89

That is a magic number for me right now. What, pray tell, am I talking about? Push ups. No joke, Ladies and Gents. I did 89 push ups this morning!!!!!!! That's not counting my additional pull ups (I use bands) or abdominal work. I'm mush right now to be honest, but I feel so good.
Those of you who know me from grade school or high school know I don't do push ups. I was the one in high school that would watch for Ms. Spangler to turn her back so I could stop. Seriously, that was me. And I really wasn't all that fat back then. Well, not compared to now. I did modify what I did, but they were real floor push ups (just with my knees down) and as I write this run-on sentence, I am so darn proud. I cried on the last set. Because it hurt? Well, that could be answered yes, but that's not it. I cried because this fat chick did it!!!!
Six months ago I couldn't have imagined this. Six months ago, I was content to just keep the way I was going. What changed? It's always hard to say. For the first time, I'm not making excuses. And I'm not GOING to make excuses. 89 Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's see how much I can improve over the next 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. FOREVER!!!!

Not supposed to Laugh

"You're not going to be the best man at my wedding!"

Seriously? That is what a 9 year old yells to his 6 year old brother when he's mad! I know I'm not supposed to laugh at that, but typing this is the only thing that is keeping me from one of those LOL gut-wrenching laughs. They are cleaning up the corner of my office where they keep toys in order to go out front to play on their wheels. They don't clean well together. We've tried it before and always have to separate them. They just have different opinions of what clean means. But this moment cracked me up. An area that should take them 5 minutes to clean up has now taken 20 and ended in tears from both and that outburst from my oldest.
It has me wondering what kind of hateful things my sister and I once said to each other. I seriously don't remember. I'm sure my Mom can tell me, but I prefer to remember things as just random fights without any details. I hope my boys don't remember this either. But I will. And when Alec asks Owen to be his best man (or at least I hope he does) I will remember this and smile.

Delayed, but not Failed

I refuse to use the word failed at this point because, in truth, I haven't failed anything. You, my friends are about to go on a journey with me though.
As many of you know, I had a complex sprain to my wrist at the beginning of a life changing workout program. I saw such promise and hope for the good things to come. I got a taste of the Glory of God in reward for my hard work. Then my setback. In the 4 short weeks of doing p90x, I lost 18 pounds and gained more confidence than I've had in years. I was no longer suffering from insomnia, I no longer felt ankle pain and I had more energy than I've had in years. I suddenly had a desire to do things with my children and the drive to actually get out and do it.
Did I have a setback with my injury? Sort of. But I let myself get worked up and off track. I did gain a few of the pounds back, but am only currently standing at five pounds up from that. So, I can proudly say that in my 4 weeks and subsequent about 7 weeks I have lost 13 pounds and have a renewed strength to keep going.
So, my new journey that you will be going with me starts officially August 1st with a new weigh in and measurements as well as pictures (debating when those will be posted ;-). I will be blogging my journey and my commitment to life change that I welcome you to  join me in. Is this particular workout for everyone? Nope, but I hope I am able to challenge those of you who wish to walk this walk with me to do bigger and better things and at least start moving. You are worth it and so am I. Believe it!

Truth!!!

This evening, I got angry and I have to say, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Especially when it is something that attacks God!! Listen here folks! I am here to say that your lies are not ones that I nor my children will follow. I am here for the truth. Jesus was born. He died and He rose again for US. To save us from our sins from your lies and your hate. You cannot affect me and I will fight to the death for my children's souls.
Whew. Okay. So sorry my friends, but I am really angry. We were watching what grandpa would call the squawk box tonight and thought we would catch the new game show, "It's Worth What?" Good show until the producers angered me. One of the items was from like 1500 B.C.E. Wade and I looked at each and were like huh? Alec said it was Before Christ Existed, which I thought was totally sweet. I looked it up, and my blood started boiling.
The official definition is as follows
Definition: Abbreviation for 'Before Common Era', a non-religious alternative to the use of B.C. in designating the first period of the Gregorian Calendar, the era of prehistory and much of antiquity.

You try to take religion out of our schools. You try to take it out of our government. You try to take it out of our homes and even our churches sometimes. Listen here and listen close. You will NOT take it from my family and you cannot rewrite history!! It is HIS STORY. Not yours.
I have felt this super strong desire to write about this since Bible study last night, but this has sent me over the edge.
Our country was built on religious freedom. Those of you who aren't aware of the Mayflower Compact and what it REALLY said as opposed to what history books teach our children it is put at the bottom of this post.
Why is it our society is so worried about offending everyone BUT us. As a Christian,  I am offended tonight. I am angry. Stop trying to take God out of everything and open your eyes because you are believing lies, people. God is EVERYTHING and He loves you despite your lies. Our founding fathers knew it. Just take a look at the text and you will see it. As Christians, we need to be strong in our faith and strong in our pursuit of the truth. Those who do not believe do not deserve to be persecuted, but they do have the right to be enlightened. It is not our place to shove it in their faces as they shove it in ours. We should encourage them to believe and pray for them because that is our strongest weapon against the lies. So tonight, I pray for the writers and everyone involved in that game show. I pray that the Lord opens their eyes and their hearts and helps them to see past the lies and go with the proven facts. Jesus lived on this Earth. He died for our sins and was raised from the dead so that we may live. Praise be to Him!!  Please see note below***

