Truth!!!

This evening, I got angry and I have to say, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Especially when it is something that attacks God!! Listen here folks! I am here to say that your lies are not ones that I nor my children will follow. I am here for the truth. Jesus was born. He died and He rose again for US. To save us from our sins from your lies and your hate. You cannot affect me and I will fight to the death for my children's souls.
Whew. Okay. So sorry my friends, but I am really angry. We were watching what grandpa would call the squawk box tonight and thought we would catch the new game show, "It's Worth What?" Good show until the producers angered me. One of the items was from like 1500 B.C.E. Wade and I looked at each and were like huh? Alec said it was Before Christ Existed, which I thought was totally sweet. I looked it up, and my blood started boiling.
The official definition is as follows
Definition: Abbreviation for 'Before Common Era', a non-religious alternative to the use of B.C. in designating the first period of the Gregorian Calendar, the era of prehistory and much of antiquity.

You try to take religion out of our schools. You try to take it out of our government. You try to take it out of our homes and even our churches sometimes. Listen here and listen close. You will NOT take it from my family and you cannot rewrite history!! It is HIS STORY. Not yours.
I have felt this super strong desire to write about this since Bible study last night, but this has sent me over the edge.
Our country was built on religious freedom. Those of you who aren't aware of the Mayflower Compact and what it REALLY said as opposed to what history books teach our children it is put at the bottom of this post.
Why is it our society is so worried about offending everyone BUT us. As a Christian,  I am offended tonight. I am angry. Stop trying to take God out of everything and open your eyes because you are believing lies, people. God is EVERYTHING and He loves you despite your lies. Our founding fathers knew it. Just take a look at the text and you will see it. As Christians, we need to be strong in our faith and strong in our pursuit of the truth. Those who do not believe do not deserve to be persecuted, but they do have the right to be enlightened. It is not our place to shove it in their faces as they shove it in ours. We should encourage them to believe and pray for them because that is our strongest weapon against the lies. So tonight, I pray for the writers and everyone involved in that game show. I pray that the Lord opens their eyes and their hearts and helps them to see past the lies and go with the proven facts. Jesus lived on this Earth. He died for our sins and was raised from the dead so that we may live. Praise be to Him!!  Please see note below***

Mayflower Compact

"In the name of God, Amen. We whose names are under-written, the loyal subjects of our dread sovereign Lord, King James, by the grace of God, of Great Britain, France, and Ireland King, Defender of the Faith, etc. Having undertaken, for the glory of God, and advancement of the Christian faith, and honor of our King and Country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia, do by these presents solemnly and mutually, in the presence of God, and one of another, covenant and combine our selves together into a civil body politic, for our better ordering and preservation and furtherance of the ends aforesaid; and by virtue hereof to enact, constitute, and frame such just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience. In witness whereof we have hereunder subscribed our names at Cape Cod, the eleventh of November [New Style, November 21], in the year of the reign of our sovereign lord, King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth. Anno Dom. 1620." **** Please note I did not insert any references to God in this compact. They were written by those who came over on the Mayflower. They came here for the glory of God. How about we honor their sacrifice and give praises to God for the gift of this incredible land they paved the way through for us because we all owe them a debt we can never pay. You are history. You live it each moment. How are you going to live this day? Tomorrow? Are you going to sit quietly while others are feeding lies? Or are you going to bravely move forward and challenge those lies? I say, anyone who disagrees with me, GREAT! Let's talk. I'd love to show you where my facts come from.

Special Moments

Sometimes a moment happens in this world that we can never prepare ourselves for. That moment came for me yesterday. Papaw was laid to rest yesterday. No, he's not related to me by blood, but that never mattered. He always accepted me and was always the kindest man. It also helps to see the love and genuine respect he gets from absolutely everyone he meets. He is a sepcial man who will truly be missed, but there is more to this than that.
Sometime in the afternoon, Jan asked me to go back to Granny's room to see if she was sleeping or not. 
Granny was awake when I checked in on her. She saw me there and speechlessly, I stepped further into the room. I was suddenly like the little kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar. After 17 years around this family, I know my place with her. As all spouses of the grandkids, we are accepted but always an outsider. I moved on tentatively.
"I was just checking to see if you need anything," I stammered as I walked in the room.
As she reached for me she said, "I love you, Kim" and pulled me into a tight embrace. I have never heard her say that before, and I didn't know how to respond. I cannot even start to express the love I felt in that very moment. Rare to see me at a lack of words, but there I was without them.
"Those babies so love their Papaw," she said.
"We all do Granny."
"What am I going to do without him?"
As the tears came, I held on tight and reassured her that Papaw is watching out for her and that one day, a long time from now she will be reunited with him. My heart broke as I thought of the 60 years together and how very lost this strong woman must be feeling.
I spent the next ten minutes holding the one woman who I had always thought hated me in my arms as she clung tight to me needing a reassurance that I hadn't expected to be the one to make.
We talked about how Papaw was no longer no longer in pain and was always a very patient man. We talked about the sweet rest he would have in Heaven and how he is in better hands now. We talked about how he is forever in her heart and would wait for her to catch up. We held each other so tight and so long that I could feel her ache.
I know her pain. I know her loss. But no one can ever understand losing your one true love until they go through it. I knew I couldn't even start to touch that pain, so at that moment I said the one thing that laid on my heart. I looked in her eyes and told her that we all are nothing without God. Moving forward can only be done in His strength and in His time. We hugged really tight once again before I told her to try to rest before leaving the room.
I will never forget that moment with her and today, I pray for her loss and her forward motion as she tries to face each day without the love of her life.
We don't know how she will move forward at this point, but God gives us strength of heart just when we need it most. I know He is with her, and that gives me comfort. Friends, hug someone today. Give them a smile. Tell them that even if they are completely lost in this world, God loves them. And be that example of God's love..be the Christian He wants you to be.

Almost there

I had a friend make a simple post on Facebook that brought instant tears to my face. It was a link to a blog article that simply stated 18 Summers.
I have been dreading the end of the year because it never fails, my children spend about 90 percent of the summer fighting. But those words just changed it all.
We have 18 Summers with our children. 
Take that in for a second. 18 precious years that seem so very long, but in the scheme of things are so short. When you think about the short time we actually have, it's hard to digest. It seems like just yesterday, I was sitting in my recliner in Peoria, Illinois rubbing my belly wondering what my precious Alec was going to look like and what kind of personality he would have. Today, I realized we are on his 9th Summer. Suddenly I wonder has it been enough. We are halfway there, but did I make each summer count for him!
We always think we have plenty of time, but do we really! We often fill our summers with the continuance of insane schedules. All kinds of things.. that are just that.. things.
This year, I have all intentions of getting up early and getting my work done for the most part when my children are still in bed. I don't want the computer to be all they remember about their summer. I want them to remember playing in the sprinkler, eating popsicles and going to the park. I want them to remember homemade ice cream and special time with their grandparents. I want them to remember sweet summer rain and playing in it.  I want them to remember like I do because memories never fade, so we really need to make them count.

Unexpected Sources of Peanuts

As I contemplated what to share today, I thought of things that surprised me when we first found out about Owen's allergies. What all foods peanuts were in. It's crazy, quite honestly, the number of things. We were so very blessed to be newly diagnosed when the FDA passed regulations regarding food labels. They clearly had to list those top allergens, like peanuts. And now have to say that they were manufactured on shared equipment. That in itself is a whole other can of worms.
But what kinds of foods have peanuts in them besides the logical, peanuts and peanut butter? Let's take a look at this individually.

• Sauces such as chili sauce, hot sauce, pesto, gravy, mole  sauce, and salad dressing - most often these are better and healthier homemade, so that is something to consider when purchasing sauces.
• Sweets such as pudding, cookies, and hot chocolate - This particular group isn't as surprising when you think of cookies and then pudding, but the hot chocolate threw us for a loop.
• Egg rolls - A lot of Asian cooking contains nuts. We avoid all Asian restaurants when Owen is with us to be proactive.
• Potato pancakes - This one surprised me at one point. My recommendation is to save your own mashed potatoes and make them yourselves. ;-) Again, homemade is always better when dealing with food allergies. Only you can control the ingredients in your foods.
• Pet food - Dog food and bird seed are two big culprits for having peanuts as an ingredient. Many dog's enjoy the taste of peanut butter. It's added protein to foods can be invaluable, but you have to be careful not to purchase those foods that include it. I say that because, imagine your dog ate his food and then "kissed" a peanut allergy kid. That can cause a severe reaction!!
• Specialty pizzas- Again, homemade is so much better. It's always a good rule of thumb to ask about ingredients. If they can't tell you, it's not worth it.
• Asian and Mexican dishes - As I said before, many Asian dishes have peanuts in them, as do Mexican dishes. Best rule of thumb is to avoid.
• Some vegetarian food products, especially those advertised as meat substitutes
• Foods that contain extruded, cold-pressed, or expelled peanut oil, which may contain peanut protein - Many allergists will actually tell you that you can have peanut oil, but they aren't specific that some peanut oils like the one listed here actually have those peanut proteins that individuals are allergic to.
• Glazes and marinades - These are very similar to sauces. They just aren't worth it for the most part.

