Cold Adventures

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Or shall I say day! Today, my family expected school to be cancelled due to severe cold. We were all very frustrated to find that not to be the case when we awoke. The 14 year old complained he was cold for half a second and moved on to get ready for the day (yeah, he's my favorite today). The 11 year old couldn't stop talking about the injustices of the world and how it was against his rights to be exposed to one of his Winter kryptonite (cold weather vs. asthmatic lungs). And my dear 7 year old is GOING to be the death of me! She screamed. She threw a fit. She put everything the rest of us felt into outright emotions on her sleeve repeating over and over, "It's too cold. It's too cold." OVER AND OVER AND OVER as loud as she possibly could.

I could have promised her a new puppy, and it wasn't working. She was insistent that she wasn't going to school. I told her she had no choice because I had to take her brother to school for show choir, so she had to get into the car and once there, no reason not to go. I tried logic. Yeah, really like she could handle that. I tried emotion. Don't judge me! I cry sometimes too!! I even tried guilt, but the kid wasn't going for any of it. Eventually, I just told her that we were going to take her backpack "just in case". I didn't mention that just in case was I lost my mind in the car!

Now, mind you, the morning rush around here tends to be a little (liar!) a lot stressful. Despite the plan of action, it always ends up crazy for some reason, but this morning it was just a hot mess. I was thankful that it wasn't fit outside for anything because if anyone had been walking past my house, they would have thought there was a riot inside between S screaming and O lamenting and me being exasperated and maybe yelling some myself (I HAD TO BE HEARD). HOT MESS!! There I am yelling again. 

Then, it was time to heat up the car. I turned it on and noted that the windows had iced over thinking okay, no worries. I will have A take care of it before we head out (remember he is my favorite right now). Only there wasn't an ice scraper. SO in my incoherent morning moment when my husband spoke to me (I was in a dead sleep just seconds prior to, mind you) I had a conversation that went like this,

"Cols. cancelled today?" HIM

"They cancelled at 11 p.m. last night" ME

BUT that was not the conversation he heard! THIS is what he heard....

"Cols. cancelled today? I am surprised ours hasn't cancelled." HIM

"They cancelled at 11 p.m. last night" ME

In his new found "wisdom" my knight in shining armor left me unprepared and without an ice scrapper because he took mine thinking I had no place to be! I will not be disrespectful and repeat the words that I said in my head as my children bravely stood around me too scared to speak at this point, but needless to say A was NOT going to get to show choir on time let alone the early that was requested by his teacher. (Still hoping his teacher understands what our morning stress is about.)

So, bundled and hoping for the car to be clear, we head out about 5 minutes late (not bad, I thought- SHUT UP BRAIN) only for S to decide she wasn't wearing her big coat because "it doesn't fit in the locker." WHAT THE CRAP!! YOU ARE 7! 5 minutes later, I put my hands on my hips and heard her say, "I am only doing this because when you do that with your hands and give me that look it creeps me out!" She then put her coat on and headed to the car. I still want to know what look that was cause I need to use it more often!!

Then we sat in the car another 5 minutes because it was impossible to see out the windows.  Have I mentioned that I still have to "get to work" myself yet!

As we round the corner to the main road, we find ourselves stuck in high school traffic. The stress keeps mounting... I went around in the turn lane to go around about 30 cars and then sat at the red light amazed at the teenagers who don't apparently know that a red light does NOT mean to pull your car slightly out into the middle of the road and stop. 

So the story could go on and include the missed Math Counts that Owen and I both totally forgot and the onslaught of work that I have. I have no choice but to sit here contemplating my morning and how annoying it had to be for my children because all I have given here is my particular point of view.

I am thinking how frustrating it is for A to oftentimes be late to things because of his little sister. I am thinking how upsetting it is for O to have a change in scheduling. I am thinking about my poor little princess who oftentimes just does everything with her emotions before thinking them through completely. I'm thinking that my children weren't the focus this morning. I'm thinking all of our frustrations was the focus.

I can't help but think about ways to improve upon that focus and make it more positive, but I just don't have that right now. I can't move beyond the first problem of the morning. Maybe tomorrow...