Mayflower Compact

"In the name of God, Amen. We whose names are under-written, the loyal subjects of our dread sovereign Lord, King James, by the grace of God, of Great Britain, France, and Ireland King, Defender of the Faith, etc. Having undertaken, for the glory of God, and advancement of the Christian faith, and honor of our King and Country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia, do by these presents solemnly and mutually, in the presence of God, and one of another, covenant and combine our selves together into a civil body politic, for our better ordering and preservation and furtherance of the ends aforesaid; and by virtue hereof to enact, constitute, and frame such just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience. In witness whereof we have hereunder subscribed our names at Cape Cod, the eleventh of November [New Style, November 21], in the year of the reign of our sovereign lord, King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth. Anno Dom. 1620." **** Please note I did not insert any references to God in this compact. They were written by those who came over on the Mayflower. They came here for the glory of God. How about we honor their sacrifice and give praises to God for the gift of this incredible land they paved the way through for us because we all owe them a debt we can never pay. You are history. You live it each moment. How are you going to live this day? Tomorrow? Are you going to sit quietly while others are feeding lies? Or are you going to bravely move forward and challenge those lies? I say, anyone who disagrees with me, GREAT! Let's talk. I'd love to show you where my facts come from.

Special Moments

Sometimes a moment happens in this world that we can never prepare ourselves for. That moment came for me yesterday. Papaw was laid to rest yesterday. No, he's not related to me by blood, but that never mattered. He always accepted me and was always the kindest man. It also helps to see the love and genuine respect he gets from absolutely everyone he meets. He is a sepcial man who will truly be missed, but there is more to this than that.
Sometime in the afternoon, Jan asked me to go back to Granny's room to see if she was sleeping or not. 
Granny was awake when I checked in on her. She saw me there and speechlessly, I stepped further into the room. I was suddenly like the little kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar. After 17 years around this family, I know my place with her. As all spouses of the grandkids, we are accepted but always an outsider. I moved on tentatively.
"I was just checking to see if you need anything," I stammered as I walked in the room.
As she reached for me she said, "I love you, Kim" and pulled me into a tight embrace. I have never heard her say that before, and I didn't know how to respond. I cannot even start to express the love I felt in that very moment. Rare to see me at a lack of words, but there I was without them.
"Those babies so love their Papaw," she said.
"We all do Granny."
"What am I going to do without him?"
As the tears came, I held on tight and reassured her that Papaw is watching out for her and that one day, a long time from now she will be reunited with him. My heart broke as I thought of the 60 years together and how very lost this strong woman must be feeling.
I spent the next ten minutes holding the one woman who I had always thought hated me in my arms as she clung tight to me needing a reassurance that I hadn't expected to be the one to make.
We talked about how Papaw was no longer no longer in pain and was always a very patient man. We talked about the sweet rest he would have in Heaven and how he is in better hands now. We talked about how he is forever in her heart and would wait for her to catch up. We held each other so tight and so long that I could feel her ache.
I know her pain. I know her loss. But no one can ever understand losing your one true love until they go through it. I knew I couldn't even start to touch that pain, so at that moment I said the one thing that laid on my heart. I looked in her eyes and told her that we all are nothing without God. Moving forward can only be done in His strength and in His time. We hugged really tight once again before I told her to try to rest before leaving the room.
I will never forget that moment with her and today, I pray for her loss and her forward motion as she tries to face each day without the love of her life.
We don't know how she will move forward at this point, but God gives us strength of heart just when we need it most. I know He is with her, and that gives me comfort. Friends, hug someone today. Give them a smile. Tell them that even if they are completely lost in this world, God loves them. And be that example of God's love..be the Christian He wants you to be.

Almost there

I had a friend make a simple post on Facebook that brought instant tears to my face. It was a link to a blog article that simply stated 18 Summers.
I have been dreading the end of the year because it never fails, my children spend about 90 percent of the summer fighting. But those words just changed it all.
We have 18 Summers with our children. 
Take that in for a second. 18 precious years that seem so very long, but in the scheme of things are so short. When you think about the short time we actually have, it's hard to digest. It seems like just yesterday, I was sitting in my recliner in Peoria, Illinois rubbing my belly wondering what my precious Alec was going to look like and what kind of personality he would have. Today, I realized we are on his 9th Summer. Suddenly I wonder has it been enough. We are halfway there, but did I make each summer count for him!
We always think we have plenty of time, but do we really! We often fill our summers with the continuance of insane schedules. All kinds of things.. that are just that.. things.
This year, I have all intentions of getting up early and getting my work done for the most part when my children are still in bed. I don't want the computer to be all they remember about their summer. I want them to remember playing in the sprinkler, eating popsicles and going to the park. I want them to remember homemade ice cream and special time with their grandparents. I want them to remember sweet summer rain and playing in it.  I want them to remember like I do because memories never fade, so we really need to make them count.