Who doesn't grow up excited to go to the ice cream parlor to get a scoop with Pap or Ms. Nancy (she was our neighbor who would come get me and my sis and take us to Dairy Queen after we already had our jammies on- the shock ;-). Such fond memories)? Well, Owen, that's who. And kids like him. Dairy Queen is a dangerous place for him, actually. Ever watch them make blizzards, throwing chocolate candies (the ones with the peanut butter in them) around like they are nothing. There is cross contamination everywhere in that place, and they mark it as such everywhere. Graeter's? Who in Ohio doesn't just love that place? Owen, again. How sad that I remember going up there to get ice cream the entire time I was pregnant with him. We lived just across the tracks from there and it was such an incredible temptation, but the scoops are shared. We have been there a few times, and they are always incredible about getting a clean scoop from the back for us. But it's a nervous place for us.

And speaking of chocolate. You all know those orange wrappers. Owen knows them too. Sitting at baseball practice a few weeks ago, I saw someone open one of those and started to tell Owen to be careful when he calmly looked at me and said, "Mom, orange wrapper, be careful." hee hee. My little boy is growing up and knows what to avoid. I'd be in trouble if Reese's ever changed the color of their wrapper. But it's not just the orange ones. Hershey's? Typically a no-no. The big packages that have 6 full sized bars in them, those are the safe ones, manufactured in clean facilities. And chocolate chips are another item to be careful of.
The list actually could go on and on and on, but I hope I've given you thought about the ingredients you put in your food. I already shared what has and could happen again if Owen were exposed to peanuts. It could be worse next time. Remember, nothing changes without education. Make sure that you be proactive and educate yourself. I focus on peanuts because those are the worst in our house, but the seven common allergens that are severe are peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, milk, fish and shellfish. These are all life-threatening as well as others, so try to be mindful when you have dinner guests or are participating in a bake sale even.

Food Allergy Awareness Week

Food allergies are dangerous. If I don't get any other point across this week about them, please take that one piece of information and always keep it in the back of your head.
I'd like to take you to a dark day in our lives to show you the danger. Going back to December 4, 2009. It was a day like any others; running around ragged and trying to get everything done we needed to. That evening was Owen's special Christmas program at preschool, and we were all excited. We got all the kids together and went to enjoy the show. The preschool is awesome, first of all, and have a great organization to each event they have. Cookies are shared at the end of the performances so everyone has a chance at fellowship. I remember watching that program and being in awe of my big boy in his performance.
Once it was all done, the boys went with Wade to get some juice and cookies (please remember the preschool is a peanut-free environment) while I changed the baby's diaper. When the girls joined the boys, I saw they were already seated eating their cookies and didn't think anything of it at first as I was looking but not really seeing. Then I saw the one thing a food allergy kid Mom never wants to see and my heart stopped.
I saw my baby boy putting a cookie in his mouth that I knew was one that typically had peanut butter in it. Wade said that I became some strange super woman who smacked the cookie from his hand and shoved a Benadryl down his throat all in one second. Then I went in search of Ms. Julia, our preschool director. I needed to know what was in those cookies. I needed to know if he was truly in danger or if I was over-reacting. *Please note that Wade allowed the boys to get their own cookies and as a man, isn't aware of the typical ingredients in most cookies. He thought the cookie was sugar cookie. Remember, peanut-free environment.
After a few agonizing minutes and an announcement, my worst fears were confirmed. It had peanut butter in it. We called 911 and waited for the paramedics in the hall, praying we wouldn't have to use the epipen. I sat there holding Owen and making him repeat his alphabet. We started that to determine if we could hear a change in this voice or his breathing. We thought it would help us to know if it had gotten bad. The paramedics came and were great with him. They said while his heart rate was up, he seemed fine. Just watch him and the best thing would be for him to throw up. We went back in and felt better but not 5 minutes later, Owen threw up everywhere and started breaking out in hives. The reaction was continuing, and it was getting worse. Our preschool family was so very concerned as were we. We decided to stop at Station House 1 (the main fire station in our area) on the way home to have them check him out. When I brought him in, the 6 guys standing around understood my concern, but again, only his heart rate was elevated. They recommended more Benadryl and watching him. We took him home and did what they told us.
My heart said it was wrong. As I held Owen and prayed harder than I have ever prayed before, I felt my baby boy weaken and watched him transform before my eyes. He went from his beautiful pasty white winter skin to this horrendous red rash that covered him from head to toe. He was burning up suddenly and I was at a loss for what to do. We called friends for Alec and Sofia and rushed Owen to the emergency room.
That night is so much of a blur. The nurses tried to give him oral medication, but he couldn't keep it down. The doctor finally put the "straw" (iv) as they told Owen into his arm and pumped him full of steriods and epinephrine. They were fighting to save my baby's life, and I was helpless to do anything. They said his organs were the first to react to the peanuts. He was having an internal reaction rather than one we would normally see. He was in anaphylactic shock the minute the first paramedics were on the scene, but none of us could see it. Every reaction is different, but Owen's wasn't typical or was it easy to spot.
We spent a good portion of the night praying over our little boy before I finally sent Wade home because we knew he had to go to work the next morning. I remember him waking up the next morning and squeezing my hand. My heart burst with love as he told me he was hungry and tired and wanted to know when we were going to be able to go home. As any of my Mom friends can attest to, seeing your child in pain is one thing, but if you ever see your child fight for his life, you have seen one day too many.
This wasn't just over with the discharge from the hospital. You have to remember that his father gave him the cookie. Wade felt guilty; a guilt that no Daddy should ever have to feel.  He didn't mean to do it; it was an accident. Owen doesn't remember that night, thank goodness, but he does remember the cookie. And he remembers the days and months after of being sick and eventually (6 months later) being diagnosed with asthma because his lungs never fully recovered from the reaction. He actually shys away from cookies now because he does know what can happen.
Our baby is still alive, but the lesson from this story is that ignorance can cause death. The mother that ignored the signs and reminders that were posted everywhere that there to be no peanut products included in the cookies.. the mother that put my child's life in danger.. She chose to bring those cookies. She chose to ignore the warnings. She could have killed my child. Food allergies are dangerous, but equally as dangerous is not being careful. We learned many lessons that night, but the most important is that we need to be diligent to teach Owen how to live in a peanut world. It's everywhere, and no matter how determined I am to keep him safe, I cannot possibly get rid of the peanut industry (although I would love to). So, I prayed and determined that the lesson I could take from God in all this was that it is my job to make sure anyone I have contact with is educated and knows how severe food allergies can be.
Food allergies are dangerous. Food allergies can kill. Be alert. Be safe. and Be AWARE.

You want me to put what where and do what?

I believe my title says it all. So, I have worked super hard to get control of my eating, as many of you know, but I felt like it was time to start working on the whole exercise thing. Yes, that was the only 8 letter word that I considered worse than cursing. But I have been walking and added working out last Thursday. Doing really good and decided to plunge right into the P90X workout that Wade decided it was time to get.
Tony is his name. He's actually quite motivating. Another friend of mine thinks he's annoying. I can see that, but I marvel at his form and yeah, well, he does have a body that reminds me of a Greek god. I'm not looking to get ripped, although, that would be really cool one day. I'm looking to get fit, and P90X does that for people. Am I ready to do all the workouts, heck no!! I don't know a skinny person ready to do all the workouts. After doing some of the "easier" (Whatever) workouts the past few days, I decided to suck it up and start the actual process today. I did chest and back as well as the ab ripper. HOLY CRAP. While my calves are hurting from yesterday's jump roping exercises, thanks to You Tube (Great place to get workouts btw), I have to say my arms are already sore and my abs will never be the same.  I had no clue I even had muscles in some of those places!!
But I'm one step closer to the right direction. I am sure it would please Bob (yeah, I'm a Biggest Loser fan) to know that I'm starting the process and working hard.
So tomorrow is another day, and I can't wait to see what plyometrics are. I think I am in for some insanity tomorrow ;-) I will have to update you when I survive and if I can still walk when this is all over.

Thank you!

