizing to do to my Father in Heaven. I took his temple and used it as my trash can. I didn't was the windows. I didn't do the simple maintenance to keep it a working building. But I don't read that verse with only negativity. I see such hope and such light in it. Because He IS with me. The Holy Spirit is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. I feel His power when I need the will power to avoid the bad foods in the grocery store. I feel His power when I don't want to get off the sofa and go walk. One painful step at a time. He's walked with me before. He walks with me again.
No more excuses. No more stalling. It starts here and it starts now. This 267.4 pound woman has had enough and that is that!!

True Love

My heart overflows with so much love today and always for my sweet, precious husband. Our first year of marriage, I crochet'd my heart to my him through an Anne Bradstreet poem. After 15 1/2 years of marriage, I still feel the same way.
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye woman, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the east doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere,
That when we love no more, we may live ever.
There really are few words that describe the true love that I feel for my husband. Now, I know that some of you will roll your eyes about this because that's what you do. Let me be honest, this post if for my Schnookums. I don't much care what anyone else thinks of this.

So, I say this to you, my dear, you are the sun that warms the Earth, the moon that lightens the night and the stars that listen to dreams. And for that, I love you like the sun. I love you like the moon. I love you like the stars. I love you. I love you. I love you. ;-)

I Saw Him

I saw God today and what a glorious sight it was. I started to go to bed already and as I finished my bath and prepared to lay down, my heart said, not yet. I felt Him speaking to me to come type this blog entry.
Tonight, as I entered the dance studio, I heard bits and pieces of a story that sent chills down my spine. He was right there. In the eyes of a mother. on the tired face of a little girl. Right in front of me!!! And as realization sets in now, I am amazed. I witnessed a Faith like none other. A Faith that can only show God.

Let me explain... It was a quiet night in the studio. I had taken Owen for his make up tap class and saw his teacher, Ms. Tracy speaking with a mother. As I put on Owen's shoes and prepared him for class, I only half listened to the conversation. It's a small room, you see, so a private conversation is not something that could happen. I saw this woman that looked no different than you nor I and heard something that struck me. "It's February, and I'm still here." I heard her talk about finding a doctor that she really trusts that will help the cancer go away. I heard her positive attitude and determination to beat this disease that has built a home inside her and I thought, wow! What an incredible woman (as I often do with cancer). Then I felt my heart tug as I heard her talk about her daughter who I had seen inside the studio dancing her little heart out. I don't know the family. I didn't recognize either of them, but Ms. Tracy had mentioned it was good that they were back. I then heard the mother talk about how her daughter had just finished a round of radiation for the cancer in her knee but that she was eager to be back at dancing. I didn't even get it then. As this little girl came out, just slightly out of breath with a beautiful smile on her face. Ms. Tracy said, I love the new hair too. The mother looked at her daughter with a look of sadness and said, "That's all that has returned." That's when it hit me. This little girl. This beautiful tiny dancer had been going through cancer as well. The battle raging in their home was on both mother and daughter and their struggle was together. I couldn't fathom. There were no words for these strangers...for this struggle with the devil to heal their broken bodies.

There are some who say, "God won't put anymore on your shoulders than you can carry." I have heard it many times in my life. The idea that God puts something on us and knows our limits and takes us to our breaking point to see how strong we are is not so. At least I don't think it is. God doesn't put things on us or send enormous tragedies that destroy us and fragment our lives. That's not the God I know.

Read the gospels. Listen about Jesus and see what God is like. Jesus doesn't pull triggers or walk down the street and wreck cars or send diseases to people, or cause heart attacks. God doesn't take a father or daughter from a family because God is lonely and needs them in heaven. Jesus heals and feed and opens eyes and befriends and loves! In our world, cars crash and diseases destroy and people act a fool. Why blame God for that!
Paul writes in Romans 8 that in times of suffering and struggle are not times when God is absent, but are times when God is most present with love and solidarity. God stands with us even in the worst of times and nothing, NOTHING, can separate us from God.
When forces larger than life swirl around us and seem beyond our control and overwhelm us, Paul says, "In all of this we are more than conquerors through the one who loves us." That sounds like a promise of victory to me. The cross and resurrection of Jesus show us God's conquest of suffering and death with life. Parade all of the forces that threaten to undo us and destroy us, and pull off their masks and you will see the fraud for what they really are! They cannot separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Their power is temporary. God is with us in our suffering, and we share with Christ in God's victory.
How is this belief possible? Look around. See the family battling cancer, the death of a loved one, an inexplicable accident. The Faith in the lives of God's people!
Skeptics call them foolish. Paul calls them victors, conquerors even. What do you call them?

Goodbye is never permanent

Friendship. It comes and goes and sometimes it goes without any realization. You make friends and life goes on. Before you realize it, you aren't really friends with them. One thing or another happens, you grow apart. You become different people and suddenly have nothing in common. Years go by and you find them on Facebook. You friend each other and while it's nice to catch up and see what life is like for them, it's not the friendship you had before.
I don't have many friends that I would consider close friends. I treasure each friend I have, but someone who I know I can go to and cry no matter what the situation, only two stick out. My sweet, adorable and loving husband who has been there through some tough times and loves me despite my flaws. My super bestest friend who has been there since we were little. She's the one that you call because you know she's the ONLY one that will truly understand. No matter how many years go between seeing each other or how many months between calls or emails, you know she will be there without judgment, with open arms and a wonderful listening shoulder to cry on.
Then God puts someone in your life that gives you hope for a close friend (cause we all know that girls long for that close relationship- that someone they can go to just because they need to talk about their significant other's gas or the way the dog is chewing on everything or just to talk about the difference between your toilets and the ones from her country ;-) I have a friend like that. My sweet Angelah. I have never met a woman like her... so strong and so loving. She has the biggest heart and the brightest soul. We can talk for hours and not even realize where the time has gone. And my children... oh, little Owen thinks she's his girlfriend and Alec loves to hear her stories. My little Fifi just thinks she hangs the moon.
We became friends out of proximity. You see, she's my neighbor's (One of the best neighbors a girl could ever ask for) girlfriend. But it is complicated. Her home is in India. Yeah, I'm talking the country all that ways away. God put Nick and Angelah together because He has a purpose. But God is also testing their relationship as well as others she has made because she can't stay in the United States but for a period of time and it's not just as simple as getting married and getting a Green card. As I said, it's complicated, but they are doing it the right way ;-)
So, for the second time in the past year, we have to say goodbye to our dear friend who has to go "home." I know I am bound to cry this week when I have to say goodbye because I am just that kind of sappy dope, but I do pray for strength as I know that goodbyes are always harder when you wear your heart on your sleeve. Tearing ourselves away from the people who mean a lot to us is one of the most painful things in life.
But as I think about saying goodbye, I hope that my dear friend knows how much she touched my heart and how much of an impact she has made on the lives of my entire family and holds dear to that as she awaits the day she can return (hopefully for good).
My favorite author, Maya Angelou, once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

I pray that holds true for my friend :-) We will miss you, but we know you will be home soon.