Shopping Shenanigans

I hate going to the grocery store. 
Well, let's be honest, I hate shopping in any capacity. I don't get the rush. I don't get the joy. As a matter of fact, I feel quite frustrated at the idea of even having to walk into a store. I have been like that for as long as I can remember. I don't like spending money, and I don't like being around people who are grouchy because they too are stuck doing something they hate. Plus two lines? Are you kidding me!! Open a new one and for heaven sake throw out the bad fruit and stop trying to give me samples of food I don't want. I will come up to you if I want it, or send my kids when they need out of my hair. 

So yesterday, when I realized Old Mother Hubbard might have more food than us, I begrudgingly made the dreaded list and gathered the coupons and looked at the ads and planned the meals and headed out in the stupid cold weather. As I got to the store, I had to park what seemed like a mile away, had a rough walk to the store, and couldn't seem to find a cart that wouldn't squeak. I started to get super grouchy and stopped myself. I decided to think about what a godly woman would do in a situation she didn't want to face. I started thinking about Martha and how hard working she was, diligent in her preparations even after her guests had arrived. Still busy working despite the presence of The Lord.
As I selected the apples, I wondered what she would think about my whining (in my head at the time). I realized she was a whiner too, just like me. Martha whined to Jesus, himself, about her sister, Mary, who just didn't seem to care and help out with the work to be done. Then, I giggled aloud (this is when the produce guy looked at me a little funny) because I remembered what Jesus said, "Martha, Martha you worry and fuss about a lot of stuff." (Or something close to that, I'm not a Bible scholar here people!)  I seriously felt like He was talking to me. 
So I decided not to worry and just do what was necessary and consider my blessings. In the middle of that stupid grocery store, what did I have to be blessed for?

• I have a place to go where food is available. 
• I can afford that food (well, some of the time). 
• I found a parking spot (despite it's distance from the door) - don't judge me, I'm a work in progress. 
• I didn't break my neck on that black ice I slid on in the parking lot. 
• I can, apparently, do a decent split. 
• I gave a group of teenagers a really good laugh that they might have needed. 
• I accomplished my chore and made it home safely to my bigger blessing - my family. 
• And by golly! The best blessing of all! I have an awesome God willing to remind me that I need not worry about a lot of stuff because He's got all that. 

Definitely found a light moment for the grocery trip that could have been a disaster.

Smarty Pants are not always fun!

I once read somewhere, "Sometimes a child with a smart mind also has a smart mouth." (It is killing the English teacher in me not to cite that, but I really do not remember where it came from.) I truly didn't know how to take that when I originally read it, but I live it every day now and find it so very challenging.

Let me pre-empt where we are going here by saying that first of all, every one of my children is super smart and loved very strongly. But we all have that ONE kid that is just different from the others. My O has a very, very keen brain. He has proven his intelligence through testing just recently verifying all we actually knew, but no amount of testing can prepare this Mom for being Mommy to a smarty pants. Following along with the topic of change for the month is my determination to better understand my child in order to be the best parent for him.

"You are so lucky to have such a smart kid!"
"I WISH my kid was that smart."
"I wouldn't complain if I were you. It has got to be so much easier to live your life."

This is just a handful of the comments I have gotten when having a weak moment and needing to talk about what is our world with O. No one really understands; not even his teachers. NOT EVEN THIS TEACHER!! Daddy and I get frustrated all the time. It's hard not to.

Life with a severely gifted child is challenging. I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world because it is sometimes extremely fun, but guys, no joke, it's REALLY hard!! Ever watch a kid do mental math to multiply fractions only to realize he got the answer before you and you couldn't check his work?! Ever have a kid cry every day not to go to school because it was boring watching his classmates do their work while he had finished in 5 minutes and was "stuck reading the rest of class?" Ever have a kid correct you EVERY time you mess something up?

He might act like a show off or a know-it-all, but he's MY know-it-all. He is impatient because others seem slow to him. He is sloppy with his work sometimes because his little hands can't keep up with his brain. He is often tortured with a brain that works faster than most of us can even fathom while everything around him moves in slow motion. It's like watching The Matrix scene where Neo dodges the bullets defying gravity. It's hard for him not to be frustrated.

So, when my kid says "that's easy." or "that's stupid." or something like that, he's not trying to belittle anyone else. He's just expressing his frustration in his little 11 year old brain because no matter how very smart he is, he's still a kid. He has to be gently reminded social skills. He just doesn't get them naturally because he thinks logically and it doesn't make sense for him to not be blunt and honest.