Unexpected Sources of Peanuts

As I contemplated what to share today, I thought of things that surprised me when we first found out about Owen's allergies. What all foods peanuts were in. It's crazy, quite honestly, the number of things. We were so very blessed to be newly diagnosed when the FDA passed regulations regarding food labels. They clearly had to list those top allergens, like peanuts. And now have to say that they were manufactured on shared equipment. That in itself is a whole other can of worms.
But what kinds of foods have peanuts in them besides the logical, peanuts and peanut butter? Let's take a look at this individually.

• Sauces such as chili sauce, hot sauce, pesto, gravy, mole  sauce, and salad dressing - most often these are better and healthier homemade, so that is something to consider when purchasing sauces.
• Sweets such as pudding, cookies, and hot chocolate - This particular group isn't as surprising when you think of cookies and then pudding, but the hot chocolate threw us for a loop.
• Egg rolls - A lot of Asian cooking contains nuts. We avoid all Asian restaurants when Owen is with us to be proactive.
• Potato pancakes - This one surprised me at one point. My recommendation is to save your own mashed potatoes and make them yourselves. ;-) Again, homemade is always better when dealing with food allergies. Only you can control the ingredients in your foods.
• Pet food - Dog food and bird seed are two big culprits for having peanuts as an ingredient. Many dog's enjoy the taste of peanut butter. It's added protein to foods can be invaluable, but you have to be careful not to purchase those foods that include it. I say that because, imagine your dog ate his food and then "kissed" a peanut allergy kid. That can cause a severe reaction!!
• Specialty pizzas- Again, homemade is so much better. It's always a good rule of thumb to ask about ingredients. If they can't tell you, it's not worth it.
• Asian and Mexican dishes - As I said before, many Asian dishes have peanuts in them, as do Mexican dishes. Best rule of thumb is to avoid.
• Some vegetarian food products, especially those advertised as meat substitutes
• Foods that contain extruded, cold-pressed, or expelled peanut oil, which may contain peanut protein - Many allergists will actually tell you that you can have peanut oil, but they aren't specific that some peanut oils like the one listed here actually have those peanut proteins that individuals are allergic to.
• Glazes and marinades - These are very similar to sauces. They just aren't worth it for the most part.

Who doesn't grow up excited to go to the ice cream parlor to get a scoop with Pap or Ms. Nancy (she was our neighbor who would come get me and my sis and take us to Dairy Queen after we already had our jammies on- the shock ;-). Such fond memories)? Well, Owen, that's who. And kids like him. Dairy Queen is a dangerous place for him, actually. Ever watch them make blizzards, throwing chocolate candies (the ones with the peanut butter in them) around like they are nothing. There is cross contamination everywhere in that place, and they mark it as such everywhere. Graeter's? Who in Ohio doesn't just love that place? Owen, again. How sad that I remember going up there to get ice cream the entire time I was pregnant with him. We lived just across the tracks from there and it was such an incredible temptation, but the scoops are shared. We have been there a few times, and they are always incredible about getting a clean scoop from the back for us. But it's a nervous place for us.

And speaking of chocolate. You all know those orange wrappers. Owen knows them too. Sitting at baseball practice a few weeks ago, I saw someone open one of those and started to tell Owen to be careful when he calmly looked at me and said, "Mom, orange wrapper, be careful." hee hee. My little boy is growing up and knows what to avoid. I'd be in trouble if Reese's ever changed the color of their wrapper. But it's not just the orange ones. Hershey's? Typically a no-no. The big packages that have 6 full sized bars in them, those are the safe ones, manufactured in clean facilities. And chocolate chips are another item to be careful of.
The list actually could go on and on and on, but I hope I've given you thought about the ingredients you put in your food. I already shared what has and could happen again if Owen were exposed to peanuts. It could be worse next time. Remember, nothing changes without education. Make sure that you be proactive and educate yourself. I focus on peanuts because those are the worst in our house, but the seven common allergens that are severe are peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, milk, fish and shellfish. These are all life-threatening as well as others, so try to be mindful when you have dinner guests or are participating in a bake sale even.