Looking Around

Today my blog post found me at church. Yes, I meant that exactly how I typed it. Someone struck me today (not physically, but mentally) and I can't help but think. What a great blessing to be able to do that: to think.
As we stood praising and worshiping with great songs that took me back to singing at the Senior Center with Red Motter (my older friends know who Red was) and an awesome worship team, someone walked in late. To be honest, I don't know him or his parents well. I sit on the same side as them and always say hello, but to go beyond that, we haven't had a conversation with them. He comes in with his wife oftentimes, but I noted he looked a bit disheveled as he came in late to join his parents. Alone. His parents shared some sort of look that said something, but not knowing them or the situation I couldn't tell what it was about, nor was I really interested.
What I could tell was that he seemed a bit off. I've seen him sharply dressed and smiling- a handsome young man. But today, he wore workout pants and a sweatshirt. He looked out of breath as he came in and stood. And despite the fact that I have seen him sing rather passionately during our time of worship and praise, he just stood there with his coat still on. I couldn't help but be distracted as I looked at the back/side of this person and thought, what has he been through this week? Then I started looking around (Ron would not have been happy to note that I continued this during the sermon when I most definitely needed to be listening, but my ADD had kicked in). I looked across the room at the beautiful teenager that I know and adore as she listened (yeah even she was listening - bad Kim. hee hee). I saw her glance at her mother with a smile and thought, what kind of week did she have? I looked up at one of my favorite elder of the church (I won't name names because I adore him too much to make others jealous that I like him the best. ;-) I saw the passion for Jesus and wondered what kind of week did he have?
How often do we go to church and have something else on our mind. Or something in our heart that we just can't let go to worship and allow Jesus to work his wonders. Then I looked down at my sweet Owen and thought about his week. I've been there for that, but how much do I really know. Do I really know what kind of week he had? Am I in tune in my own life to even know what kind of week I had?
Then I came back in tune and paid attention to hear Ron talking about being beggars for the Lord and I felt myself wondering about the kind of week that beggar he was talking about had before running into Peter and John. It wasn't literal. The beggar was lame. He was sitting in front of the church at the right time and the right place with the right question and the right attitude (YEAH, I was listening a little). He was asking for money, but he was asking for so much more.
How often do we go into church and we are begging for someone to pay attention and just notice that we are having an off day, whether we say it or not? And while they don't always do it, sometimes just a smile will make the difference for us. I hope my smile helped.....someone. I hoped my kind words helped....someone. I hope my quick hug helped....someone.
As we go through this next week. I challenge you to first of all read Acts 3, but also to think about the beggar and your own walk with Christ. May He give you strength to stand on your own, no matter what challenges you face this week. And when you are standing there, look around. He's not only right beside you, but He might be working to help someone else stand on weak legs. Just reach out your hands and help....someone.

25 years later

Today is one of those days that sit here and think back at a memory that you aren't sure is real or maybe you saw it on tv. Well, today's memory is both. 25 years ago today, many of us sat as school children watching the Challenger, excited about the prospects it brought, only to have it blow up in the sky. I was 11 years old that day. I remember feeling like it wasn't real. (kinda like 9-11). I remember everyone, everywhere being in shock as if it wasn't possible. 73 seconds after launch. 46,000 feet into the air. An "explosion" on live tv at 11:39 am as the shuttle disintegrated over the Atlantic Ocean, off the Florida coast. 7 people lost their lives.
 Michael J Smith, 40, liked woodworking, last words "Uh-Oh." Father of 3.
Dick Scobee, 46, enjoyed motorcycling and flying. Father of 2.
Ronald McNair, 35, 5th black belt, prepared to record a saxophone solo in space. Father of 2.
Ellison Onizuka, 39, first Asian American to reach space. loved the outdoors(hunting and fishing). Father of 2.
Christa McAuliffe, 37, TEACHER. "I have a vision of the world as a global village, a world without boundaries. Imagine a history teacher making history!" . Mother of 2.
Gregory Jarvis, 41, ENGINEER. played the classical guitar. Avid squash player.
Judith Resnik, 36, classical pianist. from Akron, OH

Today, as a Mom, I can't help but think of those astronauts' families. I can't help but think of those children who grew up without fathers or a mother. I can't help but think of the ladies who became single mothers.. the father who became a single father. How very difficult their journey had to have been. We all think back to what we were doing and how it affected our lives. That is so insignificant compared to the loss of these families.
So today, I say a prayer for those families who watched, along with the entire world, their loved ones perish above the Atlantic Ocean. We shall never forget.

Talking

Well, the resolutions did just what I predicted. hee hee. But I promise to come up with a better February theme (I hope) for any of you out there who like to visit and read.
Today, I'm thinking of my sweet monkey pants. My daughter isn't much of a talker. Shock of all shocks since the middlest doesn't stop talking. (seriously, he even talks in his sleep). So many days I wonder what she is wanting or thinking. At her last pediatrician appointment, Doc said to stop talking for her. That we are probably doing that and she's getting lazy. We did that... only to find she wanted to learn more sign language. I thought that would be awesome. Alec uses sign language and has since he was 7 or 8 months old. How bad could it be? Oh my, I should have thought twice about it. Now she wants to know the sign for everything and while her language is expanding, she's still refusing to talk. Even more so now.
So, funny of all funnies, she gets into the dishes pantry where she knows not to be. But she's two. I let her carefully pile up the dishes and when she throws a coffee cup across the floor and into one of the "bowl plates" screaming, I am not too thrilled. No, it didn't break. I started to let it go, but she continues screaming and can't seem to tell me what's going on. Then she starts signing spider to me. Apparently, we need to use those coffee cups more often or actually dust in there. She was frantic about a spider (which is white- haven't seen one of those before) which was located and killed. When I had verified the path of death and destruction to her, she signed Thank you to me. Here is an example. Could she have said spider? yes. I KNOW she knows that word, but she didn't. Could she have told me thank you, yes. I KNOW she knows those words. She's choosing not to.
Another poignant moment came shortly afterward when she brought me another sugar stick (airhead) and set it on the sofa. She signed, more please as she had had one earlier in the morning (yeah, let's not question that parenting decision). Then held it up. I refused until she used her words. She signed again. Again, I said no, not until you use your words. She signed one more time and ROLLED HER EYES AT ME. I said, I understand what you are saying to me young lady, but you HAVE to use your words or I will not do it. She actually stomped away and said, "I DO IT." hee hee. I laugh at that only because she used her words for that one. ;-) After struggling to open it for about 10 minutes, she walked over to me and signed as she spoke. She said, Please open. I said, good girl. Momma likes it when you use your words. Great moment when she replied thank you and signed it as well.
There are so many days that words can't describe what we want and our vocabulary doesn't have those words even if we did want to describe it. I think of that like my sweet little girl. She doesn't have all the words yet, but she's learning. We don't have the words yet, but we're learning. We have to try to be patient and keep trusting that we are doing the best we can and that eventually we will get there :-)
One small step for my sweet 2 year old today, one giant leap in the Lunsford house. :-)

Difference

Resolutions are so easy to come by and easy to break. As I go on this journey, I am trying to think of what things we can do this year that we won't break. I want to make a difference. I don't know where that difference will be yet as it's early in this resolution. But there are so many ways that we can do that.
My heart is leading me to write more and to work on this book that I so feel God leading me to write. So I decided to take 20 minutes this morning and dedicate that to researching what I need to do to create and sell my proposal for it. Not a lot of time, but something. Will it make a difference? I hope so.
But there are other things that I'm thinking right now. Little differences. My Alec so wanted a keyboard for Christmas, and Santa delivered a great one. It wasn't enough though, so we signed him up for these great piano lessons. Something that seems small, but when you see the child's eyes when he talks excitedly about his first piano lesson tonight, you see that difference. It's little, yes. But it's huge to him. How do you know that the difference you make isn't huge? The smile you give to a stranger. The video you take of a homeless man with an incredible voice and decide to put on You Tube. I mean, think about it. He's not homeless anymore. He's got a job and is doing the morning talk show circuit just for one person saying, WOW, what a voice and putting it online. It seems little, but was it for him? Think about it...

Jude 1:22-23 (New King James Version)

²² And on some have compassion, making a distinction;^{[a] 23} but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire,^[b] hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.