Today is a day to thank our service men and women who have found victory on the battle field. That being said, I do not wish to offend by saying the rest of this, but this is NOT a day to celebrate!!!
As an American, I can say that it is most satisfying to know that there are great individuals out there protecting our country and doing their job. For that, I am very thankful. As a Christian, I cannot help but think that God is a little sad today.

The Bible says that God never rejoices at the death of the wicked. "Say to them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, people of Israel?’" Ezekiel 33:11
If we are to be Christlike, then we must not rejoice in the death of Bin Laden, the death of the unsaved. It is a sad thing when someone dies and goes into Hell. No Christian who has God's love in their heart should be glad to see anyone go to Hell. Many people rejoice that sinners are burning, but God is not pleased about it. God does not want ANY soul to perish in Hell.
"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

I know this isn't popular thought today, but I can't help but be sad with God today. I see His tears in our rain. I say a prayer to thank God for the individuals who protect our country and even those who have "brought down the enemy," but I will not choose to celebrate the death of a sinner and the condemnation to Hell.

We sit numb....

You know the feeling. We didn't just watch a man die here. We watched our Jesus die. We saw Him hang from the cross. We watched him suffer. We fear the Jewish leaders. We hide from them hoping to save ourselves. It's the day after, and we sit here numb.......

There isn't much information in the Bible about the Saturday after. It is a day meant for rest and reflection because on this day Jesus "rested" in the tomb. This Silent Saturday is a long day. A long long day. It represents life as it is for all of us in so many ways. Though we like to say that we live on the other side of Easter and that of course is true in the ultimate sense, it is also true that we live somewhere between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

The crucifixion is behind us, but death is still with us. The final victory lies somewhere in the future. Every funeral reminds us that the final enemy that will be destroyed is death. Death was defeated by Jesus, but it has not yet been destroyed. That happy day is still in front of us.

Get ready!!! Something is about to happen that hasn't happened yet!! Thank God!!!! Praise the Lord that we are not moving back toward the crucifixion. It may be Saturday, but we're moving toward Easter. Sunday's coming. All we have to do is hold on a little while longer and Sunday will be here.

I say Keep the Faith! Yesterday our Lord was crucified. Today his body lies in the tomb. Tomorrow he rises from the dead. Saturday can seem like a long day. It is! But be positive. The crucifixion is behind us, and Saturday will not last forever. Sooner than we think, Sunday will be here.


We are on the march from Good Friday through Holy Saturday to Easter Sunday. We aren't quite there, but we're moving in the right direction. It's Saturday, but Sunday's coming. Let that thought give strength to your heart today.

When Girls go WILD

Now, I'm not talking taking clothes off and being crazy drunk, although, I kinda am. hee hee. I have determined that having a girl makes everything different!! EVERYTHING! They aren't like boys. They don't react to things in the same way nor do they expect things in a similar manner.
Take my sweet and sometimes hard to tolerate Monkeypants. I adore her, don't get me wrong. I'm blessed to have a little girl that I treasure and love, but she IS going to be the death of me!!! Let's talk specifics here.
In just the past month, she has managed to run away 2 times, climb three shelves up on her built-in bookcase to get and spread lotion throughout her bedroom (and cleaned it up, mind you), pour a 5 lb bag of flour on herself, the dog and the dog's bed, dump every box of baking powder or soda (I can never tell the difference between the two) all over the floor in front of the pantry, put sprinkles in every nook and cranny that exists in my house, drink enough hand sanitizer to get drunk but not sick and deleted the $4.99 app from my iPad that she plays the most. All of this accomplished with an adult somewhere close by and present. SERIOUSLY!! It isn't like we leave her alone for an extended period of time. We have found that we can't.
She can undo any child lock you put in front of her and has been the reason for the newly purchased iron gate that stands above my waist in my hallway and the antique door newly installed and locked to prevent her leaving this one space. And yet, I maintain that the child will be the death of me. Even when everything is removed from her grasp, she still manages to trash things. And when she has nothing to trash, it's cool to climb all over Mommy as if she is a jungle gym preventing her from getting a single thing done. As she is doing this very minute. I've learned to type under some certainly extreme situations-- my editor will appreciate that one day. ;-)



I believe that God has a really good sense of humor. My children show me that. The 9 year old who refuses to smile for a picture until I tell him to think of something funny in which he bursts out laughing so hard I think he's going to cry. When asked what struck him so funny, he replies, "you, Mom, in skinny jeans." REALLY! Or my dear 6 year old, who cannot possibly go through a single day without making me laugh so hard my face hurts. With his over dramatic hand motions as he tries to explain his point or his point in general that tends to be just slightly off kilter. And my precious Monkeypants.... all 2 years of ornery and sweetness rolled into one. If I didn't laugh at her, I would probably cry.
Just when I'm about to meltdown or need a Mommy Time Out, God throws me an insight that makes me have to smile and remember, I have to be flexible because that's what it is like to be a Mommy. Forever cleaning those messes that we didn't anticipate or cuddling because that is just what is needed at that time, despite the busy lives we lead and the "to do list" that never gets done.
Just remember.....
Psalm 127:3

Children are a heritage from the LORD,
   offspring a reward from him.

Thank you, dear Jesus for such blessings and such reward. I am forever grateful for the gifts that you provide.

For the Love of Flowers

When I moved into this house almost 6 years ago, I had hopes and dreams of keeping a beautiful flower garden in all the flower beds. There were hostas, black-eyed Susans, some big bushes that I couldn't even name, some purple flowers the previous owner had had in her wedding that I TRIED to kill but still haven't died, lots of different varieties of flowers.
My dream quickly faded as some of the best, sturdiest plants became overtaken by weeds. Man, I tried. I really did. But with 2 small children at that time and life's devious plans to move forward faster despite my need for time to slow down, it became completely impossible to keep up with those weeds. At one point, I actually couldn't tell the weeds for the flowers and was sure I would be fined by the city for not trimming them. I actually had that conversation with Wade. We decided it was time to do something about it and spent an entire month, it seemed buckled into that front flower garden getting rid of the weeds. It took every effort we had, only to find more weeds the following week. I thought we were doomed!!
But I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and was okay with the disaster that was my front yard, so long as my dear neighbor, Nick, did not improve his. Despite the fact that my friends and family joked about turning me into the HGTV show, Desperate Landscapes, I still knew that it could have been worse. I mean, I watched that show all the time. There were some pretty desperate lawns on that show. Yes, I was in some serious denial at that time.

Then one day, the horrible happened, not only had Nick done a little work in his yard, it looked better than mine!!!! And THEN, something that was spectacular but detrimental happened. Angela. My sweet and precious friend that I truly love and loathe at the same time. She has a green thumb. The greenest of all. She had hopes and desires, not different than my own when I had moved into our house. She was going to turn Nick's flower beds into something beautiful. Let me back up. Angela, Nick's girlfriend, had come to visit from India (and I can't wait until she lives her permanently because I miss her more than I would miss my left arm!). Angela was putting a great female twist on Nick's life, but we won't go into the smile that she put on his face and all that lovey-dovey stuff. It's about the flowers. The plants. That is why I say loathe. I don't have ill will for her whatsoever; I just cannot believe the awesome work she put in.
I would see her each day, out in the garden, weeding and planting new seeds and making a work of art. I even saw Nick out there doing work like the new paver patio and knew I was in trouble. So, I buckled down and began to work as hard as I could on my front flower bed. Rearranged things, bought some new bulbs, tried to take out those stupid blue plants again (they have already started coming up this year, so I'm doomed to keep the ones I do not like), put in a new bush at the end as I had taken out the big ones that were up there before and put in new weed cloth and mulch to finish out the bed. Then to top it all off and make it even better, I put a new border of stones around the front and a little fence to frame the back. Everyone in the neighborhood would come around and comment if we were out on how great it looked (which only goes to show they were surely talking about it before :-\)

Angela's Daffodils

Why do I mention this today? Well, I weeded my flower bed this morning with Angela on my mind. Thinking how proud she would be of me. I have a jump start on the season and am going to get mulch by the end of the day so that I can cover the hostas and protect them from the cold weather over the next few weeks. As I stood with my glove on pulling out weeds, I glanced over to see Angela's beautiful daffodils. And the start of her new tulips that she planted knowing she would not get to see them this year. I couldn't help but feel sad. I have been thinking of her gift of friendship to us and how she makes us better people. And her gift to Nick, her flowers. Last year as we planted together and decided what flowers should be there, she planned those flowers that she knew would come up when she went back home. And each time they came up, I'm sure they made Nick smile because they made me smile and my children who love her so much. This beautiful woman has come into our lives from halfway around the world to give us love in flowers.They are wonderful reminders that she will be back to tend them before we even realize it. But in the meantime, we will send her pictures and make sure the flowers are tended to because God gives us precious friends to remind us of the kind of people we should be. So today as I look to getting mulch, I will think of Angela's flowers and smile knowing the joy the pictures will bring her until she can come home again.

