Let's start off in the beginning. 10 years ago Saturday, I fell in love all over again. With my sweet husband you ask? No, with the incredible sunshine in my life... my beautiful baby boy. After two years of battling with infertility and trying to ignore doctors who kept saying I would never have a baby, The Lord blessed me with the most incredible gift any woman could ask for. He made me a Mommy.
Each year, my son grows up more and more and shows me the continued blessing of being his Mom. I remember holding him in my arms as he slept (I know you aren't supposed to do that, but he isn't any worse for the wear!) and just praying over him for his safety and his life in general. I remember his first little smile and those first sweet little words (both in sign language and spoken). I remember those first little staggered steps and dancing to Brittney Spears on tv as he leaned on the ottoman. (I think I even have video of that one ;-) I remember crying on his first day of preschool and his first day of Kindergarten. I remember thinking just this year as school started that next year he will be in a different school.
All of these moments are always precious, but the moment I had with him last night will bring tears to my eyes forever. It was bedtime, and he went to his room to get ready. I went down to tuck him in (it's normally Wade who does that, so this was just different). When I reached the bottom of the steps, I realized that not only did he leave all the lights on, but he wasn't in his bed. When he heard me, he flew for the bed and tried to pretend he hadn't been crying. I walked in and asked him what was going on and his response will be with me forever. (fighting the tears to type this as it is one to keep and treasure) "I was talking to God, Mom. I was praying because I realized that I only have 8 more years." Those are the words that will forever stick with me- I only have 8 more years. I encouraged him to explain what he was talking about. He said he only has 8 more years before leaving for college and that meant only 8 more years with us as a family as it is today, only 8 more years of being my little boy. That was what was worrying my little fella. My sweet 10 year old could only think of the fact that in 8 years, he wouldn't be my baby anymore. I held him in my arms and told him he's becoming the best young man that God intended him to be and how very proud I am that when he was worried about it, the one thing he did was turn to God! I told him that I don't care how old he is, because he will always be my Sunshine and will always be my baby. I held him in my arms as if he were suddenly a newborn again, only this time I fought the tears. I was a strong Mom because that is just what my precious baby needed at that time. It seemed like an eternity that he let me hold him, and I just can't help but be emotional about it today as I think about how sad it must be to realize that one day you will no longer be a child. I don't remember it hitting me like that, but I do remember the day I realized I was the adult making the decisions.
Today, I pray for my baby, because he will always be my baby. And I pray that in his growth, he never forget the lessons of childhood that are clearly sinking in and that in times that are tough, he always turn to God, our Lord and Savior who has shown me blessings much more than I truly deserve! (And yes, I broke into tears after leaving that child's room- I'm human you know ;-)
October 17, 2011
October 7, 2011
Lessons from John the Baptist
I have spent this entire week engrossed in studying the book of John for our junior high youth group. I am not teaching it, but I am assisting and hoping to bring more to the table for these awesome young men and women. As I sat here reading and thinking about John the Baptist, one thing stuck into my head. This is the man who baptized Our Lord and Savior! Seriously. How did that moment feel? I would truly love to have been a fly on the water's edge listening to that interchange.
Think about this. You are submerged and baptized in the Holy Spirit, but Jesus IS the Holy Spirit. So, how did that go? Did John stumble on his words? Your pastor always says, 'I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."
What were John's words? Did he say, I baptize you in ... um.. in.. you? hee hee. Not only is that a something that sticks out in my crazy brain, but imagine the overwhelming feeling of the Holy Spirit in that very moment. I get chill bumps thinking about it! The Bible says that as Jesus came up out of the water, heaven opened, and the Spirit of God, like a dove, descended upon him. Witnesses to the baptism heard a voice from heaven saying, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." The presence of God was right there. The Holy Spirit came down upon Jesus. That feeling had to be so powerful, so incredibly overwhelming and beautiful.
And John had devoted his entire life to preparing for the arrival of Jesus. He was a sight to look upon, I'm sure. He was like that fella in Peoria, IL where we used to live that they called Crazy Willie. He would come through and rant and rave and consistently point to Christ. Like a signpost pointing to The Father. He had focused all of his energy toward this very moment. While he was obedient, the very first thing that Jesus asked him to do made him pause. He resisted and felt unqualified.
My reflection then comes to myself. I love to work with the youth in my church. The little preschoolers on Sunday mornings where we get to have a ton of fun and learn the Bible basics! The older kids now in the evenings where I hope to see Jesus working miracles through their very lives. How qualified am I? Do you ever feel like that? Do you feel unqualified to fulfill your mission from God? John felt that he was even unworthy to unfasten the shoes of Jesus. Yet in Luke 7:28, Jesus called John the greatest of all prophets. My passion to work with children is important, and I pray Sunday that the kids hear the lesson and understand that despite how inadequate they may feel, how inadequate we all may feel, those feelings should never hold us back from our God appointed mission.
You never know who you are going to meet or what they are going to see when they look at you. You may be the only Bible people see. You may be the only Jesus people see. What are they seeing in you?
Think about this. You are submerged and baptized in the Holy Spirit, but Jesus IS the Holy Spirit. So, how did that go? Did John stumble on his words? Your pastor always says, 'I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."
What were John's words? Did he say, I baptize you in ... um.. in.. you? hee hee. Not only is that a something that sticks out in my crazy brain, but imagine the overwhelming feeling of the Holy Spirit in that very moment. I get chill bumps thinking about it! The Bible says that as Jesus came up out of the water, heaven opened, and the Spirit of God, like a dove, descended upon him. Witnesses to the baptism heard a voice from heaven saying, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." The presence of God was right there. The Holy Spirit came down upon Jesus. That feeling had to be so powerful, so incredibly overwhelming and beautiful.
And John had devoted his entire life to preparing for the arrival of Jesus. He was a sight to look upon, I'm sure. He was like that fella in Peoria, IL where we used to live that they called Crazy Willie. He would come through and rant and rave and consistently point to Christ. Like a signpost pointing to The Father. He had focused all of his energy toward this very moment. While he was obedient, the very first thing that Jesus asked him to do made him pause. He resisted and felt unqualified.
My reflection then comes to myself. I love to work with the youth in my church. The little preschoolers on Sunday mornings where we get to have a ton of fun and learn the Bible basics! The older kids now in the evenings where I hope to see Jesus working miracles through their very lives. How qualified am I? Do you ever feel like that? Do you feel unqualified to fulfill your mission from God? John felt that he was even unworthy to unfasten the shoes of Jesus. Yet in Luke 7:28, Jesus called John the greatest of all prophets. My passion to work with children is important, and I pray Sunday that the kids hear the lesson and understand that despite how inadequate they may feel, how inadequate we all may feel, those feelings should never hold us back from our God appointed mission.
You never know who you are going to meet or what they are going to see when they look at you. You may be the only Bible people see. You may be the only Jesus people see. What are they seeing in you?
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