Choice of Words

This morning has been enlightening. How often do we think about what we are saying? I sat listening to my precious 6 year old struggling to use words because of his lack of two front teeth. He already has an issue that sounds like stuttering when his brain cannot catch up to his mouth, so these missing teeth are really giving him a hard time. As I listened to him, I thought about my own words and others and how they seem so darn easy to come off the tongue even though we should be struggling to say them.
I think of Ricky and growing up. How many times did I sit at the bus stop and hear them calling him names! "Retard" and words that truly are obscenities. Such a sweet sweet fella. He did nothing wrong. He stood on the corner reading (normally it was the Bible or dictionary- wise beyond words if you ask me) and shouting about what he was reading. I remember being quiet and thinking how wrong it was that those other kids would be mean to him. Until one day when Marcie and I had had enough and we stood up to those kids and told them that what they were doing was wrong. It felt good to stand up for what I believed in, and I always thought he appreciated what we did in the long run (probably doesn't even remember it, but I hope he does).
Now, I type about this and think about things I say on a daily basis that can be considered a bad choice. I'm not the only one. I hear it in the grocery store when mother's get frazzled with their kids. I hear it on the way to school or even at dance or a sporting event. It's everywhere.

Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear"

Let's work on our tongues today. That we build up instead of tearing down. That we don't say something that we know isn't appropriate. Yes, another resolution, but is it? hee hee

What does it mean to eat healthier?

I started thinking today about food. While that's not really a shock to anyone as I clearly think of food often ;-), I was thinking about eating healthier. THAT is a shock. hahaha. If you think about it, we actually don't realize what we eat in a day unless we keep track of it. As I started tracking my food intake yesterday, I realized that, shock of all shocks, I am not eating enough food. So, I thought to myself, how do you get overweight (let's be honest-- obese) when you don't eat enough? So I started thinking about what I've eaten in the past and that phrase, I'm STARVING! Not really, but we all say it. If you don't eat enough calories in a day, maybe the next day you go overboard and eat too many calories or the wrong foods.
Let's look at some examples...
Pizza. Great food, right. My logic is there it has cheese for my dairy intake and then veggies on top and some protein if you like to include meat. If you are technical about it, you also have fruit as a tomato is a fruit and the sauce is made from tomatoes. Taking a look at what that pizza would be like in our household, requires a purchase from Little Caesar's Pizza. I like my research, but decided I'm not ready to go that far yet. So I ventured on line. We would normally get a cheese and a pepperoni (love those leftovers). Guess there goes the veggies. Oh well, so the nutritional information for the cheese that I normally eat is very interesting. One slice. How many truly eat just one slice? Well, anyhow, one slice is 240 calories and 9 g of fat. If you are watching your cholesterol or your sodium levels, you don't want me to tell you those. It's insane and high.
Can we make pizza healthier? I think so. We can improve it by using less cheese or healthier cheese options than the processed. We can also adjust the crust. I am considering using rice flour next time I make it at home. Plus at home, you can pile all the veggies on that you know you love. Broccoli and chicken with mushrooms. mmmm, getting hungry thinking about it.
Tacos.. We like Taco Bell, but our favorite is Chipolte (when the kids don't want it). This one had me going OMW. I like the burrito and while I normally get chicken, I thought I'd look it up for steak this time. Includes: -1 Burrito-size Flour Tortilla -6 oz. Cilantro-Lime Rice -4 oz. Black Beans -2.5 oz. Fajita Vegetables -4 oz. Steak -3.5 oz. Tomato Salsa -3.5 oz. Corn Salsa  Drum Roll please....... 970 calories. Not a typo, I really mean that!!! 24.5 g of Fat. Makes me want to avoid that place for a little while.
We can make a burrito at home that is half the size and definitely half the calories and fit what we want in it. salsa is a low fat food. Let's focus on that. Let's use more veggies and a leaner meat than the steak. We can make it a healthy option just by using foods that are better for us.
I'm also finding that I'm eating too much in the evenings and not enough during the day. That's a hard one, but I realized that the experts do say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. By all accounts, it really should be the largest as you've been sleeping for how many ever hours you were blessed with getting before being awoken by that nasty alarm clock or that screaming beautiful child. Sleep will take some serious energy out of you and coffee alone won't do it. Today, I had raisin bran with milk and yogurt and by the look of my caloric intake, I'm not there yet. Still not enough food. My task for tomorrow is going to be finding a breakfast that is nutritionally big enough to get me through my day.
This thinking about food is too much work! hee hee. Another resolution that is hard to put to your brain when you are used to being fat and lazy, but one worth the effort, I believe. I think it's almost snack time. yum, string cheese and banana with a few crackers sounds pretty good.

Dust Bunnies

I'm not sure anyone is truly a friend of dust bunnies. I've personally kicked them out of the house SEVERAL times in just the past year. I don't intend to invite them over for dinner and a movie, and I most certainly do not wish for them to attend my family functions at my house. But somehow, they end up all over my house hiding, eluding, evading.
So my "non-resolution" moment of the day was for cleaning today. I charged myself with removing the dust bunnies from my sweet 2 year old's room today. Knowing that I had kicked them out when I bumped her closet from 18 month clothing to 24 months not so long ago, I was shocked to find them EVERYWHERE. Yeah, they are multiplying like bunnies. Then I thought, oohh, I want to make sure to get the cool air intake taken care of. And as I sat here preparing to type this, I thought, drat! I forgot the ceiling fan. So, I have to climb my big butt up on a step stool (Fade to Wade in the background laughing as I shake and try not to shed tears due to my fear of heights).. and take care of the fan. An hour and a half after starting, I finally finished and was thrilled to watch those bunnies walk out the front door.
Then I walked into my bedroom and saw their cousins have moved into my room. Guess I'll get started on those next.....

Monthly Themes for 2011

In 2011, I thought I’d challenge myself to have a certain theme for each month. So, for the month of January, I would like to talk about resolutions as that is something so many people are working towards when beginning a new year. If you are a friend of mine or know me decently well, you will think, but Kim, you dislike resolutions. Why would you want to write about them for an entire month! You are right; thanks for paying attention. 
These won't be your normal resolution postings of I will lose weight (won't we all) or will use technology less (yeah, cause we don't live in a world that depends on it) or even will exercise more (really? What kind of crap are you selling yourself there!). Off my rant ;-) 
So let's move into resolution number one for our first day. I resolve to not resolve. Yes, you heard me right. I just announced a resolution theme and am refusing to follow it. I will not resolve to do anything different this year because today has been a day of feeling yucky and I cannot commit to anything at this time. 
Sound familiar? Something you've been meaning to do? Yeah, I didn't think so. I think many of us start the new year with all these grand ideas of being a better person, doing better things or accomplishing something you've been meaning to do. But if you think about it, we are the best procrastinators ever. I don't know the specific stats, but if you ask 10 of your friends their resolutions and then you ask those same 10 friends how many achieved those goals, I believe that at most, 2 of them would say they did. We are sinful, human creatures by definition, and therefore, we mess up. It's nice to have goals and strive to move forward with those, but let's be more realistic about who we are.
We cannot underestimate how easily we sin. So when we make those resolutions, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Even Paul, probably one of the greatest spiritual leaders, was struggling with his sinful nature.
Romans 7:15-20 
¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  

 So our battle continues as it has for thousands of years. Chocolate is always going to be a thorn in your side if it has always been a thorn in your side. Let's take today and resolve to not resolve and to accept our sinful  nature and acknowledge our failure.
I look forward to continuing this journey with you this month and to give you a chance to think about those resolutions you have selected.
 