Beautiful Firsts

So yesterday, we treated the kids out to McDonald's and since they had been so good, we let them have ice cream cones.
This is a first for Sofia. Yeah, my 2 year old has never had an ice cream cone. So Wade took the kids up to get them and each had theirs to carry. When he hands hers to her, her little eyes were suddenly as big as ever and her grin matched. Oh what a great look on her face. Then she took her first bite. It was so cute to watch her eating that thing and being so happy. You could see she felt like such a big girl.
Imagine our surprise when she spit out a tiny bite of the cone. She kinda freaked and kept saying broken. I realized she didn't realize it could be eaten. It was just a vessel for her. So, I asked Alec to show her it can be eaten. She looked at him as if he were crazy at first, and then took her first bite. She looked at me like WHAT. hee hee. It was so darn cute.

These are the first that lighten my heart. I love all my babies first moments, but this is one of those different kinds. It's not like she'd been trying to do something and finally achieved it. It's a first cone, one of many more in her beautiful life I'm sure. I love the moment it created for us as a family as we giggle and enjoyed her personality each moment of that little cone. I praise the Lord for those moments... as those are the ones I treasure the most.

Living your Passion

So many of us live our lives never realizing our one true passion in life...that one skill in our lives that God has given us to provide us with a meaningful, truly happy existence. If you do not combine your work with your passion you will never achieve excellence and fulfillment. 

What blocks you from finding your passion, even integrating it into your current work? Is work meant to be boring, only a paycheck? Is fulfilling God's Will always sacrificial of your passions? If you follow your passions, will your income drop dramatically? No, I don't think so.

Do you know someone who is a person of passion? Can you think about their qualities and what makes them so passionate?
During a tough battle in World War II, General George Patton, one of the greatest military leaders of all time, said about battle, "God, I love it!" King David, also a warrior,s aid, "God, I love you!" Who would you like to be associated? Think about it for a minute. No, seriously. King David was a passionate warrior as can be seen throughout 2 Samuel. (2 Samuel 5:18-25, 21:15-22:4, 22:29-32 and in Psalm 18:2-3, 18:30-40, 60:10) How did David express his passion for God and what did that do for him?
What can it do for you? We are in a time where most of us are not in the military. We go to work every day and spend our 40 hours doing what? What kind of passion do we find there? Why is our passion so infrequently seen at work?

David's world of work and his passion for God were integrated. He said, "God is my rock...my stronghold, my refuge, and my savior" (2 Samuel 22:3). If your world of work (or school or everyday living) and your passion for God were integrated, chose the words you might use to complete this sentence: "God is my ...


I answer that saying inspiration. I am living my passion of writing and truly loving life. Time with my children and husband. Fulfilled by the Holy Spirit in a very fulfilling work. What is your passion? Do you live it?

Outrageous

I have waited out typing this emotional blog for a few days because my heart wasn't ready to face the insane truth in life. People do not care about other people, even children. And on top of that, they are teaching their children not to care.
Ignorance angers me beyond words. Ignorance scares me beyond words. Ignorance frustrates me to words. As I sit here typing this there is another mother praying over her child who is sick because of a deadly allergy to peanuts.... There is a mother praying over her child who is living with a deadly allergy to peanuts... There is a mother praying over her child's grave because of a deadly allergy to peanuts. I am not writing this for anyone but those mothers who walk this line with me. Please read on if you don't live it though as you deserve to not be ignorant.
As I prepared for bed the other night, the news teased me with a story. Let me allow you to read it for yourself.....http://www.cfnews13.com/article/news/2011/march/216839/Peanut-allergy-panic-at-Edgewater-school-has-peeved-parents-protesting
Now let me vent, dear friends. These parents are the ignorant that bring me to tears. I sit listening to stories like this and can't help but think of that battle I prepared for when I started the process of entering the schools. My little Owen needed an advocate, and we are his parents, the only true individuals in this world that give a crap about his life or death.
I have dear friends that i know think me crazy. I have friends who believe life must include peanut butter and their children might die without it. I have friends who say they understand who can never fathom the depths of what could happen. And I love them all, but until i educate them and others i haven't done my true job of protecting my child or living the destiny that God has given me.
Children with peanut allergies live their lives knowing that at any minute, it could be their last. Wanna know how severe, have ONE conversation with Owen about his allergy. Last week he came home from school and said, "Mom, know why I am wearing my fanny pack (he carries his epipen on him) on my hip?" I replied, "No, bud. Why?" His reply just shows how young he truly is. "I can unzip with this hand (left) and grab my pen like a gun in those things and stab my leg in seconds. I can be the hero and the hurt guy all at the same time."
How very sad that he lives in a world in which there are parents teaching their children that it is okay to pick on kids like him and parents who think washing their hands and mouths are an interruption into their children's school day. My response to that is this, "Do any of you care that a child can die in the hands of your own child because of your carelessness? Do any of you understand the interruption in the day should a peanut allergy child actually be exposed at school? Do you understand the emotional damage to a child who has to witness another child going into anaphylactic shock? Do any of you truly care about the life of a child and how can you possibly live with yourself and your ignorance knowing that you are fighting against a child's life!!"
I can tell you stories upon stores, but i will save that for my book. Yes, I am working on that as I have time. In the meantime, I urge teachers, parents, children even to educate themselves on this. Educate yourself on what your schools are doing. Those in our school district, know that there are safeguards n place for kids like Owen and if the severity increases, so do those safeguards. Anyone who has the nerve to tell me to my face to keep my kid home because their children deserve an education of convenience over my child, you will get my opinion. I love to educate and I will fight to the end of MY life educating those ignorant because if we keep going like this, no one will ever learn....

Another Blessed Day

I am so blessed. I could say that and be done with this post quite honestly.
I'm not going to tell you all the hopes for my birthday (like my voice to come back) and all that boring stuff. I don't want to brag about my amazing husband. I don't want to invoke crazy jealousy about that stud. It just wouldn't be right.
Today, I just want to share in my joy of The Lord.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Trials Help Us Grow

Well, the week has been very trying and unfortunately, when that happens, it's so very easy to fall into old habits. I didn't eat as healthy this week as I did my first week. My weigh in this morning was 260.4. While that is still a loss of .4 pounds, that seems so insignificant to me. I am not in the slightest bit ready to quit or moving into my frustration zone as far as the weight loss. I know what I did wrong. I spent the week frustrated about this and that and overwhlemed by the million tasks I had put on my plate (excuse the pun). This week isn't any easier when it comes to work things, but I have Dad around to help relieve some of the burden. Although this morning, he was quick to tell me that I'm just like my Mom running myself in a million different directions. I will choose to ignore that like my Mom reference. Despite loving her, I am not ready to be like her. ;-)
I have felt that God has given me these weeks for trials, and I won't say that I failed because I didn't. I still lost some weight (albeit small and probably more water weight than anything). I will say that I succumbed quite a bit to the pressure. But it is another new week and another opportunity to do His Will. We have made efforts to improve the organization around the house, with doing extra toddler proofing to prevent future episodes of Sofia dumping out baking soda or drinking hand sanitizer or toothpaste. I believe that will help us to be able to do what we need to do to be successful and feel better about things. I do ask for your continued prayers and support as we keep going. And again, I invite those who are interested to walk with me. Wednesdays and Fridays at my church 10 am until we are pooped.
Well, as I finish this, Owen just poked Sofia in the eye. She is screaming. He is fighting back and it's time for lunch and Mommy needs some serious quite time!!! Love and Prayers to All.

No use crying over spilt lotion

My daughter is notoriously known for being able to cause incredible mass destruction in a matter of seconds. This morning is no different than any other with her powers of insanity in high gear. She got up at a decent time and was calmly watching tv in her room when I decided to go make breakfast. Mind you, my kitchen isn't in China or even further than a few rooms away, but seconds is all it takes. Her room was what we considered childproof.
Unfortunately, my sweet monkeypants figured out early how to undo the child lock on anything that we had locked up. She trashed the room yesterday by getting everything out of every toy basket and every door, which is no surprise and happens all the time. That is the reason that hadn't gotten cleaned up yet. Well, this morning to top it all off, she decided that it would be a great idea to get the big bottle of lotion that was 3 shelves up on her shelving unit. 3 shelves up!!! That required some climbing, of course.
Imagine my surprise when I went to her room to find her and most of the room covered in lotion. We are talking the radio, the shelves, the toys. THE WALL. I'm still trying to figure out how she got it. I seriously was gone the length of time it takes to take a bowl out of the cabinet and put cereal in it. That's it. No milk. nothing. Just cereal. 3-4 seconds max. And in that time she climbed and dispersed an entire bottle of lotion everywhere.

