It just isn't your talent

How many of us as moms have to have that conversation with our kiddos that they just aren't up to par in that ONE area. That they happen to have their Daddy's abilities there. (yeah, I'm being specific here)

I saw the pic below on FB the other day and it brought all this in mind..

We laugh because, well it is funny, but we also have to think about it when it comes to our own kids. Teaching them to be realistic is so very important as they get older.

I showed the pic to my middle child, and he said it wasn't funny. He is my asthmatic. Oops. I wasn't actually pointing it out to him as it being him. I just really thought it was funny. Then I got to thinking about what I fail at and how I might show my children that I handle that. I'm horrible about wearing my emotions on my sleeve. If I'm mad at you, you generally know it. I don't tend to sugar coat it. If I'm sad, well, I cry a lot. If I need attention, I pout. I am a walking Inside Out commercial to be honest!

But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered how my hubby and I handle our children when they fail. Are we the "Great job!" even if they sucked? Are we the "you'll get it next time" knowing they really suck? Then I realized, that we are pretty straight forward, and I wonder if that is the best thing.

I think in some moments it is, but in others we have to restrain from saying exactly how we feel. We aren't necessarily trying to sugar coat it (I must need sugar), but we are trying to soften the blow of reality to maintain a sense of self-esteen. For example, the oldest.. GRRRR That kid drives me crazy. When he gets overwhelmed he gets very emotional.I have NO CLUE who he gets that from!  But the other day, he was fretting about choreography that he feels is a problem for him in show choir. He has a performance and was frustrated. He told a little fib about it trying to get out of the performance only for his most awesomest (yeah, still making up words) choir director to call him out on it. We were straight forward. There was an awkward teenager moment when he said (more like a yell) he didn't want to look like a "retarded potato" (still trying to figure out what the crap that means!), but we were firm with him that he is failing at problem solving with this situation. We were straight forward, and it turned out okay in the end as we helped him set up a couple of practice moments and such. Still working out some details on the science project that was actually the straw that broke the camel's back on this one, but it is a process.

Now, there are three of them, so I am sure I have scarred one of them at one time or another being so honest. Today, I got a chance to have an eye opening talk with O. We are at the point when we have to decide band, choir, or orchestra. I love that kid, but he HATES going to his brother's concerts and HATES music class and has his father's ability to carry a tune. It just skipped him. NOW, give him the rhythm and he can tap it out like none other, but please do not ask him to sing it. I'm not saying he wouldn't rock out percussion, but the idea of the concert seems to hold him back. There are just certain things that drives us. We have debated how to handle if he takes those three classes because it is rather prevalent and stressed for 6th and  up at our school district. The kid has a dance talent and is pretty stretched with time involved in that as it is, but as smart as he is, we struggle with the idea of him having a study hall (which is what the alternative is for the 6th graders). So, with the end of the school year approaching, I decided to ask him what he wants to do. He finally admitted that if he was realistic about it (seriously his words, so someone is listening to me) he isn't the best musician that exists nor would he want to stick with it for long because of the time commitment the older he gets. But we still have the dilemma of the morning study hall. He heard me mention that I wished the art teacher would be willing to do an independent study type of thing for him a couple days of week as if he were in band during that time, and asked me if I had talked to the art teacher yet. Guess I am going to send an email today. This is a result of us being realistic. Instead of being a frustrated, retarded potato (still trying to stop picturing that), he is being a problem solver.

The being realistic thing seems to work with that one at least. Let's hope it encourages all of them to just be problem solvers and to be willing to take a leap of faith sometime and ask for something that may never have been done.
It isn't always going to work, but I think following our heart over a situation makes us better parents.

Now to go send an email to an art teacher. Let's get real around here!