Those in need

Today, I can't get this guy named Carl out of my head. He lives in Texas, but I don't know much about him.
Let me tell you the story of Carl.
This is from my friend's FB page. "A man knocked on our door tonight...I was at a friends, wrapping gifts we had bought for a different family who was in need. This man wanted to shovel our driveway (that didn't need to be shoveled) for money to buy his son some Christmas gifts. My heart just breaks."
Her husband helped him pick gifts from the gift closet they have as well as took him to get some cash. Later, they found out they helped Carl, but it isn't what you would expect. They helped a man who is actually a con man. He's been going around her area telling a sob story, including tears about how in need his family is, but from reading his past things from her friends, I can see something.
While my friends were taken advantage of, they learned a lesson about taking care of others despite all others. Today, I keep thinking about Carl and what needs he must have to be stealing from people like this. For what needs he has that are not met in his everyday life. Today, while I pray for my friend's family and their understanding of this unusual insight from God, I pray for Carl. I pray that God touches him in some way. That he is able to see humanity as a great, kind touch from God. That God is showing him through other Christians that he doesn't have to steal or lie to get what he needs in life. I pray that God be with him in this season. May the Lord bless you Carl and be in your heart!

Santa's Christmas Prayer by Alda Monteschio

On Christmas Eve the other night
I saw the most amazing sight,
for there beneath the Christmas tree
was Santa kneeling on his knee.

His countenance was different than
that all-familiar, jolly grin;
his head was bowed, with hand to breast,
and slightly tucked into his vest.

For there in a nativity was
Jesus and His family,
and as I heard him start to pray
I listened close to what he'd say.

"Lord, You know that You're the reason
I take pleasure in this season.
I don't want to take Your place,
but just reflect Your wondrous grace.

I hope You'll help them understand
I'm just an ordinary man,
who found a way to do Your will
by finding kids with needs to fill.

But all those centuries ago,
there was no way for me to know
that they would make so much of me,
and all the gifts beneath the tree.

They think I have some hidden power
granted at the midnight hour,
but it is my love for You
inspiring the things I do.

And so when they begin to open gifts
for which they have been hoping,
may they give You all the glory,
for You're the One True Christmas Story."

What shall we wish for today....

Today is one of those days that was just absolutely crazy insane busy; therefore, I am just now getting around to my Christmas Wish for the day. These are a lot harder than I once thought they would be. I have so many prayers and wishes for individuals that I would just love to put out there. It makes it difficult to pick just one. I would like to stick close to my FB video post earlier today at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OExXItDyWEY.
I look forward to the day when we can all stand in line to see Jesus. I love that this is a true story out of the mouth of babes. It is so befitting that a child would come up with this original thought. My Christmas wish today is that someone sees Jesus in their everyday and feels Him in their hearts. Let's all stand in line for Jesus. Let's all bring Christmas wishes true where we can show non-believers the Glory of the Lord!!!

Wishes for Violet

As I start this post, I wish I could have every wish I make this month come true like yesterdays. Today, while we celebrate something that seems big to us, but is really small potatoes a family grieves. My Christmas wish for Violet is peace. I haven't seen an update since yesterday, so I don't know what is currently going on.
Violet has been battling Central Neuroblastoma. She was doing well and even went back to school to start out the school year. An MRI even showed no cancer 3 months ago. Unfortunately, she began vomiting and a new MRI showed that the cancer is back and very aggressive. She was given weeks to months.
Violet is coming closer to the end. This precious 7 year old who has fought for the past year for survival is going to see an end to her short little life very soon. I say this with a heavy heart as we don't know if she is even still with us at this point. The family is working to keep her comfortable and enjoy every last precious minute they have with her. I wish a peaceful passing for her, but this is about an entire community who has embraced her and her family. I am praying for peace for the family and for the children at school. So many that didn't even know Violet are praying for her and the family. They need to feel the arms of Christ around them in this time of pain. Continued prayers are what I wish for Violet and her family.

Let It Snow!

So here we are December 1st and the first real snow of the year is here. How awesome is that! Very excited to see it and see what Sofia's reaction is going to be this morning when she finally wakes up.
So I've been thinking about what kind of theme we should go with this month and have finally settled on Christmas Wishes. I welcome my friends to share their wishes with me for my blog. (You can remain nameless if you wish :-)
Today's Christmas wish is for my sweet hubby. As we start this holiday season and move into December, I think of my generous husband and how much he wants to provide for our family and help heal the hearts of his previous co-workers. My Christmas wish for him is a return to work; to a job that is appropriate for his skill set, that challenges him appropriately and puts a smile on his face. That is my Christmas wish for today.

The Close of November

We are closing yet another month and starting a new one. As we come closer to December and have wrapped up our month of Thanksgiving, I want to remind everyone that we don't stop here. November and Turkey day are great reminders of being thankful, but that's not the only time we should be thankful. We should have a heart of gratitude all the time. I challenge you to find something you are thankful for each and every day. It is truly impossible to count all the blessings we have in life. Every day is filled with them. But the problem is that most people just live right through them, never pausing to be grateful for what they have. Each day there are a dozen things we can each be grateful for.Things as simple as I got up this morning. That in itself is beautiful. I woke up because the Good Lord decided today was to be another new day for me. He didn't have to do that, but he chose to do that. The coffee was brewed and smelled so very good. Some people do not have the luxury of  coffee every single day. There are a ton of them this morning already and will be a ton before my head hits the pillow tonight. That again, another blessing to be thankful for.. a pillow. But I digress. What I'm saying is that thanksgiving is not just one day out of the year. It is all year long. :-)

Z

Zzzzzzzzzzz....I am thankful for zzz's today ;-) Throughout this entire month, I have found there is so much to feel so very blessed for. I am one who actually struggles with sleep quite a bit. I sit silently at night, oftentimes, listening to the beautiful sounds of zzz's from my family. From the soft, quiet breathing of my Monkeypants or the quiet rasp of breath from my Sunshine to the growling snores that come out of Snuggle Pup and the Big Guy, there are all kinds of sleepers in our house and I love to watch and listen to them sleep. Knowing that any worries or stresses or childhood blips are gone in their sleep is such a peace of mind to me. It's also such a blessing when I can get sleep and lately with the blessing of having my sweet hubby home for a time, I've had the true blessing of being able to sleep later in the mornings than I'm accustomed to sleeping. I'll not know what to do when he goes back to work, but for the time being I will be thankful for what I have. :-)

Y

Yarn....I am thankful for yarn today (I'm thankful for much more, but it's our letter of the day). I love the fact that I am able to take something so simple and create a treasured item for family and friends. I crochet and being able to make blankets and scarfs, hats and sweaters. Even fun gag gifts (you know who you are ;-) and I know how much those who receive those items appreciate the work that goes into making them. I'm especially thankful this year as my gift list is more affordable. Since I started early, I have thus far been more productive and gotten much more accomplished. Thankful to have my yarn to make awesome things for those I love.

X

Xanadu.... Today I am thankful for one of the first works of beauty that brought me to love the English language and the world of imagination behind the pages of literature. Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Kubla Kahn"


"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea."


Coleridge's words were brought to him during a drug induced sleep. He had been reading about Kubla Kahn prior to sleeping. After waking, he feverishly started writing. After writing the first three stanzas of the poem, Coleridge was interrupted by someone who kept him occupied for an hour. He then was unable to recall the original dream to end the poem.

The mysterious person is one of the most notorious and enigmatic figures in Coleridge’s biography; no one knows who he was or why he disturbed the poet or what he wanted or, indeed, whether any of Coleridge’s story is actually true. But the person has become a metaphor for the malicious interruptions the world throws in the way of inspiration and genius, and “Kubla Khan,” strange and ambiguous as it is, has become what is perhaps the definitive statement on the obstruction and thwarting of the visionary genius.
So today, because well darn it I couldn't come up with another X word ;-) I am thankful for Xanadu.

W.