While this is very frustrating, and I hope she and I both learned a lesson (not sure what that one is yet) I'm trying to be positive and not think of the time it is taking away from other things I need to get done. I am thinking of the quality time with my monkeypants. Working together (only cause I've locked us in the room together until it is cleaned up). Just to give you an idea of the destruction, I have taken a photo because no  mess like this should go without a picture (reminds me of the time Owen dumped out an almost full gallon of paint in the kitchen..... hmmm must run in the family). Off to finish the cleaning! How exciting to get this memorable moment with my daughter. hee hee. ;-)

Drum Roll Please

I am quite pleased to say that I sit here typing this blog 6.6 pounds lighter!!! Official weigh in is 260.8 pounds.
YEAH!! Great victory, but I can't just be excited and not admit my faults as I go through this cycle or it will never end.
"At the same time the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don't know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes along with our groans that cannot be expressed in words." --Romans 8:26 (God's Word Translation)
We all have moments of weakness in any sin that we encounter, but God is with us. The Spirit is there to guide us by giving us strength to bear those weakness and exciting us to make efforts to sustain them and allowing us to endure those trials by ministering to us consolations and truths.
There aren't always words appropriate for situations. Sometimes we know what we need, but we just cannot express those needs. Even writers get writer's block. The Holy Spirit is the spring of all desires toward God, which are often more than words can utter. The Spirit who searches the hearts, can perceive the mind and will of the spirit, the renewed mind, and advocates his cause. The Spirit makes intercession to God, and the enemy does not prevail.
How is that associated with weight loss? Remember my first blog.. this is a sin. At least it is for me. I have sinned and fell short. Saying it isn't easy. Knowing what to ask God for is something I'm finding this week to be challenging to say the least. Is it selfish to pray for God's help? Am I asking the right things?  I also find it challenging to not only know what to ask for, but to feel strength in those moments when chocolate used to fix the situation.
I cannot say that I feel alone in this battle. I am almost overwhelmed by the strength that I can only attribute to my precious friends who are with me, no matter what their size. I, quite honestly, didn't realize how many people were reading my blog. I thank you guys. It is truly awesome to feel all of your hands on my shoulder as I go through the day making good decisions about health and nutrition.
I did have meals this week that weren't necessarily the best choices, but a meal here or there did not hurt the end results. I found that I couldn't think about that meal and stress out over it when I had another one to plan for the next day. So, I take on this second week with renewed strength and lighter feet with a thank you to all those who had encouraging words and an extension of fellowship to all those who need this journey as much as I do. Walk with me friends. Literally and figuratively. We walk at our church while we have cold weather, if you are local and wish to join us, let me know!! We welcome the fellowship. If you can't be here, awesome, do what you can. Park further out when you go to the store. Walk around every aisle at Walmart. (DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT STORE IS!! hee hee). Take some extra steps with me and please, any healthy and easy recipes are more than welcome. Through God, all things are possible!!

Shake What Your Momma Gave you

I decided yesterday I want to dance. Then the little Veggie Tales song from Jimmy Gourd went through my mind, and I almost laughed out loud in church.
The lyrics are actually pretty perfect for me. I am a girl though and pretend me singing this in my biggest, most dramatic voice ;-)
Ever since I was a little boy
In widely tailored pants
My only aspiration was to
Be a gourd... who danced.

But for what it's worth
My portly girth
Only served to make folks giggle
'Cuz the more I moved
The more I proved
All I could do was... jiggle.

I want to dance!
I want to groove!
I need to feel
The rush!
Of the wind!
Under my shoes!

I want to dance...

You get the point. ;-) So, I wanted to jiggle (and I WAS listening to the sermon, Bill, so please don't think me a heathen). I decided we should get a dancing Wii game and asked Wade after church if we could go to Best Buy. As I looked and contemplated getting Dance on Broadway but I couldn't see myself dancing to Luck be a Lady. Kept looking through and wasn't sure the best bet. I watched an actual Zumba class and almost peed my pants laughing at the possibility that I would even ever try that. So, I settled on one that would be great for the entire family.... Just Dance Kids. With 40 songs ranging from Pop goes the Weasel to Who let the Dogs Out, it is perfect for the entire family.

So after our family walk, Owen and I decided it was time to start dancing. HOLY CRAP!! I have been walking at a great brisk pace and doing a good job keeping up with my skinny walking partner, but this made that look like a cake walk (excuse the sweet food reference hee hee). I was determined to get 20 minutes in and that was exactly the extent of what I was able to do. Apparently the dance that went along with Happy Birthday was too much for me as it had me sweating and done for the day!!!
But I DID IT!!! I danced for 20 minutes with only breaks in between songs as we selected the next one. I am so excited to do it again. This morning we have various errands to run and will be dancing at some point as I need to get in some movement on this very dreary day.
The encouragement I would like to pass on today to you, my dear friends, is to shake it. You can choose, as I do at this time, to shake it in the privacy of your own home. Or go out and find a great dance class (I know a wonderful dance studio in Lewis Center that does Zumba and hear the Y's class here in Grove City is super). No matter what though, let's get moving as sitting idle is not achieving our goals!! Weight check in tomorrow. A little nervous as I had a few off meals this weekend, but tomorrow is another day. God Bless and Keep moving!

And So It Begins

I am obese. I know, I know, not a huge shock there. It's quiet clear to everyone who has vision.
I looked in the mirror the other day and realized I really am fat. To those of you skinny snots out there, that isn't something that you know a thing about. It really does sneak up on you. On your thighs. On your arms. Around your waist and even in your eyes. Sounds strange to say that, but look into the eyes of a fat chick and you will see it all. We wear our heart on our sleeve and in our eyes. All of those fat cells seem to suck the life out of our eyes. As I stood staring at myself and what I've become I was ashamed.
I realized that God had given me a body and I pissed away his gift. (forgive me for the strong use of word, but that is truly what I feel right now).
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body," 1 Cor. 6:19-20
He bought and paid for me and what have I done in return!! It's like when you are 16 and your parents buy you your first car. You don't change the oil. You only find out E doesn't mean Enough when your Dad tells you as he's come to fill it with the can meant for the lawnmower. You let the tires get worn down and the interior looks like the inside of a trash can. Your a teenager who doesn't take care of her new toy. In no time, one bad choice right after another turns into the car of your dreams being something you really don't even want to get into because it looks bad. It rides bad. It feels bad. Guess what, I'm that car. And lately I most certainly feel like a worn out car.
Waking up fat is not something pretty. It takes time. It takes patience and it takes a fortitude that many don't have. That's why our beloved country has gotten to this extreme. So, I woke up fat and realized that my children deserve better. It's not for me. I would have done it years ago had it been for me, but there was clearly something keeping me back. I don't think my faith was strong enough. This week turned a corner for me. I had a great long-distance friend who gave me a wonderful starting point for nutrition and a great local friend who decided we should walk together. We've walked together twice this week and I hurt like heck. But I'll be there in the morning doing it again, because I cannot fail this time. I have too much riding on this one.
I keep reading that verse above and I have some major apologizing to do to my Father in Heaven. I took his temple and used it as my trash can. I didn't was the windows. I didn't do the simple maintenance to keep it a working building. But I don't read that verse with only negativity. I see such hope and such light in it. Because He IS with me. The Holy Spirit is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. I feel His power when I need the will power to avoid the bad foods in the grocery store. I feel His power when I don't want to get off the sofa and go walk. One painful step at a time. He's walked with me before. He walks with me again.
No more excuses. No more stalling. It starts here and it starts now. This 267.4 pound woman has had enough and that is that!!

True Love

My heart overflows with so much love today and always for my sweet, precious husband. Our first year of marriage, I crochet'd my heart to my him through an Anne Bradstreet poem. After 15 1/2 years of marriage, I still feel the same way.
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye woman, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the east doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere,
That when we love no more, we may live ever.
There really are few words that describe the true love that I feel for my husband. Now, I know that some of you will roll your eyes about this because that's what you do. Let me be honest, this post if for my Schnookums. I don't much care what anyone else thinks of this.

So, I say this to you, my dear, you are the sun that warms the Earth, the moon that lightens the night and the stars that listen to dreams. And for that, I love you like the sun. I love you like the moon. I love you like the stars. I love you. I love you. I love you. ;-)

I Saw Him

I saw God today and what a glorious sight it was. I started to go to bed already and as I finished my bath and prepared to lay down, my heart said, not yet. I felt Him speaking to me to come type this blog entry.
Tonight, as I entered the dance studio, I heard bits and pieces of a story that sent chills down my spine. He was right there. In the eyes of a mother. on the tired face of a little girl. Right in front of me!!! And as realization sets in now, I am amazed. I witnessed a Faith like none other. A Faith that can only show God.