Food Allergy Awareness Week

Food allergies are dangerous. If I don't get any other point across this week about them, please take that one piece of information and always keep it in the back of your head.
I'd like to take you to a dark day in our lives to show you the danger. Going back to December 4, 2009. It was a day like any others; running around ragged and trying to get everything done we needed to. That evening was Owen's special Christmas program at preschool, and we were all excited. We got all the kids together and went to enjoy the show. The preschool is awesome, first of all, and have a great organization to each event they have. Cookies are shared at the end of the performances so everyone has a chance at fellowship. I remember watching that program and being in awe of my big boy in his performance.
Once it was all done, the boys went with Wade to get some juice and cookies (please remember the preschool is a peanut-free environment) while I changed the baby's diaper. When the girls joined the boys, I saw they were already seated eating their cookies and didn't think anything of it at first as I was looking but not really seeing. Then I saw the one thing a food allergy kid Mom never wants to see and my heart stopped.
I saw my baby boy putting a cookie in his mouth that I knew was one that typically had peanut butter in it. Wade said that I became some strange super woman who smacked the cookie from his hand and shoved a Benadryl down his throat all in one second. Then I went in search of Ms. Julia, our preschool director. I needed to know what was in those cookies. I needed to know if he was truly in danger or if I was over-reacting. *Please note that Wade allowed the boys to get their own cookies and as a man, isn't aware of the typical ingredients in most cookies. He thought the cookie was sugar cookie. Remember, peanut-free environment.
After a few agonizing minutes and an announcement, my worst fears were confirmed. It had peanut butter in it. We called 911 and waited for the paramedics in the hall, praying we wouldn't have to use the epipen. I sat there holding Owen and making him repeat his alphabet. We started that to determine if we could hear a change in this voice or his breathing. We thought it would help us to know if it had gotten bad. The paramedics came and were great with him. They said while his heart rate was up, he seemed fine. Just watch him and the best thing would be for him to throw up. We went back in and felt better but not 5 minutes later, Owen threw up everywhere and started breaking out in hives. The reaction was continuing, and it was getting worse. Our preschool family was so very concerned as were we. We decided to stop at Station House 1 (the main fire station in our area) on the way home to have them check him out. When I brought him in, the 6 guys standing around understood my concern, but again, only his heart rate was elevated. They recommended more Benadryl and watching him. We took him home and did what they told us.
My heart said it was wrong. As I held Owen and prayed harder than I have ever prayed before, I felt my baby boy weaken and watched him transform before my eyes. He went from his beautiful pasty white winter skin to this horrendous red rash that covered him from head to toe. He was burning up suddenly and I was at a loss for what to do. We called friends for Alec and Sofia and rushed Owen to the emergency room.
That night is so much of a blur. The nurses tried to give him oral medication, but he couldn't keep it down. The doctor finally put the "straw" (iv) as they told Owen into his arm and pumped him full of steriods and epinephrine. They were fighting to save my baby's life, and I was helpless to do anything. They said his organs were the first to react to the peanuts. He was having an internal reaction rather than one we would normally see. He was in anaphylactic shock the minute the first paramedics were on the scene, but none of us could see it. Every reaction is different, but Owen's wasn't typical or was it easy to spot.
We spent a good portion of the night praying over our little boy before I finally sent Wade home because we knew he had to go to work the next morning. I remember him waking up the next morning and squeezing my hand. My heart burst with love as he told me he was hungry and tired and wanted to know when we were going to be able to go home. As any of my Mom friends can attest to, seeing your child in pain is one thing, but if you ever see your child fight for his life, you have seen one day too many.
This wasn't just over with the discharge from the hospital. You have to remember that his father gave him the cookie. Wade felt guilty; a guilt that no Daddy should ever have to feel.  He didn't mean to do it; it was an accident. Owen doesn't remember that night, thank goodness, but he does remember the cookie. And he remembers the days and months after of being sick and eventually (6 months later) being diagnosed with asthma because his lungs never fully recovered from the reaction. He actually shys away from cookies now because he does know what can happen.
Our baby is still alive, but the lesson from this story is that ignorance can cause death. The mother that ignored the signs and reminders that were posted everywhere that there to be no peanut products included in the cookies.. the mother that put my child's life in danger.. She chose to bring those cookies. She chose to ignore the warnings. She could have killed my child. Food allergies are dangerous, but equally as dangerous is not being careful. We learned many lessons that night, but the most important is that we need to be diligent to teach Owen how to live in a peanut world. It's everywhere, and no matter how determined I am to keep him safe, I cannot possibly get rid of the peanut industry (although I would love to). So, I prayed and determined that the lesson I could take from God in all this was that it is my job to make sure anyone I have contact with is educated and knows how severe food allergies can be.
Food allergies are dangerous. Food allergies can kill. Be alert. Be safe. and Be AWARE.

You want me to put what where and do what?

I believe my title says it all. So, I have worked super hard to get control of my eating, as many of you know, but I felt like it was time to start working on the whole exercise thing. Yes, that was the only 8 letter word that I considered worse than cursing. But I have been walking and added working out last Thursday. Doing really good and decided to plunge right into the P90X workout that Wade decided it was time to get.
Tony is his name. He's actually quite motivating. Another friend of mine thinks he's annoying. I can see that, but I marvel at his form and yeah, well, he does have a body that reminds me of a Greek god. I'm not looking to get ripped, although, that would be really cool one day. I'm looking to get fit, and P90X does that for people. Am I ready to do all the workouts, heck no!! I don't know a skinny person ready to do all the workouts. After doing some of the "easier" (Whatever) workouts the past few days, I decided to suck it up and start the actual process today. I did chest and back as well as the ab ripper. HOLY CRAP. While my calves are hurting from yesterday's jump roping exercises, thanks to You Tube (Great place to get workouts btw), I have to say my arms are already sore and my abs will never be the same.  I had no clue I even had muscles in some of those places!!
But I'm one step closer to the right direction. I am sure it would please Bob (yeah, I'm a Biggest Loser fan) to know that I'm starting the process and working hard.
So tomorrow is another day, and I can't wait to see what plyometrics are. I think I am in for some insanity tomorrow ;-) I will have to update you when I survive and if I can still walk when this is all over.

Thank you!