Wade....I think this particular day was a given. I love my husband. He is truly the greatest gift from God. I think about how we met and how he was truly a gift from God. I had left college (yeah for a boy). stupid, I know..but it was part of God's plan to make me who I am today. After some tough luck and rough situations, God led me back to school. I could have went anywhere, but He led me back to where I was before. Once back, all my friends had made other friends with other groups of people. Not a bad thing at all. ;-) My friend Katrina (who I adore for the choices she's made) was Wade's girlfriend when I went back. Unfortunately Trina had to transfer to another school as life would have it. I say unfortunately for her as she's an incredible person and knowing her makes me a better person. Anyhow, I got to know Wade in a snowstorm. For the first time in this history of the college, classes were canceled and the Blizzard of 1994 became part of history. Those who went to CC at the time remember it, I'm sure. Borrowing trays from the cafeteria so we could slide down the hill. What seemed like campus-wide snowball fights. Making snowmen outside of the dorms. A TON of fun! School was closed for a week, then the snow melted and the floods came and school was closed a little longer. Those of us stuck at campus made the best of it smelly or not (water was out for awhile). It was a gift of time. One that so often we don't find in college. God gave Wade and I the time to truly fall in love.
Here we are 16 years later still strong and still together. So many couples don't have what we have. We see it all the time, but I don't question it. I see it as a true gift from God that it is what He intended, a devoted husband who cares about me unconditionally.  Praise the Lord for the gift of the best husband a woman could ask for. I am so very thankful each day that I have him to keep me strong and to keep me grounded. Otherwise, you would find me in the clouds all day ;-)

V

Validation....Today I am thankful for the validation that we get from family and friends that our children are being raised in a Godly home with Godly principles. It feels good to know that we are doing a good job. I am thankful that we are able to get and give validation from time to time to our friends and from our friends.
Thank you everyone!!

U

Unconditional Love.... I spent a good portion of the morning debating what "u" word I could possibly use for today. I am thankful for a lot of things, as you can tell by my perusing of the alphabet. As I sat listening to Todd's sermon this morning, he mentioned unconditional love and I knew what I would be typing here. A parent's love is truly unconditional and I think about my Father in heaven and His truly amazing unconditional love. It truly gives me chills to think about the unconditional love of the Lord!
I think about the fact that I do things and I know they are wrong. OHH, don't tell me you don't!! We are all sinners. But think about it, isn't there something that you have done that would put your parents to shame? And yet, we don't have to shame. How about we look at some verses......

You may not know Me, but I know everything about you.                  Psalm 139:1

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.                                 Matthew 10:29-31

For you are My offspring.                                                                  Acts 17:28

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.    1 John 4:16

And I rejoice over you with singing.                                                    Zephaniah 3:17   

What an incredible joy to have someone that is always looking down on us and keeping our best interests at heart!! I look over those verses and I know that He is Lord and that He gives me unconditional love no matter what kind of mistakes I make. Praise be to God! 

T

Tasks....This is all associated with my online job. Work. That is what tasks are. Tasks= Work= Much needed money. 'nough said.

S

Sofia....Despite the fact that my precious angel has decided to be wild and crazy today, I am truly thankful for my blessed gift. Days like today when she strips herself naked in front of friends, Sorry Kasy and Trace, and throws a major temper tantrum when I do not allow her to yank on my favorite pink sweater, I still love her and treasure her. I appreciate that God thinks so highly of Wade and I to bless us this third (and final!!) time with a little girl. She is what my mother always wished on me.. A daughter just like me, so Heaven help us when she gets older if she's this moody now. But she's so much more. Her laughter makes all the men in my life light up. She walks into a room and commands attention, not by being ornery or anything like that, but just by being herself. She can be such a sweetheart and a doll baby. Her unspoken language with Alec and her gentle way with Owen when she knows he just needs a little of her time. She knows when to draw the line and when to push the envelope (not so much today though). In one week from today, my baby turns 2. And while I mourn for the loss of her babyness (I KNOW! I'm making up words), I treasure the big girl she is becoming. The potty training, word learning, temper tantrum opinionated young lady she is becoming. I am thankful for these first 2 years of molding her and showing her the Lord in her every day. :-)

R

Righteousness.... Some say we obtain righteousness by observing and obeying God's laws. We are acceptable to God when we do "good things."  However, Paul tells us in Romans 3:20 "Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin." Here we see that we can't place our faith in the Law and carry out the deeds of the Law in order to be in proper standing with God.
The Law only causes us to become aware of the fact that we are sinners. Also, the Law came many years after Abraham (who God declared righteous in James 2:23 "And the scripture was fulfilled that says, 'Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,' and he was called God's friend"). So then what do we have faith in?
Paul goes on to say, "But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." Paul declares that we are to have faith in Christ (in the work he did on the cross), and by doing so, our relationship, or our standing with God, is now as it should be.
True righteousness requires more than just faith. In James 2:24 it says, "A man is called righteous by the things he does, not just by his faith." We strive for righteousness.  Although faith is required to prove ourselves righteous, speaking about what we believe is what saves us. In Romans 10:10 it says, "It is this belief in your heart that makes you righteous, but it's your mouth, when it confesses this, that brings salvation."
For this today, I am thankful.

Q

Q-tips.... While this might seem like a strange thing to be thankful for, I truly love my Q-tips. I have a serious OCD issue with my ears. Most people don't even know this, but I am a Q-aholic. There is no real term for it, but I am well aware it is not normal to have such a severe distaste for ear wax that you have to clean them multiple (and I'm talking seriously multiple) times a day. At one point in our marriage, Wade had severe ear wax and it drove me insane to the point where I convinced him to let me get my Q in there and get it out. Well, having so much wax naturally and not caring, he said sure. That became a problem because he ended up with impacted wax on his ear drum from the attempt. With a trip to the doctor and a painful irrigation, problem solved. Right? Well, to this day he won't let me hear the end of it (excuse the pun). I'm forbidden to touch the children (as I would expect) and my obsession continues.
Last week, the world stopped spinning. Did you guys feel it? Seriously, I ran out of Q-tips and didn't have time to go to the store. I was close to knocking on neighbor's doors and start asking to "borrow" the beautiful cottony tubes. A trip to the store definitely helped, but I'm still reeling from it all if truth be told. So today, I have my beautiful Q-tips and am very thankful to have them.

P

Paper plates....***WARNING: TREES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG POST***
 I'm not talking those Styrofoam things that ruin the environment. I mean, true paper. Growing up, I remember that we had a portable dishwasher. That meant that if you wanted to be lazy, you couldn't be lazy. You had to roll over the dishwasher from the other side of the room, load it, hook it up to the sink, plug it in and then run it. After it ran, you were also in charge of undoing all of those actions to put it back. Too much work to be lazy. We used paper plates quite often, but if you went down to Grandma's house, you didn't use paper plates. After school snacks included a plate or a napkin. I don't think my Grandma would have minded paper plates, but I am certain Grandpa is rolling in his grave thinking that I wanted to use them in his house. hee hee. That's besides my point. I remember having Thanksgiving dinner a few years back and breaking out the paper plates to laughter and jokes about living the high life. Well, I'm not too good to use paper plates. They are awesome when it comes to taking care of our children and getting meals on the table quickly. Today I am very thankful for paper plates and the time saving they provide.

O

Owen....Today I am so very thankful for my middle angel Owen. What a pure joy for a Mommy to have in her life. My Owen is our dancer. He is the light in the day. I watch his loving way, and it makes me want to be a better person. He has such a big heart and already has such a passion for the Lord. I watch him singing his little heart out in the back seat of the van with his eyes closed, hands in the air praising the Lord. He is an inspiration and a wonderful little boy. 
When I was expecting Sofia, Owen asked me one day if Sofia would be her Daddy's princess. I said, yup. His next sentence really shows just what kind of person he is. He said, "Mommy, can I still be your princess?" I told him that he would always and forever be my princess. Such a sweetheart. He is my princess and while he may not like it when he's older, I love reminding him that he is ;-)

N

Nourishment.... Man, was I ever thankful for an incredible worship service at AGCC today. God truly always knows what we need. As I sat there, my tears brimming in my eyes, I felt the presence of God as if He was standing next to me in the pew. My eyes went to my friend Lori, and I lost it. I sat there praising the Lord and crying. Unable to really stop it. It was not a weeping for sadness. It was not only a weeping of joy, but one of relief, of completeness and wholeness. I cried because everything is all right.
Sometimes when we’re in the presence of God we do not pray with words but with a wordless response to the Holy. It could be laughter; it could be tears. We could experience prayer in our breathing, in our listening, in our singing, in our looking.
Our sermon series on prayer continues, and I think of the power of prayer and the nourishment it provides to us. We pray for the Lord to provide and to give us what we need. We pray asking specifically for what we are looking for and eagerly await a response. We are going to get an answer. It may not be what we think it should be, but we always get an answer.
Today, as I sat there shedding and then wiping my tears, I thought about our prayer as a family. We are asking God to heal our friends, those who are sick like Ms. Anita; those who are sad, like Ms. Karlene; those who are now in glory, like Ms. Helen. Our whole bodies join in prayer. And sometimes we cry. That is beautiful prayer too!