Let me explain... It was a quiet night in the studio. I had taken Owen for his make up tap class and saw his teacher, Ms. Tracy speaking with a mother. As I put on Owen's shoes and prepared him for class, I only half listened to the conversation. It's a small room, you see, so a private conversation is not something that could happen. I saw this woman that looked no different than you nor I and heard something that struck me. "It's February, and I'm still here." I heard her talk about finding a doctor that she really trusts that will help the cancer go away. I heard her positive attitude and determination to beat this disease that has built a home inside her and I thought, wow! What an incredible woman (as I often do with cancer). Then I felt my heart tug as I heard her talk about her daughter who I had seen inside the studio dancing her little heart out. I don't know the family. I didn't recognize either of them, but Ms. Tracy had mentioned it was good that they were back. I then heard the mother talk about how her daughter had just finished a round of radiation for the cancer in her knee but that she was eager to be back at dancing. I didn't even get it then. As this little girl came out, just slightly out of breath with a beautiful smile on her face. Ms. Tracy said, I love the new hair too. The mother looked at her daughter with a look of sadness and said, "That's all that has returned." That's when it hit me. This little girl. This beautiful tiny dancer had been going through cancer as well. The battle raging in their home was on both mother and daughter and their struggle was together. I couldn't fathom. There were no words for these strangers...for this struggle with the devil to heal their broken bodies.

There are some who say, "God won't put anymore on your shoulders than you can carry." I have heard it many times in my life. The idea that God puts something on us and knows our limits and takes us to our breaking point to see how strong we are is not so. At least I don't think it is. God doesn't put things on us or send enormous tragedies that destroy us and fragment our lives. That's not the God I know.

Read the gospels. Listen about Jesus and see what God is like. Jesus doesn't pull triggers or walk down the street and wreck cars or send diseases to people, or cause heart attacks. God doesn't take a father or daughter from a family because God is lonely and needs them in heaven. Jesus heals and feed and opens eyes and befriends and loves! In our world, cars crash and diseases destroy and people act a fool. Why blame God for that!
Paul writes in Romans 8 that in times of suffering and struggle are not times when God is absent, but are times when God is most present with love and solidarity. God stands with us even in the worst of times and nothing, NOTHING, can separate us from God.
When forces larger than life swirl around us and seem beyond our control and overwhelm us, Paul says, "In all of this we are more than conquerors through the one who loves us." That sounds like a promise of victory to me. The cross and resurrection of Jesus show us God's conquest of suffering and death with life. Parade all of the forces that threaten to undo us and destroy us, and pull off their masks and you will see the fraud for what they really are! They cannot separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Their power is temporary. God is with us in our suffering, and we share with Christ in God's victory.
How is this belief possible? Look around. See the family battling cancer, the death of a loved one, an inexplicable accident. The Faith in the lives of God's people!
Skeptics call them foolish. Paul calls them victors, conquerors even. What do you call them?

Goodbye is never permanent

Friendship. It comes and goes and sometimes it goes without any realization. You make friends and life goes on. Before you realize it, you aren't really friends with them. One thing or another happens, you grow apart. You become different people and suddenly have nothing in common. Years go by and you find them on Facebook. You friend each other and while it's nice to catch up and see what life is like for them, it's not the friendship you had before.
I don't have many friends that I would consider close friends. I treasure each friend I have, but someone who I know I can go to and cry no matter what the situation, only two stick out. My sweet, adorable and loving husband who has been there through some tough times and loves me despite my flaws. My super bestest friend who has been there since we were little. She's the one that you call because you know she's the ONLY one that will truly understand. No matter how many years go between seeing each other or how many months between calls or emails, you know she will be there without judgment, with open arms and a wonderful listening shoulder to cry on.
Then God puts someone in your life that gives you hope for a close friend (cause we all know that girls long for that close relationship- that someone they can go to just because they need to talk about their significant other's gas or the way the dog is chewing on everything or just to talk about the difference between your toilets and the ones from her country ;-) I have a friend like that. My sweet Angelah. I have never met a woman like her... so strong and so loving. She has the biggest heart and the brightest soul. We can talk for hours and not even realize where the time has gone. And my children... oh, little Owen thinks she's his girlfriend and Alec loves to hear her stories. My little Fifi just thinks she hangs the moon.
We became friends out of proximity. You see, she's my neighbor's (One of the best neighbors a girl could ever ask for) girlfriend. But it is complicated. Her home is in India. Yeah, I'm talking the country all that ways away. God put Nick and Angelah together because He has a purpose. But God is also testing their relationship as well as others she has made because she can't stay in the United States but for a period of time and it's not just as simple as getting married and getting a Green card. As I said, it's complicated, but they are doing it the right way ;-)
So, for the second time in the past year, we have to say goodbye to our dear friend who has to go "home." I know I am bound to cry this week when I have to say goodbye because I am just that kind of sappy dope, but I do pray for strength as I know that goodbyes are always harder when you wear your heart on your sleeve. Tearing ourselves away from the people who mean a lot to us is one of the most painful things in life.
But as I think about saying goodbye, I hope that my dear friend knows how much she touched my heart and how much of an impact she has made on the lives of my entire family and holds dear to that as she awaits the day she can return (hopefully for good).
My favorite author, Maya Angelou, once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

I pray that holds true for my friend :-) We will miss you, but we know you will be home soon.

Looking Around

Today my blog post found me at church. Yes, I meant that exactly how I typed it. Someone struck me today (not physically, but mentally) and I can't help but think. What a great blessing to be able to do that: to think.
As we stood praising and worshiping with great songs that took me back to singing at the Senior Center with Red Motter (my older friends know who Red was) and an awesome worship team, someone walked in late. To be honest, I don't know him or his parents well. I sit on the same side as them and always say hello, but to go beyond that, we haven't had a conversation with them. He comes in with his wife oftentimes, but I noted he looked a bit disheveled as he came in late to join his parents. Alone. His parents shared some sort of look that said something, but not knowing them or the situation I couldn't tell what it was about, nor was I really interested.
What I could tell was that he seemed a bit off. I've seen him sharply dressed and smiling- a handsome young man. But today, he wore workout pants and a sweatshirt. He looked out of breath as he came in and stood. And despite the fact that I have seen him sing rather passionately during our time of worship and praise, he just stood there with his coat still on. I couldn't help but be distracted as I looked at the back/side of this person and thought, what has he been through this week? Then I started looking around (Ron would not have been happy to note that I continued this during the sermon when I most definitely needed to be listening, but my ADD had kicked in). I looked across the room at the beautiful teenager that I know and adore as she listened (yeah even she was listening - bad Kim. hee hee). I saw her glance at her mother with a smile and thought, what kind of week did she have? I looked up at one of my favorite elder of the church (I won't name names because I adore him too much to make others jealous that I like him the best. ;-) I saw the passion for Jesus and wondered what kind of week did he have?
How often do we go to church and have something else on our mind. Or something in our heart that we just can't let go to worship and allow Jesus to work his wonders. Then I looked down at my sweet Owen and thought about his week. I've been there for that, but how much do I really know. Do I really know what kind of week he had? Am I in tune in my own life to even know what kind of week I had?
Then I came back in tune and paid attention to hear Ron talking about being beggars for the Lord and I felt myself wondering about the kind of week that beggar he was talking about had before running into Peter and John. It wasn't literal. The beggar was lame. He was sitting in front of the church at the right time and the right place with the right question and the right attitude (YEAH, I was listening a little). He was asking for money, but he was asking for so much more.
How often do we go into church and we are begging for someone to pay attention and just notice that we are having an off day, whether we say it or not? And while they don't always do it, sometimes just a smile will make the difference for us. I hope my smile helped.....someone. I hoped my kind words helped....someone. I hope my quick hug helped....someone.
As we go through this next week. I challenge you to first of all read Acts 3, but also to think about the beggar and your own walk with Christ. May He give you strength to stand on your own, no matter what challenges you face this week. And when you are standing there, look around. He's not only right beside you, but He might be working to help someone else stand on weak legs. Just reach out your hands and help....someone.