Today is a day to thank our service men and women who have found victory on the battle field. That being said, I do not wish to offend by saying the rest of this, but this is NOT a day to celebrate!!!
As an American, I can say that it is most satisfying to know that there are great individuals out there protecting our country and doing their job. For that, I am very thankful. As a Christian, I cannot help but think that God is a little sad today.

The Bible says that God never rejoices at the death of the wicked. "Say to them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, people of Israel?’" Ezekiel 33:11
If we are to be Christlike, then we must not rejoice in the death of Bin Laden, the death of the unsaved. It is a sad thing when someone dies and goes into Hell. No Christian who has God's love in their heart should be glad to see anyone go to Hell. Many people rejoice that sinners are burning, but God is not pleased about it. God does not want ANY soul to perish in Hell.
"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

I know this isn't popular thought today, but I can't help but be sad with God today. I see His tears in our rain. I say a prayer to thank God for the individuals who protect our country and even those who have "brought down the enemy," but I will not choose to celebrate the death of a sinner and the condemnation to Hell.

We sit numb....

You know the feeling. We didn't just watch a man die here. We watched our Jesus die. We saw Him hang from the cross. We watched him suffer. We fear the Jewish leaders. We hide from them hoping to save ourselves. It's the day after, and we sit here numb.......

There isn't much information in the Bible about the Saturday after. It is a day meant for rest and reflection because on this day Jesus "rested" in the tomb. This Silent Saturday is a long day. A long long day. It represents life as it is for all of us in so many ways. Though we like to say that we live on the other side of Easter and that of course is true in the ultimate sense, it is also true that we live somewhere between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

The crucifixion is behind us, but death is still with us. The final victory lies somewhere in the future. Every funeral reminds us that the final enemy that will be destroyed is death. Death was defeated by Jesus, but it has not yet been destroyed. That happy day is still in front of us.

Get ready!!! Something is about to happen that hasn't happened yet!! Thank God!!!! Praise the Lord that we are not moving back toward the crucifixion. It may be Saturday, but we're moving toward Easter. Sunday's coming. All we have to do is hold on a little while longer and Sunday will be here.

I say Keep the Faith! Yesterday our Lord was crucified. Today his body lies in the tomb. Tomorrow he rises from the dead. Saturday can seem like a long day. It is! But be positive. The crucifixion is behind us, and Saturday will not last forever. Sooner than we think, Sunday will be here.


We are on the march from Good Friday through Holy Saturday to Easter Sunday. We aren't quite there, but we're moving in the right direction. It's Saturday, but Sunday's coming. Let that thought give strength to your heart today.

When Girls go WILD

Now, I'm not talking taking clothes off and being crazy drunk, although, I kinda am. hee hee. I have determined that having a girl makes everything different!! EVERYTHING! They aren't like boys. They don't react to things in the same way nor do they expect things in a similar manner.
Take my sweet and sometimes hard to tolerate Monkeypants. I adore her, don't get me wrong. I'm blessed to have a little girl that I treasure and love, but she IS going to be the death of me!!! Let's talk specifics here.
In just the past month, she has managed to run away 2 times, climb three shelves up on her built-in bookcase to get and spread lotion throughout her bedroom (and cleaned it up, mind you), pour a 5 lb bag of flour on herself, the dog and the dog's bed, dump every box of baking powder or soda (I can never tell the difference between the two) all over the floor in front of the pantry, put sprinkles in every nook and cranny that exists in my house, drink enough hand sanitizer to get drunk but not sick and deleted the $4.99 app from my iPad that she plays the most. All of this accomplished with an adult somewhere close by and present. SERIOUSLY!! It isn't like we leave her alone for an extended period of time. We have found that we can't.
She can undo any child lock you put in front of her and has been the reason for the newly purchased iron gate that stands above my waist in my hallway and the antique door newly installed and locked to prevent her leaving this one space. And yet, I maintain that the child will be the death of me. Even when everything is removed from her grasp, she still manages to trash things. And when she has nothing to trash, it's cool to climb all over Mommy as if she is a jungle gym preventing her from getting a single thing done. As she is doing this very minute. I've learned to type under some certainly extreme situations-- my editor will appreciate that one day. ;-)



I believe that God has a really good sense of humor. My children show me that. The 9 year old who refuses to smile for a picture until I tell him to think of something funny in which he bursts out laughing so hard I think he's going to cry. When asked what struck him so funny, he replies, "you, Mom, in skinny jeans." REALLY! Or my dear 6 year old, who cannot possibly go through a single day without making me laugh so hard my face hurts. With his over dramatic hand motions as he tries to explain his point or his point in general that tends to be just slightly off kilter. And my precious Monkeypants.... all 2 years of ornery and sweetness rolled into one. If I didn't laugh at her, I would probably cry.
Just when I'm about to meltdown or need a Mommy Time Out, God throws me an insight that makes me have to smile and remember, I have to be flexible because that's what it is like to be a Mommy. Forever cleaning those messes that we didn't anticipate or cuddling because that is just what is needed at that time, despite the busy lives we lead and the "to do list" that never gets done.
Just remember.....
Psalm 127:3

Children are a heritage from the LORD,
   offspring a reward from him.

Thank you, dear Jesus for such blessings and such reward. I am forever grateful for the gifts that you provide.

