January 2, 2016

Why we do what we do...

One of my learning experiences from this past year came in the words of a child, or multiple children even.

I left my job. Yes, I still can't get over that. As a teacher, you grow to love your school and your children. They become like family, so when I made that decision, I truly cried like I was a baby and even wondered if I was making the right decision. I felt God pulling me in a different direction, and I just couldn't ignore Him like I wanted.

All summer, I prayed and talked to God and wondered where He could possibly be leading me. My students were angry with me. My kiddos. Those children that had become my own were so upset with me and upset that I would leave them after 3 years of being with them more than most of their parents just as a result of time spent together. They didn't understand my decision, and quite honestly, I didn't either. I spent months wondering what God could possibly be doing, but then I felt like maybe I wasn't reaching these particular children any longer and needed to move on for that reason.

I have kept in touch with many of my students, but some I just haven't had the opportunity to see. When their Christmas program came up in December, I decided to visit.

I went back to my former school... back home again. That is how it felt. I went back home. I went home to hugs from former co-workers, parents and my kiddos!! They opened their hearts to me without the frustration we ended the year with. They weren't still upset. They just loved me like they always did. As much as it touched my heart to see my kiddos once again, one particular moment stood out for me.

My monkey boy.. I will never say I have favorites because I truly believe they are all my favorites, but my monkey boy has always been able to give me a smile no matter what is happening in the day. I heard him yell my name across the church and saw him leaping through the air as he landed in my arms. No joke, really happened. He squeezed me extremely hard and told me how much he missed me and how seeing me meant so much to him. I didn't think he was ever going to let go, and to be honest, I didn't want him to let go.
Ya see, my sweet monkey boy was my student in 2nd grade and 4th grade both. I had seen him grow. I had seen him become such a wonderful young man. He was still my monkey boy; the kid who couldn't stand still to save his soul. the kid I created the monkey box for in the first place. With my love of sock monkeys, I used some sock monkey duck tape to create a box on the floor where he could stand and had to keep at least one body part in at all times. It saved many children (and myself) from getting donkey kicked accidentally and him from running around the room quite a bit, but it taught him something. I didn't see it every day, but I certainly saw it that day at the concert. I saw him stand and sing and behave during that concert. After so much time of frustration for all of us, I saw him being patient and participating with that patience. He still has crazy moments, hello! 5th grader running into my arms from across the room, but he has grown up a lot. I can't help but know that this was my hat tilt from God telling me atta girl.

So when you look upon your last year, think about examples of those atta girls (or guys) that you have for a job well done. Look to your 2016, think about how you want to be remembered. Did you choose to show love and compassion when you could have chosen a different way? This is what I am thinking of over the weekend as I prepare to set my specific goals for the new year on Monday.
Come back on Monday with me and get some ideas and steps for helping to create goals to being better you.

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