25 years later

Today is one of those days that sit here and think back at a memory that you aren't sure is real or maybe you saw it on tv. Well, today's memory is both. 25 years ago today, many of us sat as school children watching the Challenger, excited about the prospects it brought, only to have it blow up in the sky. I was 11 years old that day. I remember feeling like it wasn't real. (kinda like 9-11). I remember everyone, everywhere being in shock as if it wasn't possible. 73 seconds after launch. 46,000 feet into the air. An "explosion" on live tv at 11:39 am as the shuttle disintegrated over the Atlantic Ocean, off the Florida coast. 7 people lost their lives.
 Michael J Smith, 40, liked woodworking, last words "Uh-Oh." Father of 3.
Dick Scobee, 46, enjoyed motorcycling and flying. Father of 2.
Ronald McNair, 35, 5th black belt, prepared to record a saxophone solo in space. Father of 2.
Ellison Onizuka, 39, first Asian American to reach space. loved the outdoors(hunting and fishing). Father of 2.
Christa McAuliffe, 37, TEACHER. "I have a vision of the world as a global village, a world without boundaries. Imagine a history teacher making history!" . Mother of 2.
Gregory Jarvis, 41, ENGINEER. played the classical guitar. Avid squash player.
Judith Resnik, 36, classical pianist. from Akron, OH

Today, as a Mom, I can't help but think of those astronauts' families. I can't help but think of those children who grew up without fathers or a mother. I can't help but think of the ladies who became single mothers.. the father who became a single father. How very difficult their journey had to have been. We all think back to what we were doing and how it affected our lives. That is so insignificant compared to the loss of these families.
So today, I say a prayer for those families who watched, along with the entire world, their loved ones perish above the Atlantic Ocean. We shall never forget.

Talking

Well, the resolutions did just what I predicted. hee hee. But I promise to come up with a better February theme (I hope) for any of you out there who like to visit and read.
Today, I'm thinking of my sweet monkey pants. My daughter isn't much of a talker. Shock of all shocks since the middlest doesn't stop talking. (seriously, he even talks in his sleep). So many days I wonder what she is wanting or thinking. At her last pediatrician appointment, Doc said to stop talking for her. That we are probably doing that and she's getting lazy. We did that... only to find she wanted to learn more sign language. I thought that would be awesome. Alec uses sign language and has since he was 7 or 8 months old. How bad could it be? Oh my, I should have thought twice about it. Now she wants to know the sign for everything and while her language is expanding, she's still refusing to talk. Even more so now.
So, funny of all funnies, she gets into the dishes pantry where she knows not to be. But she's two. I let her carefully pile up the dishes and when she throws a coffee cup across the floor and into one of the "bowl plates" screaming, I am not too thrilled. No, it didn't break. I started to let it go, but she continues screaming and can't seem to tell me what's going on. Then she starts signing spider to me. Apparently, we need to use those coffee cups more often or actually dust in there. She was frantic about a spider (which is white- haven't seen one of those before) which was located and killed. When I had verified the path of death and destruction to her, she signed Thank you to me. Here is an example. Could she have said spider? yes. I KNOW she knows that word, but she didn't. Could she have told me thank you, yes. I KNOW she knows those words. She's choosing not to.
Another poignant moment came shortly afterward when she brought me another sugar stick (airhead) and set it on the sofa. She signed, more please as she had had one earlier in the morning (yeah, let's not question that parenting decision). Then held it up. I refused until she used her words. She signed again. Again, I said no, not until you use your words. She signed one more time and ROLLED HER EYES AT ME. I said, I understand what you are saying to me young lady, but you HAVE to use your words or I will not do it. She actually stomped away and said, "I DO IT." hee hee. I laugh at that only because she used her words for that one. ;-) After struggling to open it for about 10 minutes, she walked over to me and signed as she spoke. She said, Please open. I said, good girl. Momma likes it when you use your words. Great moment when she replied thank you and signed it as well.
There are so many days that words can't describe what we want and our vocabulary doesn't have those words even if we did want to describe it. I think of that like my sweet little girl. She doesn't have all the words yet, but she's learning. We don't have the words yet, but we're learning. We have to try to be patient and keep trusting that we are doing the best we can and that eventually we will get there :-)
One small step for my sweet 2 year old today, one giant leap in the Lunsford house. :-)

Difference

Resolutions are so easy to come by and easy to break. As I go on this journey, I am trying to think of what things we can do this year that we won't break. I want to make a difference. I don't know where that difference will be yet as it's early in this resolution. But there are so many ways that we can do that.
My heart is leading me to write more and to work on this book that I so feel God leading me to write. So I decided to take 20 minutes this morning and dedicate that to researching what I need to do to create and sell my proposal for it. Not a lot of time, but something. Will it make a difference? I hope so.
But there are other things that I'm thinking right now. Little differences. My Alec so wanted a keyboard for Christmas, and Santa delivered a great one. It wasn't enough though, so we signed him up for these great piano lessons. Something that seems small, but when you see the child's eyes when he talks excitedly about his first piano lesson tonight, you see that difference. It's little, yes. But it's huge to him. How do you know that the difference you make isn't huge? The smile you give to a stranger. The video you take of a homeless man with an incredible voice and decide to put on You Tube. I mean, think about it. He's not homeless anymore. He's got a job and is doing the morning talk show circuit just for one person saying, WOW, what a voice and putting it online. It seems little, but was it for him? Think about it...

Jude 1:22-23 (New King James Version)

²² And on some have compassion, making a distinction;^{[a] 23} but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire,^[b] hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.

Choice of Words

This morning has been enlightening. How often do we think about what we are saying? I sat listening to my precious 6 year old struggling to use words because of his lack of two front teeth. He already has an issue that sounds like stuttering when his brain cannot catch up to his mouth, so these missing teeth are really giving him a hard time. As I listened to him, I thought about my own words and others and how they seem so darn easy to come off the tongue even though we should be struggling to say them.
I think of Ricky and growing up. How many times did I sit at the bus stop and hear them calling him names! "Retard" and words that truly are obscenities. Such a sweet sweet fella. He did nothing wrong. He stood on the corner reading (normally it was the Bible or dictionary- wise beyond words if you ask me) and shouting about what he was reading. I remember being quiet and thinking how wrong it was that those other kids would be mean to him. Until one day when Marcie and I had had enough and we stood up to those kids and told them that what they were doing was wrong. It felt good to stand up for what I believed in, and I always thought he appreciated what we did in the long run (probably doesn't even remember it, but I hope he does).
Now, I type about this and think about things I say on a daily basis that can be considered a bad choice. I'm not the only one. I hear it in the grocery store when mother's get frazzled with their kids. I hear it on the way to school or even at dance or a sporting event. It's everywhere.

Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear"

Let's work on our tongues today. That we build up instead of tearing down. That we don't say something that we know isn't appropriate. Yes, another resolution, but is it? hee hee

What does it mean to eat healthier?

I started thinking today about food. While that's not really a shock to anyone as I clearly think of food often ;-), I was thinking about eating healthier. THAT is a shock. hahaha. If you think about it, we actually don't realize what we eat in a day unless we keep track of it. As I started tracking my food intake yesterday, I realized that, shock of all shocks, I am not eating enough food. So, I thought to myself, how do you get overweight (let's be honest-- obese) when you don't eat enough? So I started thinking about what I've eaten in the past and that phrase, I'm STARVING! Not really, but we all say it. If you don't eat enough calories in a day, maybe the next day you go overboard and eat too many calories or the wrong foods.
Let's look at some examples...
Pizza. Great food, right. My logic is there it has cheese for my dairy intake and then veggies on top and some protein if you like to include meat. If you are technical about it, you also have fruit as a tomato is a fruit and the sauce is made from tomatoes. Taking a look at what that pizza would be like in our household, requires a purchase from Little Caesar's Pizza. I like my research, but decided I'm not ready to go that far yet. So I ventured on line. We would normally get a cheese and a pepperoni (love those leftovers). Guess there goes the veggies. Oh well, so the nutritional information for the cheese that I normally eat is very interesting. One slice. How many truly eat just one slice? Well, anyhow, one slice is 240 calories and 9 g of fat. If you are watching your cholesterol or your sodium levels, you don't want me to tell you those. It's insane and high.
Can we make pizza healthier? I think so. We can improve it by using less cheese or healthier cheese options than the processed. We can also adjust the crust. I am considering using rice flour next time I make it at home. Plus at home, you can pile all the veggies on that you know you love. Broccoli and chicken with mushrooms. mmmm, getting hungry thinking about it.
Tacos.. We like Taco Bell, but our favorite is Chipolte (when the kids don't want it). This one had me going OMW. I like the burrito and while I normally get chicken, I thought I'd look it up for steak this time. Includes: -1 Burrito-size Flour Tortilla -6 oz. Cilantro-Lime Rice -4 oz. Black Beans -2.5 oz. Fajita Vegetables -4 oz. Steak -3.5 oz. Tomato Salsa -3.5 oz. Corn Salsa  Drum Roll please....... 970 calories. Not a typo, I really mean that!!! 24.5 g of Fat. Makes me want to avoid that place for a little while.
We can make a burrito at home that is half the size and definitely half the calories and fit what we want in it. salsa is a low fat food. Let's focus on that. Let's use more veggies and a leaner meat than the steak. We can make it a healthy option just by using foods that are better for us.
I'm also finding that I'm eating too much in the evenings and not enough during the day. That's a hard one, but I realized that the experts do say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. By all accounts, it really should be the largest as you've been sleeping for how many ever hours you were blessed with getting before being awoken by that nasty alarm clock or that screaming beautiful child. Sleep will take some serious energy out of you and coffee alone won't do it. Today, I had raisin bran with milk and yogurt and by the look of my caloric intake, I'm not there yet. Still not enough food. My task for tomorrow is going to be finding a breakfast that is nutritionally big enough to get me through my day.
This thinking about food is too much work! hee hee. Another resolution that is hard to put to your brain when you are used to being fat and lazy, but one worth the effort, I believe. I think it's almost snack time. yum, string cheese and banana with a few crackers sounds pretty good.