M

Mom....I am very thankful for my Mom today. What a praise to the Lord that her and Dad are going to be able to move up closer to us as she's an incredible Grammy. I am so very thankful to be closer to her as we get older and understand where we've been and where we are going.
Love ya Mom!

L

Little fingers....This morning, I sat watching Veggie Tales with Monkeypants and Snuggle Pup. Pup wanted Monkeypants to rub his back, but Mommy did it instead. As I sat there, Monkeypants decided to rub MY back. I felt those little fingers on my back being so sweet and rubbing and thought of her little personality. I am so thankful for those little fingers and the reminder that those fingerprints on the wall will be gone one day. Those little hands will no longer be reaching up for mine one day. Her little fingers attempting to sign I love you or night night. All no longer little one day. So today I am thankful for those little fingers and think it's a great day to take them to the park :-)
Children are a heritage from the LORD,
   offspring a reward from him.        -Psalm 127:3

K

Kindness....Today I am so very thankful for kindness. My sweet and wonderful husband - oh the emotions and words that just don't come to me. I know, very surprising, but I find myself speechless when I think of the incredible person he is and the love that I feel for him. Okay, so where does kindness fit into that? Well, yesterday, I sat nervously as my husband and all his co-workers awaited their fate at the office trying to find some kind of normality in the day. I texted him at one point and said, "Hoping no news is good news. I love you." He replied with "I love you." I knew. The minute I got that text, I knew he would be home soon and that he was one of the casualties of the company wide restructuring that is laying off tons of people. My heart broke for him. Not because I was worried or scared. Not because I thought negatively of him, but it broke because I know him. I know how he felt and the nurturing person inside of him was still more worried about how his boss was feeling at having to tell him or how our sweet friends at the office were handling not being told goodbye.
The day was nothing like we expected it would be, but we took the joy out of the day to move forward as God intended. It is not ours to question. We accept and move on. Here's the thing. By 5 pm, Wade had tears welling in his eyes and I saw how very overwhelmed he was, but it wasn't a bad overwhelmed. The kindness that showered us in such a stressful time was insane and magical. Job offers were emailed. Links to sites. Offers to assist with resume building. Love. Faith. And beautiful kindness. Friends from all over the country were reaching out. From prayers to just pure and simple smiles. His phone had to be recharged before we even had to pick up at school from all the calls and encouragement from true friends. His inbox and FB account were full of comments and positivity. We truly felt God's hand yesterday afternoon!!
And I have to say throughout the day, I felt my heart grow stronger and stronger for the man I already knew was wonderful and the man that I saw had touched so many lives. He's a special fella. He's a hard worker, and he's a phenomenal Christian husband and father.
In this time that could be so very stressful, we are not focusing on the negative. We are looking to the future and excited that God has decided it's time for some changes. Praise be to God and great thanks for the showers of kindness that we have seen in this wonderful time of transition!!!

J

Joy....I read a friend's post today and realized she is so right, so I am going to borrow some of her words and paraphrase. This is a very appropriate thing to be thankful for today amidst the uncertainty in our lives at this time. My friend said Joy is a choice and I thought, what? Hear me out now people. It is a choice. She is totally right. Let me quote from her a little...
"Joy is much different from happiness...true joy is not dependent on circumstance or situation. It is a feeling of peace and rejoicing in the Lord EVEN in the face of some of the toughest stuff this life has to offer. Happiness is temporary, fleeting, it does depend on circumstance. Happiness is not bad, it is just not the same as joy."
So I wanted to do as she has done and think about times in my life when I truly felt joy. It wasn't normally in times of happiness and not even necessarily in sorrow. It was more in times of being tried by The Lord. I remember when Wade was laid off from Nims years and years ago. I was a freelance writer barely working with an infant son. We were out of work and scared of what the future had for us, but instead of being upset or seeing it negatively, we looked in the joy of the situation. Wow, what a great opportunity to move closer to family and that's just what we did. Here we are 8 1/2 years later and we are better for going through that and choosing joy instead of the other alternative.
Things can get us down. It's okay to be sad and frustrated when life changes and you don't anticipate it. It's okay to be fearful, but I believe we should always look to God in those times. It's not easy and it's not a game of pretend. We have to truly believe that God is in control despite life.
My children have this cd and dvd and book that is a great reminder of what we should try to remember. "God is bigger than the boogie man." He is. No matter how tough times get or life is, God is bigger than all of it and NOTHING can happen that He is not able to redeem for His glory. As my friend says, "It is especially in these hard circumstances that we can be a testimony to His goodness by choosing joy."
Today, I am thankful for joy despite the troubles and I am very thankful for my friend Kristy for the great reminder. You are an inspiration to so many of us!
"you are to rejoice before the LORD your God in everything you put your hand to." Deuteronomy 12:18

I

Independence....I am thankful today for independence and all that that encompasses. Our ancestors worked very hard to earn our independence so that we could live our lives according to God's Word and not live in religious persecution as so many others do. We can go to the polls, both women and men, and vote for individuals we believe are going to run our country, state and local governments according to our beliefs. We are able to go to the church of our choosing without someone telling us who or how we worship. We are an independent nation who is blessed beyond comprehension from The Lord. I often wonder why God selected Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Richard Stockton, Thomas Stone and even John Hancock. What made these particular men, the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence, God's chosen ones to secure our freedom? Take Josiah Bartlett for instance. He was the second to sign (after John Hancock). He was a doctor in New Hampshire who got involved in politics and wasn't one to listen to the Royal Governor. Or William Williams who studied with his father, a pastor, and worked later as a merchant. Williams came late into the Continental Congress and didn't even vote for Independence. He was a replacement for the ill Oliver Wolcott. I wonder how God brought him to this place, a man who was a merchant for forty-four years before moving into the state Legislature later in life. Simple men by all accounts. And yet men that changed the course of history forever. God definitely led that group of men. God definitely had a hand in our independence and today, I am thankful for that :-)

H

Home....On the news last night, I saw a report of the area homeless shelters are full, and it isn't even the coldest it's going to be outside. I look up and down my street and see empty houses, two of which, I am aware were abandoned. I think of those families who thought they would be in their houses much longer. Today I am so very thankful for our home and a reminder from The Lord that it's not all about location. Families in the shelter are together. Families who have dealt with foreclosure are together. They are not located where they previously thought they would be, but they are together. Isn't home where our heart is? I think about my church. I enter the building and it's just like home. I feel loved and special there. I know that God is in that house and is in my heart. I walk into my own home where again, I feel loved and special. Home is where our heart is and is something we should be thankful for every day.
Thank you Jesus for living in my heart and showing me the way home.

G

Grace....God's Grace is enough. No other words needed.

