And So It Begins

I am obese. I know, I know, not a huge shock there. It's quiet clear to everyone who has vision.
I looked in the mirror the other day and realized I really am fat. To those of you skinny snots out there, that isn't something that you know a thing about. It really does sneak up on you. On your thighs. On your arms. Around your waist and even in your eyes. Sounds strange to say that, but look into the eyes of a fat chick and you will see it all. We wear our heart on our sleeve and in our eyes. All of those fat cells seem to suck the life out of our eyes. As I stood staring at myself and what I've become I was ashamed.
I realized that God had given me a body and I pissed away his gift. (forgive me for the strong use of word, but that is truly what I feel right now).
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body," 1 Cor. 6:19-20
He bought and paid for me and what have I done in return!! It's like when you are 16 and your parents buy you your first car. You don't change the oil. You only find out E doesn't mean Enough when your Dad tells you as he's come to fill it with the can meant for the lawnmower. You let the tires get worn down and the interior looks like the inside of a trash can. Your a teenager who doesn't take care of her new toy. In no time, one bad choice right after another turns into the car of your dreams being something you really don't even want to get into because it looks bad. It rides bad. It feels bad. Guess what, I'm that car. And lately I most certainly feel like a worn out car.
Waking up fat is not something pretty. It takes time. It takes patience and it takes a fortitude that many don't have. That's why our beloved country has gotten to this extreme. So, I woke up fat and realized that my children deserve better. It's not for me. I would have done it years ago had it been for me, but there was clearly something keeping me back. I don't think my faith was strong enough. This week turned a corner for me. I had a great long-distance friend who gave me a wonderful starting point for nutrition and a great local friend who decided we should walk together. We've walked together twice this week and I hurt like heck. But I'll be there in the morning doing it again, because I cannot fail this time. I have too much riding on this one.
I keep reading that verse above and I have some major apologizing to do to my Father in Heaven. I took his temple and used it as my trash can. I didn't was the windows. I didn't do the simple maintenance to keep it a working building. But I don't read that verse with only negativity. I see such hope and such light in it. Because He IS with me. The Holy Spirit is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. I feel His power when I need the will power to avoid the bad foods in the grocery store. I feel His power when I don't want to get off the sofa and go walk. One painful step at a time. He's walked with me before. He walks with me again.
No more excuses. No more stalling. It starts here and it starts now. This 267.4 pound woman has had enough and that is that!!