For the Love of Flowers

When I moved into this house almost 6 years ago, I had hopes and dreams of keeping a beautiful flower garden in all the flower beds. There were hostas, black-eyed Susans, some big bushes that I couldn't even name, some purple flowers the previous owner had had in her wedding that I TRIED to kill but still haven't died, lots of different varieties of flowers.
My dream quickly faded as some of the best, sturdiest plants became overtaken by weeds. Man, I tried. I really did. But with 2 small children at that time and life's devious plans to move forward faster despite my need for time to slow down, it became completely impossible to keep up with those weeds. At one point, I actually couldn't tell the weeds for the flowers and was sure I would be fined by the city for not trimming them. I actually had that conversation with Wade. We decided it was time to do something about it and spent an entire month, it seemed buckled into that front flower garden getting rid of the weeds. It took every effort we had, only to find more weeds the following week. I thought we were doomed!!
But I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and was okay with the disaster that was my front yard, so long as my dear neighbor, Nick, did not improve his. Despite the fact that my friends and family joked about turning me into the HGTV show, Desperate Landscapes, I still knew that it could have been worse. I mean, I watched that show all the time. There were some pretty desperate lawns on that show. Yes, I was in some serious denial at that time.

Then one day, the horrible happened, not only had Nick done a little work in his yard, it looked better than mine!!!! And THEN, something that was spectacular but detrimental happened. Angela. My sweet and precious friend that I truly love and loathe at the same time. She has a green thumb. The greenest of all. She had hopes and desires, not different than my own when I had moved into our house. She was going to turn Nick's flower beds into something beautiful. Let me back up. Angela, Nick's girlfriend, had come to visit from India (and I can't wait until she lives her permanently because I miss her more than I would miss my left arm!). Angela was putting a great female twist on Nick's life, but we won't go into the smile that she put on his face and all that lovey-dovey stuff. It's about the flowers. The plants. That is why I say loathe. I don't have ill will for her whatsoever; I just cannot believe the awesome work she put in.
I would see her each day, out in the garden, weeding and planting new seeds and making a work of art. I even saw Nick out there doing work like the new paver patio and knew I was in trouble. So, I buckled down and began to work as hard as I could on my front flower bed. Rearranged things, bought some new bulbs, tried to take out those stupid blue plants again (they have already started coming up this year, so I'm doomed to keep the ones I do not like), put in a new bush at the end as I had taken out the big ones that were up there before and put in new weed cloth and mulch to finish out the bed. Then to top it all off and make it even better, I put a new border of stones around the front and a little fence to frame the back. Everyone in the neighborhood would come around and comment if we were out on how great it looked (which only goes to show they were surely talking about it before :-\)

Angela's Daffodils

Why do I mention this today? Well, I weeded my flower bed this morning with Angela on my mind. Thinking how proud she would be of me. I have a jump start on the season and am going to get mulch by the end of the day so that I can cover the hostas and protect them from the cold weather over the next few weeks. As I stood with my glove on pulling out weeds, I glanced over to see Angela's beautiful daffodils. And the start of her new tulips that she planted knowing she would not get to see them this year. I couldn't help but feel sad. I have been thinking of her gift of friendship to us and how she makes us better people. And her gift to Nick, her flowers. Last year as we planted together and decided what flowers should be there, she planned those flowers that she knew would come up when she went back home. And each time they came up, I'm sure they made Nick smile because they made me smile and my children who love her so much. This beautiful woman has come into our lives from halfway around the world to give us love in flowers.They are wonderful reminders that she will be back to tend them before we even realize it. But in the meantime, we will send her pictures and make sure the flowers are tended to because God gives us precious friends to remind us of the kind of people we should be. So today as I look to getting mulch, I will think of Angela's flowers and smile knowing the joy the pictures will bring her until she can come home again.

Beautiful Firsts

So yesterday, we treated the kids out to McDonald's and since they had been so good, we let them have ice cream cones.
This is a first for Sofia. Yeah, my 2 year old has never had an ice cream cone. So Wade took the kids up to get them and each had theirs to carry. When he hands hers to her, her little eyes were suddenly as big as ever and her grin matched. Oh what a great look on her face. Then she took her first bite. It was so cute to watch her eating that thing and being so happy. You could see she felt like such a big girl.
Imagine our surprise when she spit out a tiny bite of the cone. She kinda freaked and kept saying broken. I realized she didn't realize it could be eaten. It was just a vessel for her. So, I asked Alec to show her it can be eaten. She looked at him as if he were crazy at first, and then took her first bite. She looked at me like WHAT. hee hee. It was so darn cute.

These are the first that lighten my heart. I love all my babies first moments, but this is one of those different kinds. It's not like she'd been trying to do something and finally achieved it. It's a first cone, one of many more in her beautiful life I'm sure. I love the moment it created for us as a family as we giggle and enjoyed her personality each moment of that little cone. I praise the Lord for those moments... as those are the ones I treasure the most.

Living your Passion

So many of us live our lives never realizing our one true passion in life...that one skill in our lives that God has given us to provide us with a meaningful, truly happy existence. If you do not combine your work with your passion you will never achieve excellence and fulfillment. 