F

Family....I am forever grateful and thankful for my family. It is a family that is always there for you. It doesn't matter if it's something like a child's activity or an emergency trip to the hospital. They are always there. I feel truly blessed to ahve the family that we have always there. Even if they aren't in the same area/state, they are on the phone checking on us and finding out how things are going. Thanks Grammy Norma ;-) God is so good to give us a great family :-)

E

Ears.... Today was a hard pick for E at first. Then once I sat down with my Bible and started to read, it all came to me. Without my ears, I couldn't hear. Without hearing, I couldn't enjoy that special giggle of my little girl or the little joke my great big boy just told. Or hear the wonderful sound of praise music coming from the back seat of my van.
This morning when taking "sunshine" to school, "snuggle pup" was listening to my Brandon Heath CD and "monkeypants" decided to sing along. So I hear her little voice singing words that aren't really words and snuggle pup started with the lyrics making sure his little sister can understand what he is saying. His favorite song, "Trust You" came on and I remembered my devotion and my thankful post for this morning. God had already led me to ears to hear, but this really cemented it. Out of the mouth of a 6 year old, as loud as possible, I heard these words...
I’m not gonna fight you anymore
Not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why
I shouldn’t trust you with mine
That's his favorite part and if you ask him why, he tells you that he loves the song because Jesus lives in his heart and since He died for our sins we should trust him without asking a bunch of stupid grown up questions. How wise!! And without ears, I would never hear that. Thank you Jesus! For your life. For my super smart kids. And For ears!!

D

Disturbances.... I am thankful for the disturbances in life, especially the little ones that make us pause in our daily routine. My Nanny's health is not as good as it used to be. She stumbles and falls and has been found on her apartment floor more often than not lately. To answer the problem, her doctor has put her in the hospital and then plans to put her into a nursing home. As we were going to run a quick errand before nap and then the dentist yesterday, I decided to talk to my boys about it. When I said that she would be going to a nursing home, my 9 year old, yelled passionately NO! I was taken aback at his reaction and it caused me to pause in this crazy routine. I was at my errand and I turned in my seat and asked him why he said no. He looked at me with those big beautiful baby blue eyes and said, "Mom, most people die when they go in a nursing home." He didn't have to say anything else. His eyes showed the pain and the memories of losing his other great-grandmother. I got out of the van and went to him to hold him. I told him that I love him and that if God chooses to take Nanny, then it is her time. We will be sad, but we understand that God blesses us with each day He allows us on this Earth. As I held him, my mind didn't think about the fine timeline I was on. It didn't even go to the fact that I was standing in the middle of a parking lot holding my child. All I could think was how thankful God gave me the ability to take pause in my life and console my child when so many other parents either don't have the time or don't bother to take it. Praise be to God for disturbances that we often see when we have children.

C

Coffee.... Today I am thankful for my coffee. I didn't use to be a coffee drinker, but now I couldn't imagine going without coffee for an extended period of time. Nor would my family enjoy that side of me. hee hee
I'm also a bit of a coffee snob. I love my Gevalia and have even ventured into store-bought Seattle's Best. When it comes to going out for coffee, Starbucks has my vote hands down. Yesterday I splurged and got a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Oh how I love Fall!!! The flavors, the enticement, the much needed jolt. Nothing deep in this particular blog entry, just the simple facts. I SO LOVE MY COFFEE!!

B

Bible.... For a long time, I thought reading the Word of God was an obligation, something I had to do. Even as a Christian, I felt it difficult to read the Bible and understand what I was supposed to take away from it. Today, I am thankful for The Word. God changed my heart and my outlook during a religious class in college. Dr. Faught taught me about stories in the Bible that I had never heard about. I am not a true religious scholar, but I love to read my Bible. I am thankful that God has allowed the compilation of such incredible stories that tell us about life in Biblical times and provide a guide to us for living a life as God intended.

2 Peter 1:20-21
 ²⁰Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.
 ²¹For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.

A

Alec....  Today I am thankful for my oldest child. Each day, he teaches me something new.. something different. His unique view of the world shows me so many of God's greatest gifts. He has such a talent for anything creative and his heart is as big as the sky. I spent time watching him play with his brother this afternoon. While he lacks in patience when it comes to that relationship, he showed so much love for his brother, allowing him to sit partially in his lap watching him play his DSi. He didn't get frustrated or upset as his brother kept screaming instructions into his ear. He only focused on showing him the new game and different moves he could make. I am thankful for the gift of my baby, no matter what age he gets and how frustrating being his Momma can sometimes be.
 

26 Days of Thankfulness

As a bit of an introduction, I have decided to take my friend, Jane's, lead and show all the reasons I am thankful. For the next 26 days, I will blog what I am thankful for and work my way through the alphabet. I hope this is an opportunity for my readers to think about their lives and despite any of life's challenges or frustrations and be thankful for the positives.
Let the positivity begin :-)

Growing Up

My Sunshine turned 9 years old last Friday. 9 !!  Imagine that. As I stood hugging him, I realized how tall he has gotten. His head now reaches my chin. As I held him, 9 years went flashing through my mind. Gentle reminders that my precious baby isn't even close to being a baby anymore......
His first teeth. His first words. His first steps. His first day of school. That little bit of independence that told me I was losing my baby. Now, I don't say that in a bad way. I just mean that a big boy is so totally different than a baby. He says things each day that helps me to know he's still my little guy, but his next sentence suddenly makes him into a big kid.
Today, I was taking him to school and he said, "Mommy, I'm starting to be a real man." Now, how can you be a real man and start a sentence with Mommy! Growing up and yet so far from being there!

On Being a Dog Mom

Well, I gladly took on the challenge to have two potty training toddlers at one time. A human one I am used to. The dog one, I'm finding quite challenging. He's a great dog. Don't get me wrong, but he thinks my monkeypants is another puppy, which roughly translate to chew toy on most days. This morning, he has chewed on Monkeypant's lovey (Spunky), several toys, a letter that is from Monkeypant's room (I have no clue how it even got down, his dog bed and both Monkeypants and Snugglepuppy. It wouldn't be so bad, but it's starting to frustrate the children when they become the object of his teeth. So, needless to say, he has been kenneled for a little while and we are planning to sign him up for puppy training before he becomes the death of all of us.
This too shall pass, right? ;-)

On Being a Mom

Sometimes we are just too busy. Despite the fact that our children sometimes change our plans and cause breaks in the day we would rather not have, they are such true blessings from The Lord. We shouldn't have to remind ourselves of that! But oftentimes we do :(
Take this morning for instance. He's almost 9. Responsible young man. I get a phone call from him at school asking me to bring his library book that he forgot. OH, and he needs it in 10 minutes. So, I get shoes on the pipsqueaks and look for a book that I have no clue where it is. I start to get frustrated and then I think about a local little girl who passed away from cancer not so long ago. I think about her mother and wonder if she wishes to get a call from Faith again. If she aches to hold her little angel once more. If something as insignificant as a forgotten library book would bring tears to her eyes.
I am humbled by The Lord every day when He reminds me that I am truly blessed. There was a time when I was told there would be no children. But here we are 14 years later with 3 of the greatest kids a Mom could ever pray for. Today, I am thankful to God for the reminder all in a library book.
 Father Jesus,
Thank you. Thank you for the joys of being a parent. Thank you for stopping my life from time to time to remind me that I have a true blessing and a true calling as a Mom first and foremost.  Amen

Lead Me Beside the Still Waters

God has been leading me lately and I question so much. It's so hard to know that I am 36 and still don't know the exact place God has for me. I keep praying and asking and am having the hardest time listening. I pray that The Lord opens my ears so I can hear him.
I have tried so many things and while teaching is something that can be considered a gift, God has led me away from that and I'm okay with that. He is leading me to write a lot lately and that I so truly enjoy and love. I have some great validation right now that my writing is actually making a difference and for that, I am very thankful.
This is the first time in a long time that I have felt calm about something. That I have not felt like I'm crazy busy even though I am. When I'm interviewing and writing and putting people's stories into print. Praise The Lord for this guidance and the still waters. I most certainly have needed it.