On the flip side of that, O can be torn down brutally with something as simple as a public reprimand. Imagine being in his classroom, he's stated for the 80th time that this is easy, probably making the child next to him that is struggling frustrated. The teacher is frustrated thinking, "if this kid does not shut up, I swear." She loses her cool and tells him to sit down and close his mouth that not everyone has accomplished the skill yet and he needs to be patient. He's done. You just finished his day. :( He is now devastated, and one sentence just might have ruined his entire day, maybe his entire week.

Is he really that different?

Yup. He is so much more of everything than his age. He is more intense, more curious, more challenging, more frustrating, more sensitive, more passionate. He knows SO much more. He learns SO much faster. He feels SO deeply. About everything!! He acts differently. He is treated differently. He is expected to be more, so much more by every adult around him. Talk about some serious pressure.

He doesn't know that he looks arrogant when he excitedly talks about something that makes his classmates just stand with their mouths hanging down because he knows so much more about a particular topic. And heaven forbid he be in a mixed age class with children as young as 7!! Due to his insane knowledge base, it is hard for him not to correct his classmates, AND TEACHERS. He isn't being disrespectful; He's concerned about that knowledge being misconstrued. That correct knowledge and information is critical in his brain! It is more important that you know that a single paradiddle in tap dancing is comprised of heel dig, spank, step, drop heel and that a spank is not a step. (yeah, I had to look that up, but it is totally relevant to my kiddo) than for you to continue messing the step up. That you said it is 8 steps from your desk to his when it is really 7. WHAT! That is insane that you would believe such a false thing. It's HUGE to him.

So how do we handle this? How do we not go completely insane every day dealing with him and his high strung needs? We take him in doses. All of us. His teachers only get him for a set period of time. I get breaks. Dad gets breaks. His Grammy and Pap. EVERYONE needs a break from O, sometimes even he needs a break from himself. (he seriously puts himself into time out and no one is allowed in his room when he needs those moments).

You will see me frustrated, but you will also see love in my eyes as I giggle and tell stories of his insane moments of correction and silliness. Like when we over analyze songs on purpose to make fun of the lyrics because not being able to feel your face when you are with another person is JUST NOT RIGHT. ;-)

I pray a lot. God gave me a special child. God planted him in our lives and those lives around him for a reason. His big heart. His sharp mind. This child is meant for greatness!

So when you are around my sweet, precious O, remember, he's different, and that's a great thing! That's a God thing. He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings. He doesn't want to prove he's smarter than you (sometimes). He wants understanding, compassion, and love. So my challenge for me is to understand more, show more compassion and love like it means everything because, quite honestly, it truly does!

Writing Wednesday

On Wednesdays, I would like to focus on writing as a general theme for this blog. I love to write, and while I generally love to share my writing, I have never been comfortable with sharing all of my writing.

I have a dear old friend (we have been friends forever; she is nowhere near old) who has always encouraged my poetry. I am putting some of that poetry together to create a collection of poems for possible publication. Keep in mind this has been a work in progress since college (let's not even talk about how long ago that was!)

Keeping in line with the topic of change that comes along with the goal creating and start of a new year, I am going to share the first poem that was published many moons ago.. I hope you enjoy.

Changes

Things have changed.

It's not been easy.

I try so hard.

They say I'm lazy.

I want to die,

just fade away.

But love keeps me going

each and every day.

Drum roll please

My 2016 Goals are set and established with a plan for each of them.

God- To increase my time in The Word and therefore expand my walk with The Lord.

Self- To make a conscience effort to move more, eat less, eat healthier, and have more purpose in my movement.

Spouse - To show my husband how much I love him on a daily basis and not take for granted all he does for our family.

Family - To teach our children how to walk in The Lord and being a to be a better example of Christ for my children to model. 


While these seem small, they truly are a big step in the process of accomplishment. Making a plan for each goal is definitely beneficial and gives me a starting place and a clear direction as well as a definitive point of success.
For day two, I have already been in The Word two days in a row and have Zumba tonight for me (and my family's) sanity. I instituted a new bedtime routine for my 7 yo last night and have been working to mirror how all of my children should behave in a variety of circumstances.

I'm going to fail. I am human and that, unfortunately, is our nature. But I am most certainly determined to pick myself up and keep moving forward towards finding better habits in all of the areas in my life that I have selected in my goals.

I look forward to hearing about your goals and your progress as you move on your journey with me. Feel free to share in the comments below!!