What blocks you from finding your passion, even integrating it into your current work? Is work meant to be boring, only a paycheck? Is fulfilling God's Will always sacrificial of your passions? If you follow your passions, will your income drop dramatically? No, I don't think so.

Do you know someone who is a person of passion? Can you think about their qualities and what makes them so passionate?
During a tough battle in World War II, General George Patton, one of the greatest military leaders of all time, said about battle, "God, I love it!" King David, also a warrior,s aid, "God, I love you!" Who would you like to be associated? Think about it for a minute. No, seriously. King David was a passionate warrior as can be seen throughout 2 Samuel. (2 Samuel 5:18-25, 21:15-22:4, 22:29-32 and in Psalm 18:2-3, 18:30-40, 60:10) How did David express his passion for God and what did that do for him?
What can it do for you? We are in a time where most of us are not in the military. We go to work every day and spend our 40 hours doing what? What kind of passion do we find there? Why is our passion so infrequently seen at work?

David's world of work and his passion for God were integrated. He said, "God is my rock...my stronghold, my refuge, and my savior" (2 Samuel 22:3). If your world of work (or school or everyday living) and your passion for God were integrated, chose the words you might use to complete this sentence: "God is my ...


I answer that saying inspiration. I am living my passion of writing and truly loving life. Time with my children and husband. Fulfilled by the Holy Spirit in a very fulfilling work. What is your passion? Do you live it?

Outrageous

I have waited out typing this emotional blog for a few days because my heart wasn't ready to face the insane truth in life. People do not care about other people, even children. And on top of that, they are teaching their children not to care.
Ignorance angers me beyond words. Ignorance scares me beyond words. Ignorance frustrates me to words. As I sit here typing this there is another mother praying over her child who is sick because of a deadly allergy to peanuts.... There is a mother praying over her child who is living with a deadly allergy to peanuts... There is a mother praying over her child's grave because of a deadly allergy to peanuts. I am not writing this for anyone but those mothers who walk this line with me. Please read on if you don't live it though as you deserve to not be ignorant.
As I prepared for bed the other night, the news teased me with a story. Let me allow you to read it for yourself.....http://www.cfnews13.com/article/news/2011/march/216839/Peanut-allergy-panic-at-Edgewater-school-has-peeved-parents-protesting
Now let me vent, dear friends. These parents are the ignorant that bring me to tears. I sit listening to stories like this and can't help but think of that battle I prepared for when I started the process of entering the schools. My little Owen needed an advocate, and we are his parents, the only true individuals in this world that give a crap about his life or death.
I have dear friends that i know think me crazy. I have friends who believe life must include peanut butter and their children might die without it. I have friends who say they understand who can never fathom the depths of what could happen. And I love them all, but until i educate them and others i haven't done my true job of protecting my child or living the destiny that God has given me.
Children with peanut allergies live their lives knowing that at any minute, it could be their last. Wanna know how severe, have ONE conversation with Owen about his allergy. Last week he came home from school and said, "Mom, know why I am wearing my fanny pack (he carries his epipen on him) on my hip?" I replied, "No, bud. Why?" His reply just shows how young he truly is. "I can unzip with this hand (left) and grab my pen like a gun in those things and stab my leg in seconds. I can be the hero and the hurt guy all at the same time."
How very sad that he lives in a world in which there are parents teaching their children that it is okay to pick on kids like him and parents who think washing their hands and mouths are an interruption into their children's school day. My response to that is this, "Do any of you care that a child can die in the hands of your own child because of your carelessness? Do any of you understand the interruption in the day should a peanut allergy child actually be exposed at school? Do you understand the emotional damage to a child who has to witness another child going into anaphylactic shock? Do any of you truly care about the life of a child and how can you possibly live with yourself and your ignorance knowing that you are fighting against a child's life!!"
I can tell you stories upon stores, but i will save that for my book. Yes, I am working on that as I have time. In the meantime, I urge teachers, parents, children even to educate themselves on this. Educate yourself on what your schools are doing. Those in our school district, know that there are safeguards n place for kids like Owen and if the severity increases, so do those safeguards. Anyone who has the nerve to tell me to my face to keep my kid home because their children deserve an education of convenience over my child, you will get my opinion. I love to educate and I will fight to the end of MY life educating those ignorant because if we keep going like this, no one will ever learn....

Another Blessed Day

I am so blessed. I could say that and be done with this post quite honestly.
I'm not going to tell you all the hopes for my birthday (like my voice to come back) and all that boring stuff. I don't want to brag about my amazing husband. I don't want to invoke crazy jealousy about that stud. It just wouldn't be right.
Today, I just want to share in my joy of The Lord.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Trials Help Us Grow