Another chapter

Can't help but feel sad today. Lost a few more daycare children because of communication issues. Truly wish I had known there were any concerns, but that's all water under the bridge. Can't change what we don't know about. I just keep praying for the family to find someone that is a better fit for them and that my family is able to heal from the sadness of losing friends. It's hard when you care so deeply about children and your children care so deeply and then all you can say to them is that they aren't coming back.
Well, onward and upward. Can't feel bad forever. Just have to go on.

Esther

VBS is that time of year when we not only get to be kids, but as a teacher, I get to go back to The Word and focus on Bible stories that I wouldn't necessarily be studying. Last night's lesson was Esther. From that lesson I came out thinking how incredibly brave it was to do the Will of God.
When was the last time you prayed for God's Will? When was the last time you told God that no matter what, you were there for Him and what He wanted? Those are the questions that came to me a I ended my own lesson. I am not a young lady who has to pretend not to be a Jew. I am not a young lady who has to pretend she wants to be at the palace to be recognized by the king as "the one." I am not a young lady who was selected as The Queen, nor am I the young lady who steps out on faith to tell the king the truth when she knows it could lead to her death.
So, why is it so difficult to let go? I think it is in our nature to question everything and control all situations. So, today I say the following prayer as Esther would have to lead me on my way.
Dear God,
Today I do not know Your Will. I do not know what you wish for me. If it should be a particular direction, I will not question you. I will not argue. I will be happy with your decision. Please help me to be the best I can be in that direction.
In Your Son's Name.  Amen

Getting caught up

With so much going on each day, it is so easy to get caught up in life and forget to notice the little things. God shined on my morning and gave me one of those little things this morning. After dropping Owen off at Safety Town and heading to the tire store for rotation and alignment and then to the car wash to vacuum and wash the van and to the grocery store for milk, I got a moment to just pause. Yes, it was a red light, but it was a pause nonetheless. Take a look at what God showed me in my rear view mirror.
Thank you Jesus for the brief reminder to be grateful in all the rush around of the week of Safety Town, VBS and preparations for vacation. My children are so beautiful and such a wonderful gift. Brings me back to my email address as a constant reminder of that.
³ Children are a
gift from the Lord;
      they are a reward from him.
                                       Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

Joy and Pleasures

You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
— Psalm 16:11 NRSV

This week is VBS week at my church. While it is an exhausting time for all of us, it is also a pleasure like none other. It reminds me of VBS when I was a child. It allows those of us who are adults to enjoy the time as if we are children again. When was the last time, you wore a crazy colored wig and bouncy antennae on your head and made a mask to put on a super persona!!! Can we say fun or what!! hee hee.
I have the joy of having 1st and 2nd graders (going into that grade) this year and wow!! Seriously, that's about all I can say about my kids. From the ultra quiet to the super sweet and the overly talkative, there is a wide realm of students in this group.
Our theme for the week: Hero Headquarters. What a pleasure it is to remember that Our Lord is our Hero and that through Jesus we can defeat Satan and achieve that super status!! This week, my prayers is that my kids in my group and all the children participating can feel the touch of The Lord on them and know that He is always with them through troubles and tribulations as well as the Joys and Pleasures.

On Being Fat

Well, there comes a day when you wake up FAT.. There I said it.
I know!!! It doesn't just happen like that, you may say. But really it does. One day you are this hot and sexy being (not sure I've ever been THAT, but I digress) and the next you wake up all lumpy bumpy and cottage cheesy. You may think I am being funny, but I am far from it. This is serious, people.
I'm fat and suddenly I realize how fat I really am. So my mind says, what now chicky poo. Now, before you start thinking (those who really know me) and realize I've been fat for sometime, yes, that might be the case, but I didn't KNOW that I was fat and either my friends have all been blind or in the same denial as I have been in.
When you wake up and you can't fit into your fat clothes and realize you are going on a trip to a "beachy state" in a few weeks with NOTHING to wear, it's time to do something. And, no, I'm not meaning pull out the chocolate. Although, I started to until I realized that probably is what got me here.
So I put on my big girl panties, cause that's all that fits, and decided I was going to do something about this.

Who is with me girls? Who can I depend on to tell me to suck it up and move those extra 5 steps or eat that salad instead of the fattening and incredibly sweet roll that is calling my name? I'm waiting!!!!

What is the Lesson Here?

Each day the Lord brings us is an opportunity to live up to the Christian we are made to be, but sometimes I just can't see it. Yesterday was one of those days. Trials and tribulations can be difficult.
1. Wade's brakes went out on his car.
2. The motor in our new dishwasher went out
3. One of the children I babysit will not be returning without a miracle from God. His Mother lost her job and hasn't found a new one in a week. Frustration because they waited until 5:30 at pick up time to let me know he won't be back on Monday. Talk about being tested.

So, this morning, I started the day off on the positive note of donating blood and am trying to get through all this without fear of losing $1600 worth of income (some from the job I lost -- well I know where it is, but it's not mine anymore-- last month). So I ask The Lord, what is the lesson here? As we try to figure this all out and Wade struggles with a strain in his back, how much more do you want us to learn and where do you want us to go from here........

I never felt like this before

My 2nd grader has his last day of school today which normally comes with excitement. This did not come the same way this year and really threw me for a loop. Just before bed last night, he came and asked to talk to me in private. He said he didn't want to leave 2nd grade or his teacher. I knew there was a connection between the two of them, but I just didn't realize how strong he was feeling.
"I never felt like this before," he said. My heart broke as I watched my 8 year old struggle with the pain of knowing he is growing up.... A pain I feel daily as I watch him mature and become a little man. I watched him crying over a loss of another year of school, another group of friends, a teacher who has become an ally. I held him as he cried it out and reassured him as best as a Momma can do all the while knowing the truth is that once it is all said and done, it will be forgotten like any other day.

Fun Fun

So I had a friend come over yesterday. We had some fun, but I have to question what kind of great friends I got when they come over for me to feed them and their kids lunch and never question that maybe they should have brought something. That's after going through a half a gallon of milk all by themselves. Seriously, I love my friend, but it's always the same thing with her. They always come when it's food time. I know she has a tough time sometimes, but there has to be a point when you tell yourself enough is enough. I have no clue how to or if I should even broach the subject.
Anyhow, had to vent and since no one actually reads my blog, this is the perfect place. hee hee.

Hope

I ache for you, knowing the life you are used to.


I hate knowing you are in pain and I can't fix it.

My heart feels pain that words can't describe.

You have taken care of me for so very long that my

mind cannot imagine how helpless you are now feeling.

Everyone continues to live around you.

You wonder if they think of you stuck in the house.

                              Alone.

If I could fix it, you know I would.

If I could make it all better, you know I would.

If I could work wonders, you know I would.



All I know is that Our God can fix. Our God can make all better. Our God can work wonders.

Growing Up So Quickly

My heart swells with joy and sadness all at the same time as I look at my little one. She's growing up so fast that I barely can contain myself. How is it that the little baby I nurture and love can possibly be this walking, talking, temper throwing toddler! I cannot fathom.

Life throws you Curves

Here we are a year after my last post well aware that life has been making things quite tricky to do much of anything. I keep looking at my children and asking where has the time gone. It's insane to know my favorite daughter, the baby is walking and getting into trouble. My favorite youngest son is going to start Kinder in the Fall. And my ever faithful, favorite biggest boy is headed for big deal 3rd grade territory. I remember changing the boys' diapers and imagining what they would be like. Now, I get to see and some days I don't like it. Others, wow, they are incredible.
I'm hoping to try to blog something each day about my babies and how they are growing or a story or two. I can journal all I want, but on here it seems more permanent for some reason. My mental struggle is what keeps me away. I can't keep them young forever. Oh but if only I could.......