Smarty Pants are not always fun!

I once read somewhere, "Sometimes a child with a smart mind also has a smart mouth." (It is killing the English teacher in me not to cite that, but I really do not remember where it came from.) I truly didn't know how to take that when I originally read it, but I live it every day now and find it so very challenging.

Let me pre-empt where we are going here by saying that first of all, every one of my children is super smart and loved very strongly. But we all have that ONE kid that is just different from the others. My O has a very, very keen brain. He has proven his intelligence through testing just recently verifying all we actually knew, but no amount of testing can prepare this Mom for being Mommy to a smarty pants. Following along with the topic of change for the month is my determination to better understand my child in order to be the best parent for him.

"You are so lucky to have such a smart kid!"
"I WISH my kid was that smart."
"I wouldn't complain if I were you. It has got to be so much easier to live your life."

This is just a handful of the comments I have gotten when having a weak moment and needing to talk about what is our world with O. No one really understands; not even his teachers. NOT EVEN THIS TEACHER!! Daddy and I get frustrated all the time. It's hard not to.

Life with a severely gifted child is challenging. I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world because it is sometimes extremely fun, but guys, no joke, it's REALLY hard!! Ever watch a kid do mental math to multiply fractions only to realize he got the answer before you and you couldn't check his work?! Ever have a kid cry every day not to go to school because it was boring watching his classmates do their work while he had finished in 5 minutes and was "stuck reading the rest of class?" Ever have a kid correct you EVERY time you mess something up?

He might act like a show off or a know-it-all, but he's MY know-it-all. He is impatient because others seem slow to him. He is sloppy with his work sometimes because his little hands can't keep up with his brain. He is often tortured with a brain that works faster than most of us can even fathom while everything around him moves in slow motion. It's like watching The Matrix scene where Neo dodges the bullets defying gravity. It's hard for him not to be frustrated.

So, when my kid says "that's easy." or "that's stupid." or something like that, he's not trying to belittle anyone else. He's just expressing his frustration in his little 11 year old brain because no matter how very smart he is, he's still a kid. He has to be gently reminded social skills. He just doesn't get them naturally because he thinks logically and it doesn't make sense for him to not be blunt and honest.

On the flip side of that, O can be torn down brutally with something as simple as a public reprimand. Imagine being in his classroom, he's stated for the 80th time that this is easy, probably making the child next to him that is struggling frustrated. The teacher is frustrated thinking, "if this kid does not shut up, I swear." She loses her cool and tells him to sit down and close his mouth that not everyone has accomplished the skill yet and he needs to be patient. He's done. You just finished his day. :( He is now devastated, and one sentence just might have ruined his entire day, maybe his entire week.

Is he really that different?

Yup. He is so much more of everything than his age. He is more intense, more curious, more challenging, more frustrating, more sensitive, more passionate. He knows SO much more. He learns SO much faster. He feels SO deeply. About everything!! He acts differently. He is treated differently. He is expected to be more, so much more by every adult around him. Talk about some serious pressure.

He doesn't know that he looks arrogant when he excitedly talks about something that makes his classmates just stand with their mouths hanging down because he knows so much more about a particular topic. And heaven forbid he be in a mixed age class with children as young as 7!! Due to his insane knowledge base, it is hard for him not to correct his classmates, AND TEACHERS. He isn't being disrespectful; He's concerned about that knowledge being misconstrued. That correct knowledge and information is critical in his brain! It is more important that you know that a single paradiddle in tap dancing is comprised of heel dig, spank, step, drop heel and that a spank is not a step. (yeah, I had to look that up, but it is totally relevant to my kiddo) than for you to continue messing the step up. That you said it is 8 steps from your desk to his when it is really 7. WHAT! That is insane that you would believe such a false thing. It's HUGE to him.

So how do we handle this? How do we not go completely insane every day dealing with him and his high strung needs? We take him in doses. All of us. His teachers only get him for a set period of time. I get breaks. Dad gets breaks. His Grammy and Pap. EVERYONE needs a break from O, sometimes even he needs a break from himself. (he seriously puts himself into time out and no one is allowed in his room when he needs those moments).

You will see me frustrated, but you will also see love in my eyes as I giggle and tell stories of his insane moments of correction and silliness. Like when we over analyze songs on purpose to make fun of the lyrics because not being able to feel your face when you are with another person is JUST NOT RIGHT. ;-)

I pray a lot. God gave me a special child. God planted him in our lives and those lives around him for a reason. His big heart. His sharp mind. This child is meant for greatness!

So when you are around my sweet, precious O, remember, he's different, and that's a great thing! That's a God thing. He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings. He doesn't want to prove he's smarter than you (sometimes). He wants understanding, compassion, and love. So my challenge for me is to understand more, show more compassion and love like it means everything because, quite honestly, it truly does!