Dust Bunnies

I'm not sure anyone is truly a friend of dust bunnies. I've personally kicked them out of the house SEVERAL times in just the past year. I don't intend to invite them over for dinner and a movie, and I most certainly do not wish for them to attend my family functions at my house. But somehow, they end up all over my house hiding, eluding, evading.
So my "non-resolution" moment of the day was for cleaning today. I charged myself with removing the dust bunnies from my sweet 2 year old's room today. Knowing that I had kicked them out when I bumped her closet from 18 month clothing to 24 months not so long ago, I was shocked to find them EVERYWHERE. Yeah, they are multiplying like bunnies. Then I thought, oohh, I want to make sure to get the cool air intake taken care of. And as I sat here preparing to type this, I thought, drat! I forgot the ceiling fan. So, I have to climb my big butt up on a step stool (Fade to Wade in the background laughing as I shake and try not to shed tears due to my fear of heights).. and take care of the fan. An hour and a half after starting, I finally finished and was thrilled to watch those bunnies walk out the front door.
Then I walked into my bedroom and saw their cousins have moved into my room. Guess I'll get started on those next.....

Monthly Themes for 2011

In 2011, I thought I’d challenge myself to have a certain theme for each month. So, for the month of January, I would like to talk about resolutions as that is something so many people are working towards when beginning a new year. If you are a friend of mine or know me decently well, you will think, but Kim, you dislike resolutions. Why would you want to write about them for an entire month! You are right; thanks for paying attention. 
These won't be your normal resolution postings of I will lose weight (won't we all) or will use technology less (yeah, cause we don't live in a world that depends on it) or even will exercise more (really? What kind of crap are you selling yourself there!). Off my rant ;-) 
So let's move into resolution number one for our first day. I resolve to not resolve. Yes, you heard me right. I just announced a resolution theme and am refusing to follow it. I will not resolve to do anything different this year because today has been a day of feeling yucky and I cannot commit to anything at this time. 
Sound familiar? Something you've been meaning to do? Yeah, I didn't think so. I think many of us start the new year with all these grand ideas of being a better person, doing better things or accomplishing something you've been meaning to do. But if you think about it, we are the best procrastinators ever. I don't know the specific stats, but if you ask 10 of your friends their resolutions and then you ask those same 10 friends how many achieved those goals, I believe that at most, 2 of them would say they did. We are sinful, human creatures by definition, and therefore, we mess up. It's nice to have goals and strive to move forward with those, but let's be more realistic about who we are.
We cannot underestimate how easily we sin. So when we make those resolutions, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Even Paul, probably one of the greatest spiritual leaders, was struggling with his sinful nature.
Romans 7:15-20 
¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  

 So our battle continues as it has for thousands of years. Chocolate is always going to be a thorn in your side if it has always been a thorn in your side. Let's take today and resolve to not resolve and to accept our sinful  nature and acknowledge our failure.
I look forward to continuing this journey with you this month and to give you a chance to think about those resolutions you have selected.
 

Those in need

Today, I can't get this guy named Carl out of my head. He lives in Texas, but I don't know much about him.
Let me tell you the story of Carl.
This is from my friend's FB page. "A man knocked on our door tonight...I was at a friends, wrapping gifts we had bought for a different family who was in need. This man wanted to shovel our driveway (that didn't need to be shoveled) for money to buy his son some Christmas gifts. My heart just breaks."
Her husband helped him pick gifts from the gift closet they have as well as took him to get some cash. Later, they found out they helped Carl, but it isn't what you would expect. They helped a man who is actually a con man. He's been going around her area telling a sob story, including tears about how in need his family is, but from reading his past things from her friends, I can see something.
While my friends were taken advantage of, they learned a lesson about taking care of others despite all others. Today, I keep thinking about Carl and what needs he must have to be stealing from people like this. For what needs he has that are not met in his everyday life. Today, while I pray for my friend's family and their understanding of this unusual insight from God, I pray for Carl. I pray that God touches him in some way. That he is able to see humanity as a great, kind touch from God. That God is showing him through other Christians that he doesn't have to steal or lie to get what he needs in life. I pray that God be with him in this season. May the Lord bless you Carl and be in your heart!

Santa's Christmas Prayer by Alda Monteschio

On Christmas Eve the other night
I saw the most amazing sight,
for there beneath the Christmas tree
was Santa kneeling on his knee.

His countenance was different than
that all-familiar, jolly grin;
his head was bowed, with hand to breast,
and slightly tucked into his vest.

For there in a nativity was
Jesus and His family,
and as I heard him start to pray
I listened close to what he'd say.

"Lord, You know that You're the reason
I take pleasure in this season.
I don't want to take Your place,
but just reflect Your wondrous grace.

I hope You'll help them understand
I'm just an ordinary man,
who found a way to do Your will
by finding kids with needs to fill.

But all those centuries ago,
there was no way for me to know
that they would make so much of me,
and all the gifts beneath the tree.

They think I have some hidden power
granted at the midnight hour,
but it is my love for You
inspiring the things I do.

And so when they begin to open gifts
for which they have been hoping,
may they give You all the glory,
for You're the One True Christmas Story."

What shall we wish for today....

Today is one of those days that was just absolutely crazy insane busy; therefore, I am just now getting around to my Christmas Wish for the day. These are a lot harder than I once thought they would be. I have so many prayers and wishes for individuals that I would just love to put out there. It makes it difficult to pick just one. I would like to stick close to my FB video post earlier today at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OExXItDyWEY.
I look forward to the day when we can all stand in line to see Jesus. I love that this is a true story out of the mouth of babes. It is so befitting that a child would come up with this original thought. My Christmas wish today is that someone sees Jesus in their everyday and feels Him in their hearts. Let's all stand in line for Jesus. Let's all bring Christmas wishes true where we can show non-believers the Glory of the Lord!!!

Wishes for Violet

As I start this post, I wish I could have every wish I make this month come true like yesterdays. Today, while we celebrate something that seems big to us, but is really small potatoes a family grieves. My Christmas wish for Violet is peace. I haven't seen an update since yesterday, so I don't know what is currently going on.
Violet has been battling Central Neuroblastoma. She was doing well and even went back to school to start out the school year. An MRI even showed no cancer 3 months ago. Unfortunately, she began vomiting and a new MRI showed that the cancer is back and very aggressive. She was given weeks to months.
Violet is coming closer to the end. This precious 7 year old who has fought for the past year for survival is going to see an end to her short little life very soon. I say this with a heavy heart as we don't know if she is even still with us at this point. The family is working to keep her comfortable and enjoy every last precious minute they have with her. I wish a peaceful passing for her, but this is about an entire community who has embraced her and her family. I am praying for peace for the family and for the children at school. So many that didn't even know Violet are praying for her and the family. They need to feel the arms of Christ around them in this time of pain. Continued prayers are what I wish for Violet and her family.

Let It Snow!

So here we are December 1st and the first real snow of the year is here. How awesome is that! Very excited to see it and see what Sofia's reaction is going to be this morning when she finally wakes up.
So I've been thinking about what kind of theme we should go with this month and have finally settled on Christmas Wishes. I welcome my friends to share their wishes with me for my blog. (You can remain nameless if you wish :-)
Today's Christmas wish is for my sweet hubby. As we start this holiday season and move into December, I think of my generous husband and how much he wants to provide for our family and help heal the hearts of his previous co-workers. My Christmas wish for him is a return to work; to a job that is appropriate for his skill set, that challenges him appropriately and puts a smile on his face. That is my Christmas wish for today.