Well, the week has been very trying and unfortunately, when that happens, it's so very easy to fall into old habits. I didn't eat as healthy this week as I did my first week. My weigh in this morning was 260.4. While that is still a loss of .4 pounds, that seems so insignificant to me. I am not in the slightest bit ready to quit or moving into my frustration zone as far as the weight loss. I know what I did wrong. I spent the week frustrated about this and that and overwhlemed by the million tasks I had put on my plate (excuse the pun). This week isn't any easier when it comes to work things, but I have Dad around to help relieve some of the burden. Although this morning, he was quick to tell me that I'm just like my Mom running myself in a million different directions. I will choose to ignore that like my Mom reference. Despite loving her, I am not ready to be like her. ;-)
I have felt that God has given me these weeks for trials, and I won't say that I failed because I didn't. I still lost some weight (albeit small and probably more water weight than anything). I will say that I succumbed quite a bit to the pressure. But it is another new week and another opportunity to do His Will. We have made efforts to improve the organization around the house, with doing extra toddler proofing to prevent future episodes of Sofia dumping out baking soda or drinking hand sanitizer or toothpaste. I believe that will help us to be able to do what we need to do to be successful and feel better about things. I do ask for your continued prayers and support as we keep going. And again, I invite those who are interested to walk with me. Wednesdays and Fridays at my church 10 am until we are pooped.
Well, as I finish this, Owen just poked Sofia in the eye. She is screaming. He is fighting back and it's time for lunch and Mommy needs some serious quite time!!! Love and Prayers to All.

No use crying over spilt lotion

My daughter is notoriously known for being able to cause incredible mass destruction in a matter of seconds. This morning is no different than any other with her powers of insanity in high gear. She got up at a decent time and was calmly watching tv in her room when I decided to go make breakfast. Mind you, my kitchen isn't in China or even further than a few rooms away, but seconds is all it takes. Her room was what we considered childproof.
Unfortunately, my sweet monkeypants figured out early how to undo the child lock on anything that we had locked up. She trashed the room yesterday by getting everything out of every toy basket and every door, which is no surprise and happens all the time. That is the reason that hadn't gotten cleaned up yet. Well, this morning to top it all off, she decided that it would be a great idea to get the big bottle of lotion that was 3 shelves up on her shelving unit. 3 shelves up!!! That required some climbing, of course.
Imagine my surprise when I went to her room to find her and most of the room covered in lotion. We are talking the radio, the shelves, the toys. THE WALL. I'm still trying to figure out how she got it. I seriously was gone the length of time it takes to take a bowl out of the cabinet and put cereal in it. That's it. No milk. nothing. Just cereal. 3-4 seconds max. And in that time she climbed and dispersed an entire bottle of lotion everywhere.

While this is very frustrating, and I hope she and I both learned a lesson (not sure what that one is yet) I'm trying to be positive and not think of the time it is taking away from other things I need to get done. I am thinking of the quality time with my monkeypants. Working together (only cause I've locked us in the room together until it is cleaned up). Just to give you an idea of the destruction, I have taken a photo because no  mess like this should go without a picture (reminds me of the time Owen dumped out an almost full gallon of paint in the kitchen..... hmmm must run in the family). Off to finish the cleaning! How exciting to get this memorable moment with my daughter. hee hee. ;-)

Drum Roll Please

I am quite pleased to say that I sit here typing this blog 6.6 pounds lighter!!! Official weigh in is 260.8 pounds.
YEAH!! Great victory, but I can't just be excited and not admit my faults as I go through this cycle or it will never end.
"At the same time the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don't know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes along with our groans that cannot be expressed in words." --Romans 8:26 (God's Word Translation)
We all have moments of weakness in any sin that we encounter, but God is with us. The Spirit is there to guide us by giving us strength to bear those weakness and exciting us to make efforts to sustain them and allowing us to endure those trials by ministering to us consolations and truths.
There aren't always words appropriate for situations. Sometimes we know what we need, but we just cannot express those needs. Even writers get writer's block. The Holy Spirit is the spring of all desires toward God, which are often more than words can utter. The Spirit who searches the hearts, can perceive the mind and will of the spirit, the renewed mind, and advocates his cause. The Spirit makes intercession to God, and the enemy does not prevail.
How is that associated with weight loss? Remember my first blog.. this is a sin. At least it is for me. I have sinned and fell short. Saying it isn't easy. Knowing what to ask God for is something I'm finding this week to be challenging to say the least. Is it selfish to pray for God's help? Am I asking the right things?  I also find it challenging to not only know what to ask for, but to feel strength in those moments when chocolate used to fix the situation.
I cannot say that I feel alone in this battle. I am almost overwhelmed by the strength that I can only attribute to my precious friends who are with me, no matter what their size. I, quite honestly, didn't realize how many people were reading my blog. I thank you guys. It is truly awesome to feel all of your hands on my shoulder as I go through the day making good decisions about health and nutrition.
I did have meals this week that weren't necessarily the best choices, but a meal here or there did not hurt the end results. I found that I couldn't think about that meal and stress out over it when I had another one to plan for the next day. So, I take on this second week with renewed strength and lighter feet with a thank you to all those who had encouraging words and an extension of fellowship to all those who need this journey as much as I do. Walk with me friends. Literally and figuratively. We walk at our church while we have cold weather, if you are local and wish to join us, let me know!! We welcome the fellowship. If you can't be here, awesome, do what you can. Park further out when you go to the store. Walk around every aisle at Walmart. (DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT STORE IS!! hee hee). Take some extra steps with me and please, any healthy and easy recipes are more than welcome. Through God, all things are possible!!